By late Sunday morning, all the clothes have been washed and folded and I’ve run out of things to clean. Sasha isn’t going to be home until late—if at all—which means I’m sitting on a now-pristine floor, tired and alone with too many thoughts spinning in my mind, a state I absolutely despise. It’s unproductive and makes you confused and stupid.
So what’s a girl to do when she doesn’t want to think?
I try Netflix. But its AI must be spying on me because it’s recommending me nothing but baby shows. How many movies and dramas about pregnancy can you make? Is it a thing to run away from your boyfriend while you’re carrying his baby? At least four shows say it is…if he’s a sociopath.
Maybe this is Netflix’s way of making me feel better about my life. Emmett might have a naked woman stopping by, but at least he’s not a serial killer.
Wow, Amy. Set the bar low, why don’t you?
Okay. How about Prime videos?
Let’s see… Movies and shows about baby showers… Surprise pregnancy… Maternity leave…
Ugh. What kind of excitement can you possibly generate from a show about maternity leave?
I turn the TV off and throw my hands in the air. There’s gotta be something else more fun to do… Like… Like…
My eyes slide to the bathroom. The toilet gleams at me.
Fuck. My. Life.
Expelling a long sigh, I drag myself to the closet and change into an office outfit. It’s Sunday, but it doesn’t matter. It’s my rule not to do work at home.
My phone pings. I brace myself, since I have no clue if it’s going to be Emmett the Boss or Emmett the Fling.
But happily enough, it’s Dad!
–Dad: Hey, sweetie pie! How are you?
I’m pregnant and might end up a single mom, but hey, my bathroom is really clean.
–Me: I’m doing awesome. How about you?
–Dad: Great! Just great!
We exchange selfies. He looks happy, and I look okay. It helps that I’m not in my frumpy cleaning T-shirt and shorts anymore.
–Dad: Hey, remember how I said I’d be in SoCal for Xavier’s wedding and would stop by?
–Me: Yeah.
–Dad: Well, it got canceled.
–Me: What happened?
–Dad: Xavier decided he’s better off single.
Shocking. I mean, I agree with Xavier’s assessment, given that this would be his fifth marriage. But I honestly didn’t think he’d come to that conclusion on his own. Most people can’t see their own situations clearly.
–Me: How come?
–Dad: His fiancée got pregnant.
Asshole. That’s a terrible reason to dump your fiancée. My empathy doubles, since I understand exactly how she’s feeling right now. Emmett hasn’t dumped me, but then, he doesn’t know. And based on what happened yesterday, he might. A baby would get in the way of him doing “auditions.”
–Dad: Turns out it’s not his baby.
I take it back. What a bitch.