Just for You - Page 81
“The thing is…” Her lips trembled. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready, and the only way I know how to stop myself from being dragged back under is to shut myself off, to shut down.”
I froze. “Baby—”
“I can’t do this with you.” The tears kept coming. “I want to. You don’t know how much I want this, but I…I can’t.”
“What are you saying, Addison?”
“We can’t…we can’t see each other anymore, Levi. I need time. I never allowed myself time to grieve Macy, to work through it, and it’s…it’s made things worse.”
“You can’t do that with me here?” I rasped. My heart fucking shattered in my chest. This couldn’t be happening.
She shook her head. “Being close to you, thinking about a future with you, it’s a trigger for me right now. I can’t give you want you want no matter how much I want to. I’m sorry.”
The tears were streaming down her face now, and I didn’t know what the fuck to do. A grief disorder, PTSD, wasn’t something I could bulldoze my way through. I couldn’t make it better for her. Only Addison knew what she needed, what was best for her.
But still, I had to try because I was in love with this girl and walking away from her, ending this, wasn’t something I was capable of doing. “Forget the patch. We can go back to the way it was before I fucked everything up by mentioning it.”
“You did nothing wrong,” she sobbed. “You’re wonderful, the man of my dreams. You’re everything, but I can’t…I can’t…”
“It’s okay,” I said, pulling her against me. “Whatever you need, baby.” I cupped her face. “I’d rather you let me help you through this, to be here for you while you’re struggling. But if you can’t deal right now, it’s okay.” My gut was in fucking knots. Walking away from her while she was like this felt wrong in every possible way. But the last thing I wanted to do was hurt her more. “But I’m not giving up on this, understand? I’ll be waiting, Addie, however long it takes.”
She nodded, those tears an endless stream on her smooth, mahogany cheeks.
I held her heartbroken gaze. “You need me, I’m here. Any time, day or night. I’m here for you, Adds, you know that, right?”
“Yes,” she rasped.
“Don’t forget it. Promise me.”
“I promise.”
I pressed a kiss to her lips, and she trembled against me. “I’m gonna call your girls to come over, okay. Don’t want you on your own like this.”
She nodded but said no more.
I didn’t want to let her go, but that’s what she said she needed. If I held her tight instead, I knew without a doubt I’d lose her forever.
So I’d let her go…and hope like fuck she’d come back to me when she was ready.
Source: readsnovelonline.net