“You’re one to talk about anyone being dangerous. You are the dangerous one. You’re the reason Kam did any of this!” Megan counters.
“Of course, it’s my fault thatyourfiance went psycho. It's always my fault!”
“Alana, calm down,” Veronica orders sternly. “We’re getting off track.”
“It’s not like she’s ever listened to me before, even when I wasn’t yelling at her,” I tell her. I’m trying to take deep breaths to keep my anger from setting in, but it’s not working. “Nothing’s going to change that now.”
Now, Megan’s red-rimmed pissed-off eyes come up to me, and I cross my arms over my chest, staring her down, ready for whatever it is that’s about to come out of her mouth.
“That’s because you’re cruel, Alana,” she bites out at me. “The only things you’ve ever said to me have been mean and hurtful. How do you expect me to want to listen to you if all you do is insult me? The only thing you know how to do is tear people down.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?!” I yell incredulously. Her accusations make me let go of the calm I was trying to hold on to.
“Alana, let me-”
“Nope.” I hold my hand up, cutting Veronica off, but I’m still in this stare-down with Megan. “You love to blame me for ruining your life when you never even once thought about what would have happened if I hadn’t been here watching over your ass.”
“Watching over me?” she interrupts as if I just said something stupid.
“Yes, watching over you!” I snarl, too livid to care that Veronica’s looking up at me in horror at how vicious I’ve become. “If I hadn’t been with you since you were little, who knows what would have happened to you all those nights when you were staying in those houses with those foster dads that came into your room. You would have constantly been fighting those bitches in those group homes if I hadn’t scared them off. That psychiatrist- he would have fucking raped you, Megan, if I hadn’t stabbed him with that letter opener.”
The more I speak, the wider her eyes become as if she didn’t know what I was saying was a possibility. Has she really never considered any of this?
She’s going to have to now because I’m not stopping until she does. “I got my hands dirty and lost countless nights of sleep trying to keep us safe. All you’ve ever done is treat me like shit, talk about me like I’m a curse because you never bothered to reply when I was trying to get your attention.” Tears are running down my face now, and in a futile attempt, I try to wipe them away, but they keep coming.
“And after all that, when you do find out who I am, you didn’t even bother trying to talk to me. Instead, you just went and fucked with the one thing that’s ever brought me any kind of happiness. Do you know how shitty it was of you to throw Kam in Ian’s face every chance you got? And the worst part of watching it all is that you fucking knew what he was going through, and you still tried to run away with a kid that might be his. You and Kam loved to call me selfish, but you’re the selfish one!” I shout, pointing my finger at her. “Even now, despite what he put you through, you’re still trying to give Kameron the benefit of the doubt and excuse his behavior when we’re trying to tell you why you can’t. You don’t know the half of what Veronica and I went through to get us out of there but fuck us, I guess. You’re not the only one affected if you go back to him, Megan.”
Her wide green eyes are glued to me, sorrow stamped across her face, and I can see just how hard she swallows. Tears start to brim her eyes again, and I look away, not wanting to witness her crying again. I’m not about to feel bad for telling her the truth.
She opens her mouth to say something but nothing comes out as she cries, and she hangs her head again.
Bitterness creeps up inside me as she finally sees what I’ve been trying to get her to understand all these years. I didn’t know I’d feel so sour inside when she finally realized what I’d been doing for her. It baffles me that it took all of this to happen before she started hearing me out.
Veronica breaks the silence hanging around us this time.
“Megan,” she says softly. “She’s only looking out for you right now. I know her tone is harsh, and she can stand to choose her words differently, but they come from a place of caring that’s been buried under frustration for all these years. You have to understand where she’s coming from.”
Megan continues to sniffle.
“Kam made a mistake, a huge one. I understand why you both think he’s a terrible person, but he isn’t. He loves me, and I love him, and he needs help understanding and processing this, but he’d never hurt us. You both know that we were never not safe!” She’s pleading with us, tears streaming down her face.
“Megan, please,” Veronica says, her voice slightly rising.
“I want to at least wait until we know the paternity before I make a decision,” she says sternly, locking her eyes on both of us.
Before I can go off on her, Veronica speaks up.
“That’s not a good idea,” she tells Megan.
“I am not changing my mind on this,” she says, her voice now like ice.
“Well, since you’re not going to compromise on this, I’m letting you know, if this isn’t his baby. You and him are done. I swear to God,” I tell her through clenched teeth.
“You don’t get to decide that!” she says, her voice slightly wavering.
“Megan, I do think Ian is the better choice.” Veronica chimes in.
“What?” Megan gasps, baffled. I’m not sure how close she and Veronica have been, but this seems to catch her off guard, and I have to admit I’m shocked as well. I knew we were both on the same page about Kam not being good for our situation, but I didn’t think she’d side with me on Ian being who…weshould be with.