5

ADDIE

Manicand I chatted through dinner, keeping things light. Well, he kept it light. I forced myself not to stare into his eyes too long or at his mouth, and several times I had to contain a shiver when memories of our night together forced their way into my mind.

After eating, we headed to the bar, and Manic ordered us another drink. I got a beer this time. Who was I kidding? Never drinking again, especially this weekend? Wasn’t going to happen. Anything to help me through this trip.

I ate up the sight of him as he paid for the drinks. He had these smile lines at the corners of his eyes that only made him more handsome. Muscled and tall and inked, he stood out in a crowd. And he’d been getting a lot of looks from around the bar since we walked in. But what I wasn’t prepared for was some brazen chick rocking up to him, right in close, and introducing herself.

Manic smiled at her, polite, but didn’t look overly interested. Then she touched his arm and leaned in, pressing her boobs into his side. My hackles shot through the roof, and my mouth opened all on its own to tell her to back the hell off.

I slammed my mouth shut.

Nope.

I bit my lips together and rushed to the bathroom before I said something stupid.

Shutting myself in, I leaned over the sink and splashed water on my face, working at calming down. This was torture. Tonight. The last month. Being in the same freaking room with him.

This had been a spectacularly bad idea.

“Pull it together,” I said to my reflection.He is not yours. He never was.

We’d had some fun. He’s a free agent. We’re friends, like he’d saidseveraltimes. And while all of that was true, and that was all it ever could be between us, I still didn’t want to stand by while he picked up someone else right in front of me. Okay, maybe that wasn’t fair. She was the one who’d approached him, but still.

I hated it.

And honestly, I wasn’t sure I was cut out to be Manic’s friend, not when I knew what it was like to bewithhim, to have all that hunger, that dominance, focused on me—but I was stuck.

For the next few days, whether I liked it or not, I’d be playing the role of his girlfriend. My belly clenched and my palms grew sweaty. I didn’t want to see him with someone else. I felt too raw, my emotions too close to the surface.

Then suddenly, it was hard to breathe. My hands trembled and my heart raced. Oh god, I felt dizzy.

No. Please, no.

Why the hell was this happening now? I rushed to a stall and locked myself in. I didn’t know why this was happening. I hadn’t thought about my family or Macy. I gasped, sucking in a breath, then another.

Slamming my eyes closed, I tried to focus on something like I’d been taught to and worked at slowing my breathing. Carrot cake with cream cheese frosting was what popped into my mind first. I went through the motions in my mind, measuring out the ingredients carefully, mixing, lining the tin, putting it in the oven, and preparing the icing. Cream cheese frosting was my favorite.

Finally, my breathing slowed, and the shaking and dizziness stopped.

I pressed my forehead against the cool door. How had I gotten myself into this?

I needed to go back out there, but I needed air. I needed to clear my head.

I rushed from the bathroom and weaved my way through the crowd, not letting myself look over to where Manic had been.

There was a garden bar off the side, and I pushed through the door. Outdoor heaters were dotted around, but it was cold as hell, which was why I was the only one out here. I sucked in an icy breath and hugged myself. Why the hell did I have a panic attack? It made no sense.

The door opened, and I glanced over my shoulder. Manic walked out, brows lowered. He took me in from head to toe and frowned. “What’s going on? One minute you were there, the next you took off. I’ve been looking all over for you.”

“I needed the bathroom then thought I’d get some air. I’m fine,” I lied.

He saw right through me, of course. “No, you’re not. Did you think I was into that girl at the bar?”

“It’s none of my business. I thought you might not want me cramping your style, if you wanted to, um…you know. I didn’t want things to be awkward.” Understatement of the universe. I had to admit to myself that I had it bad for this guy. So much so, I’d somehow given myself a fucking panic attack just seeing him with someone else. It didn’t matter that I couldn’t have him, denial wasn’t going to work anymore. The feelings were still there, and I didn’t know what to do about it. “If you want to, I mean…if you want…”Goddammit. I couldn’t even get the words out. In fact, the idea of him with someone else made me feel physically ill.

“So you’re okay with me fucking some random while I’m here with you?” His voice was low as hell, and I had no hope of reading the expression on his face.

Tags: Sherilee Gray Romance
Source: readsnovelonline.net