I’d fucked Sig. That was the least shameful part. I’d done so much more than that. Sighing, I let my hands flop to my sides and I stared up at the ceiling. Worse, my body was humming and felt so…alive. It was mocking me, reminding me that if I submitted to their will, did what they wanted, good things happened.Really good things.
“They may be experts in the art of seduction and sex,” I muttered, “but that doesn’t mean anything.” My heart was quiet and content in my chest. My mind was the only part of me that was still holding out against them. “I can’t give in,” I insisted, arguing with my delightfully pulsing pussy. It was as though something inside of me was trying to convince me to forget my mission and just stay.
“And what would I do here?” I continued. “Play housewife for the mercenaries?” I looked around. “In a hut? In the middle of a desert?” I’d have to do something between the mind numbing orgasms.
My heart squeezed and I glared at the ceiling again. “It’s a hell of a thing when your own body is against you.”
Shoving off the cot, I got up and dressed quickly. I wasn’t going to let the dopamine rush after a bout of sex—okay, phenomenal sex—change my mind. I was in control here and I had a plan.
I walked out of the hut, feeling a little steadier. That went out the window as soon as three sets of eyes snapped over to me. The door slammed shut behind me, making me jump, and Rafe’s eyes narrowed dangerously.
Good.ThatI knew how to deal with. I had several days of experience dealing with his shitty moods. What I couldn’t handle was the tender way he’d bathed me last night. The look in all of their eyes while they’d watched me get fucked. I was not equipped to deal with any of that.
Shaking off the embarrassment, I went and sat on my usual spot on my log. I wasn’t going to feel bad for indulging my own desires last night. I just had to be careful not to do so again. I’d been the one to take Sig’s hand and put it on my body. I’d wanted him to touch me. I’d known exactly where it was going to lead. Okay maybe notexactlywhere. Still, I didn’t regret it. But it would be dangerous to allow it to happen again. That was it, wasn’t it? I allowed it to happen. Sure, they encouraged me, were sexy, and seductive. But not forceful. I had to ask for it before they would act.
My heart melted and slid down to my feet like butter when Sig kissed the top of my head when he passed. That. That was the exact reason it couldn’t happen again. The connection between Sig and me right now was blazing brightly. Sleeping with him had carved out a piece of my heart and now it was his. I had a feeling I wasn’t going to get it back. I had to safeguard the remaining pieces or I was screwed and I’d end up being a desert faring nomad for the rest of my life.
It was far too easy to picture what it might be like to be theirs, permanently.Would it be so bad?Shutting the images out, I focused on the fire. I needed to keep my wits about me.
“You normally this quiet when you first wake up, Little Warrior?” Arsen asked in amusement.
Yes.I wasn’t a morning person. Remaining mute, I wrapped my arms around myself and kept my eyes on the dancing flames. His chuckle was a deep rumble.
“Don’t question a gift, Arsen,” Rafe told him.
That brought me fully awake. My eyes popped off the flames and bored into him. “Back to being an asshole, I see.”
His grin was slow and wide. He didn’t bother to respond, but the other two were howling with laughter. I think they got a kick out of our verbal sparring matches.
Almost as much as you do,my inner voice purred. The stupid bitch was right, but I wasn’t going to admit it.
Turning away from him, I sat quietly as they went about their usual morning routine. I didn’t utter a peep when Rafe sat next to me at breakfast and offered me not only the first slice of meat, but did so before I had to resort to begging. He still made me take it from his fingers with my mouth, but this was much better already. I wasn’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I kept mine shut and ate.