She blinked rapidly. “But you said…you said it was only while we were away. You said that was all you wanted.”

I took her face in my hands. “Baby, I lied. I lied through my fucking teeth. Not only about that, but to get you to Colorado with me. I would have done anything to get more time with you after all the shit you said in my truck at The Mule.”

Her eyes widened and her face darkened. I could feel the heat coming off her smooth cheeks. “What did I say?”

She remembered, at least some of it. I could see it in her eyes. “You came to my place that night to try to start things up again, didn’t you, baby? With your cute little outfit and your tin of brownies? You were going to tell me that you needed me, that you’d been scared, but you needed what only I could give you. That you couldn’t ignore this thing between us either.”

She was breathing hard.

“You wanted to be my good girl. You still do, don’t you, cupcake? You don’t want this to end any more than I do.”

Her lip quivered. “I can’t do this,” she said desperately and pulled from my arms. She shoved the key in the door and ran inside, slamming it in my face.

I stood there for several seconds, breathing hard.

I had two options; I could leave and give her time to sort through her feelings, or I could stay and force her to confront whatever that hell was going on. Force her to fucking talk to me.

But again, I was done waiting, so I opened the door and strode in. I wasn’t giving her another night to talk herself out of this. I wouldn’t give her another goddamn minute.

She wasn’t in the small, open-plan living room, so I strode through and into the bedroom.Fuck. She was on her bed sobbing, her body shaking, crying hard.

I sat beside her and she startled. “Cupcake?”

She didn’t answer.

Fuck that. I pulled her into my arms, not sure what I was dealing with here but determined to find out. She stiffened, but I refused to let her go and turned her into me and held her tight.

“Talk to me, Addie,” I said against her ear. “Tell me what’s going on. Why do you keep running from me, baby?” My voice shook as well now. I was in love with this girl. I thought I knew why she shied away, why getting close to me scared her so badly, but I needed to hear it from her. Because if we didn’t talk about this, I couldn’t fight it whenever it reared up.

She pressed her forehead to my chest, her body trembling against mine. I tilted her head back, and I cupped her beautiful face, brushing away the tears streaking down her cheek.

“Can’t fucking handle your tears, cupcake. Can’t handle anything hurting you. You gotta talk to me, baby.” My fucking heart was cracking through the middle.

Another tear slipped free and I brushed that away as well.

“I can’t do this, Levi,” she whispered.

“Why?” I rasped.

“Because I…I’ve lost everyone I cared about,” she choked out. “The first night we slept together, I was spiraling after losing my aunt, and on top of that…it was the anniversary of losing my family. Macy had been all I h-had left. She raised me. Ever since I lost my family, I’ve struggled to get close to people, to let them in. But I wanted you, so I chased the feeling you gave me, like my aunt used to tell me to. Because tomorrow isn’t a guarantee, and I…I didn’t want to regret not being with you, at least once.”

Yeah, my girl had been spinning, and she’d been waiting for someone to stop her in her tracks. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

“I wanted you so badly. But every time we got close, this fear, right here”—she pressed her hand to her chest—“it had me running, because I knew…I knew I couldn’t be with you and not feel…more.” She shook her head. “And I was right. After that first night, I knew I’d messed up. It scared me enough that I avoided you. I know it’s silly. Iknowit is, and it probably doesn’t make sense to you. But when you’ve lost as many people as I have, when your heart feels broken and battered most of the time and you’ve lived with so much…god, so much grief, you d-don’t risk it.” She looked into my eyes. “I couldn’t…I can’t risk another heartbreak, Levi.”

She wasn’t going to give me all that and then let me go. That wasn’t happening. No fucking way. “I care about you, Addison. I want you. I want more than just a few nights.” Care didn’t cover it, but I got the feeling if I told her how I truly felt, she’d freak out even more.

Her lashes fluttered, and she squeezed her eyes closed.

“Look at me, Addison.”

She opened her eyes and a fresh batch of tears slid down her cheeks.

“Do you care about me? Do you want me too?”

Her lips trembled. “Yes.”

“Say it.”

Tags: Sherilee Gray Romance
Source: readsnovelonline.net