The knife!
I turn over and reach for it, but he drags me by my hair, pain erupting at the roots. No, I need to reach it. My fingers graze the edge of the hilt. His hands are on my thighs, crushing them. He flips me over. At the last second, I grab the knife and stick him with the blade again and again and again. Bright red spatters everywhere, until I’m covered in it. Covered in him. He moans, but not with passion.
I’m killing him.
Breathing hard, I give him one final stab as the grief explodes inside my chest. And only then do I stop and cry until I have no more tears left inside me.
I learned later that Adrien sent that man into my room long after the drugs wore off. He said the fear froze me. I couldn’t blame nearly being raped on anything but me not reacting fast enough. The next time he sent someone into my room, they got as far as touching me before I knifed them. Until one guy knocked my head against the wall so hard, I almost passed out. After that, I didn’t even wait for them to come into my room. I stood behind the door, knife poised.
The only people who could have possibly tried to come into my room without me trying to kill them was the maid and my mother. But Rebecca never left her own room. And the maid was absolutely terrified of me.
Dante, when he returned after college, was the only one who showed me how to channel my anger.
He was tainted by my father just like me, but I sensed he wasn’t as broken.
I needed him back then.
Just like I need him now.
The wrench in my chest aches. It’s the same one I had when I was locked in that room, waiting for the men to come and hurt me. I don’t know how to make it go away without using a knife.
I walk up to the mirror and stare at my reflection until the intensity of staring makes my eyes water. I put everything inside me into those fake tears, trying to cry for once.
But nothing comes out.
Only knives work.
So, I take five of them and strap one to each thigh, and one to each forearm. And then I hide the last one in the small of my back. Then I get dressed in a black t-shirt and a leather skirt, with some black boots, and tie my hair up in a messy bun. Time to get Lily back and use my knives on anyone who tries to stop me. That’s the only thing I’m good for.
Someone knocks on my door, so I stay very still hoping they’ll go away. After a few minutes they do, and I breathe a sigh of relief.
I get my phone out and call the number Griffin gave me when I asked him for it. After a few minutes, Kristian answers.
“Kristian, it’s Viola,” I say.
“Well, hello, my love, did you miss me?”
“I have a new deal. One that you’ll like. But I need to speak to Lily first.”
“You don’t want much, do you?”
“Lily first,” I snap.
“Bossy little bitch,” he says. “Tell me about the deal, and then I’ll get Lily.”
I knew he’d bargain so I go ahead and explain my deal, and after a few seconds he passes the phone to Lily. She’s not with Griffin. That’s good. As much as Kristian is a sick fuck, he’s not into underage girls. That makes him the preferred partner in all of this.
Even if all I want to do is kill him.
“Cousin V!”
“Lily,” I say as soon as she comes on the phone. “Can Kristian hear you?”
“Er no,” she says. “The bastard is—”
“Don’t say anything but yes or no. Do you still have the Liquid E on you?”
“Yes,” she says.
“Then do exactly as I tell you.”