I fight the urge to be like her and roll my eyes. “It doesn’t work like that, Savvy.” She sighs and leaves the confines of our personal bubble to open her door. After she steps in, I follow and take in the scene before me. The windows are long and covered by gold curtains that would make Aunt Sue cringe, with dark red furniture set against stark white walls. Everything screams “do not touch” and I can picture my mother squeezing the crap out of my hand as we walk through a store where someone would buy all of this.
“Are you thirsty or hungry?” Savannah takes my bag and sets it down against the white wall, causing me to worry that I’m too dirty to be in this place. My farm clothes are going to soil everything if I’m not careful. Talk about being uncomfortable.
“I am, but that can all wait. I want to see you. Talk to you. Just even holding you right now would be enough.” I step to her, placing my hand on her hip. I let out a long exhale as I summon up the courage to ask the question that’s at the forefront of my mind. “Are you in love with that guy?”
Savannah falls into me, wrapping her arms around my waist. As much as I want to kiss her, I refuse. I have to know where her heart is, even if this is the last time I see her. Her fingers move into my hair, pushing my ball cap off my head. Internally, I cringe, thinking about it dirtying up the floor when it lands but Savannah doesn’t seem to care.
“No, I’m not,” she whispers as her lips hover dangerously close to mine. My fingers dig into her hips as I pull her body flush with mine. “I met him a week ago. He’s a Marine on leave and we’ve just been hanging out.”
“Why was he waiting for you?”
“To make sure I made it into my apartment safely.”
For some reason the words “my apartment” cause me to step back. Is she established already? Am I too late to change her mind? I move away from her to fully take in the place that she lives. That she’s calling home. It’s grand compared to the ranch and something I could never provide for her. It hits me like a ton of bricks just how opposite she and I are. I know from experience even love can’t overcome the desire to live a different lifestyle.
“Tyler, what’s wrong?”
“This,” I say as I spread my hands out. “I can’t compete with this.”
Savannah steps behind me and rests cheek against my shoulder. It’s a simple moment like this – when I realize how well we fit – that kills me knowing we likely won’t end up together. I can see it now, in five or ten years from now, she’ll come back and if we’re both single we’ll hook-up because the attraction is there, but I have a feeling that’s all we’ll end up being.
“Do you want to compete with it?”
Turning in her arms, I grab her face and bring our lips together. Our kiss starts off slowly and is nothing but lips until her hands pull my hair. I let Savannah lead. I let her dictate where this kiss is going. She whimpers as her tongue touches mine and her nails dig into my scalp. My mind is racing, battling with my heart as my hands roam over her body grasping to hold every inch of her.
She pulls away all too soon, leaving me aching for more. Her fingers move in and out of my hair as she labors her breathing, pressing her forehead to mine as she gives me a lingering kiss before sighing. “I’ve missed you so much.”
Those words are the ones I’ve been dying to hear, but didn’t realize how much they’d tear at my heart. I want to get down on bended knee and profess my love, but it’s too soon, and she has a lot of life to live before she’s tied down. Besides, I may not be enough. I want to be enough, though, and know I may need to change for her in order to accomplish that. Can I give up the ranch and be the man she wants me to be?
I’m not sure. The ranch is all I know. It’s all I’ve cared about for years. It’s in my blood and was once in hers.
“You have no idea how happy I am that you’re here.”
“Tell me,” I beg her. If she’s willing to open up, I’m more than willing to absorb everything she wants to tell me.
She takes my hand, stopping to pick up my hat. She places it on my head awkwardly but I don’t dare fix it. I steal a kiss before I bend over to pick up my suitcase and let her lead me wherever she’s taking me. I wonder if she knows that I’d follow her anywhere. Evident by the fact that I’m so out of my comfort zone, I feel like I’m having an out of body experience. I’m out of my element, yet so at ease as long as I’m with Savannah.
We walk down the hall and into her room. It’s vastly different from the living room, but still too fashionable for my tastes. Many different kinds of fabrics cover the walls and drape over the window. Soft, muted light flows through giving off a moonlight ambience.
“This is nice.”
She shrugs. ?
?It’s whatever. There’s something missing though.”
“What’s that?” I ask, as I set my bag and hat down. Her fingers trail up my arm, resting on my shoulders.
“You,” she whispers against my lips.
Savannah
Pinch me.
Pinch me again.
Pinch me again and again.
The boy… no he’s so much more than a boy... the man that makes my heart beat a little bit faster, who makes my palms sweat, who makes my skin tingle, is standing in my bedroom in Paris. If I didn’t know better, I’d say it’s a dream. But my dream wouldn’t include Zach coming back to shake Tyler’s hand. That’s how I knew Tyler was real. That’s how I knew he was here for me.