She hated that she was this desperate for reassurance, but she had no frame of reference. No one had ever loved her, before. Not since her brothers were little boys, anyway. And she’d let them down, so they could be excused for not loving her anymore.
“I’m positive,” he said. “You don’t have to say it back. I know it’s too soon. All I want is for you to know how I feel, and for you to trust me a little. Not every risk involves jumping out of airplanes and fighting fires, you know. Try taking a chance on having something more in your life than just work.”
She did want more. She wanted as much as life had to offer. But she had so much already. Could she afford to be greedy?
“It’s not you I don’t trust.” If he ever decided he’d made a mistake and didn’t really love her, she’d survive. She’d learn from it, but she’d be okay. But if she let him down, she’d be hurting him, too. Did she want to be responsible for that? “Maybe we should lay a few ground rules.”
“I should have known you’d turn this into a contractual agreement.” Humor rolled off him. “Other than the exclusivity clause, which we’ve already discussed, the only rule I’ll agree to is that we talk about any decisions we make that affect our relationship.”
A relationship. With Dan. Excitement and fear pulsed through every square inch of her body and threatened to burst through her skin. If she closed her eyes, she was free-falling for the very first time.
But if she was going to do this, she was doing it with her eyes wide open. The best part of the jump was watching the ground race toward her and trying to figure out the right place to land.
“I’m going to pass on McCall.” She held up a hand to forestall any comments so she could explain. “Ryan suggested I set up Custer County as another training location. Before I relocate to Grand though, I’m going back to Helena for the winter so I can make plans for next season without anything influencing my judgment. Are you willing to put our relationship on hold until then?”
“Is turning Custer County into a training base what you want?”
“Yes.” It turned out Ryan was right. The challenge of building her own base—of training to standards she helped develop—excited her far more than the thought of managing a base other people had already established. She’d never learn to like sending jumpers into danger, but that wasn’t bad. It meant she’d always put extra care into her plans.
“I’m sorry, but no. I’m not willing to put our relationship on hold,” Dan said, but before her excitement could convert completely to terror, he added, “Because there’s no need for it. We’ve already been talking about buying a private helicopter for the Endeavour and Helena’s only about an hour away by air. We’ll make it work.”
Him having access to that kind of money still boggled her mind. “Perfect. You’ll have an airport and a helicopter. I have enough jump hours to qualify as an instructor. Maybe we should start a skydiving school together rather than a smoke-jumping base. Then we could go skydiving when we’re stressed instead of stealing Ryan’s cars.”
“I’m pretty sure you’re kidding,” he said, “but this might be a good time to say so.”
She got out of the car and moved around to the passenger side. She opened his door and sat on his lap, careful not to hurt his injured leg. She draped her arm around his neck. “I promise, if this doesn’t work out, it won’t be because I didn’t try my hardest.”
His hand stroked up the length of her spine, then he cupped the back of her head, bringing her lips closer to his. “Are you talking about the base or a long-distance relationship?” he asked.
This level of happiness could only mean one thing.
“Both,” she whispered, her heart pounding madly, “because I love you, too.”