“I have to!” I yell. “I owe him!”
“Again, I call bullshit, Ruby. You’re choosing to stay. Which means you’re choosing him over yourself.”
For the first time in a long time, I want to cry. I want Jax to understand that it’s not as easy as packing up and walking out of the door. Jax knows I’m trying to change things but I’m scared. Scared of what Dan would do to me and terrified that Dan is right—nobody else would want damaged goods.
Dan loves me.
“You don’t understand!” I yell. “I thought you understood.”
“I understand you might be fucking up Ruby Riot’s big break just because you’re a coward!”
My frustration matches his, but as usual, I have a harder time controlling mine. I shove Jax hard in the chest and he stumbles backward, banging his elbow on the wall. “Fuck you!” I yell.
“This looks familiar,” says a voice from below. Jem walks slowly up the narrow wooden stairs that lead down to the pub. “Musical differences or lover’s tiff?”
Jax makes a derisive sound and rubs his elbow. “There’s no way I’d get involved with Ruby.”
How much did Jem hear? He knows the truth about Dan because he’s witnessed it, but I want him on the edge of my personal life. Again, Jem gives me the look, the one I hate, the one with more understanding than Jax.
“She’s right. You don’t understand,” he says quietly to Jax.
“What the fuck do you know about my situation?” I snap at him but the address on the card he gave me already answers my question.
“I’m not blind, Ruby. And I know more about this shit than you realise.”
His admission silences me, but doesn’t quiet the adrenaline fuelling my system. I turn away and stomp back toward the stage.
“Come on!” I yell to Jax.
A couple of minutes later, the pair appears. I don’t know what Jem said to Jax but he gives me an apologetic smile before retrieving his guitar. I mouth ‘sorry about your elbow’ between verses in our first song. He winks and mouths back ‘no problem’.
Jem explained to Jax what I couldn’t. He understands.
Jem is getting too close.