“I don’t want to leave the family struggling,” I said. “There’s so much here to do. But at the same time, I think my family will want me to go home.”
“You don’t seem any closer to making your mind up,” she replied.
“I don’t know what to do for the best, Betty. I just don’t want to let anybody down.”
She reached over and took my hand in hers and focused her eyes on me. “Do you remember walking home after the bonfire at the harvest?
“When Arthur set upon us? How could I forget?”
“Before that. Do you remember what you said to me?”
I shook my head, all recollection of our conversation now gone.
“You asked me what it was that I wanted. What is it that you want, Tom? Forget your obligations and decide what it is that you want. What is going to make you happiest?”
She stood up from the wall and headed for the house, leaving me to contemplate her words.
“Tom,” she called out as she reached the back door. “If you do decide your path leads you away from here then I shall miss you very much.”
She gave me a final smile and then disappeared back inside the house.
Later that day I was stacking hay in the barn when the door swung open and Gwyn walked in. He was sporting his usual smile and looking particularly handsome and I was very glad to see him.
“Hello stranger,” I said, sitting down on one of the bales.
Gwyn had made his feelings for me clear when I’d fallen ill, but not wanting to pressure me into making a decision he’d been giving me space since the funeral to come to a decision about what I wanted, promising that he would wait for however long it took. He’d stuck to his word, and I’d found myself missing him more and more.
“I thought I’d check in,” he replied, taking a seat beside me. “It’s been a few days since I last saw you.”
“Ah, I’m still as beautiful as ever,” I joked, flashing him a big grin.
“It’s true,” he replied. “And it’s a good job that you are because you’re incredibly dull otherwise.”
“Shut up!” I said, hitting him in the arm and pushing him into the hay. I enjoyed his teasing and I’d missed it when he wasn’t around. “Do you know what I like most about spending time with you?”
“What?” He asked, sitting upright again.
“Absolutely nothing!”
His mouth dropped open, feigning offence, and I burst into laughter again. He shoved me back onto the hay and I grabbed at his shirt, pulling him over with me. In an instant he was on top of my chest, his face inches from mine and the laughter came to an abrupt stop. We barely had time to lock eyes before our lips met and we were kissing frantically, our hands ravaging each other as we rolled around in a frenzy of pent-up wanting.
“Not here,” I said, dragging him towards the ladder to the second floor. I didn’t know if it was a smart decision, but I knew it was what I wanted right then.
As we were sneaking back out of the barn a little later, Teddy rounded the corner giving us both the fright of our life.
“What are you doing creeping around?” I snapped, half shocked by his sudden appearance and half terrified that he might have suspected what we’d been doing.
“Sorry,” he said, dropping a bucket to the floor and looking just as surprised as we were. “I need your help. We need to make a start weaning the calves.”
“Teddy, I’ve no idea about any of that stuff,” I said. While I was proud that I could now officially call myself a labourer, if not an actual farmer, there were still elements to working the land that I was clueless about.
“I know,” he said, giving me an impish grin. “This is how we get my father back to work.”
A few minutes later I was on the landing of the farmhouse preparing for battle.
“Mr Hopkin,” I called out and then walked straight through the bedroom door. If I’d knocked and waited, he’d have just ignored me. “Teddy says it’s time to wean, but I don’t know what to do.”
He sat in his chair, as he did every day now, drink in hand and watching the world outside pass by. He didn’t even look up to acknowledge me.