“A hundred,” Ruby says, excitedly.
“A hundred presents. Wow, that seems like a lot. What about the other children, are they getting a hundred too?”
“I dunno.”
“Do you need that many gifts?”
“Sure.”
Once I have the tree propped against my truck, I pick Ruby up and set her on the tailgate. I stay there, eye level with her. “I think you’ll get one present from Santa, just like last year.”
“Well, some kids in my class get hundreds from him.”
“Well, I don’t know what goes on in your friends’ houses, but at the Suttons’, we appreciate the one gift Santa brings us. Do you know why?”
She shakes her head.
“Because that means children who are less fortunate can receive presents too. If you and your classmates were to receive a hundred presents each, how many would that be?”
“A lot.”
“Do you think you need a lot of presents or would it be nice to share with other kids who may not get as much from their mommy and daddy?”
Ruby thinks about this for a moment. “I think I’d like to share.”
“That’s my girl.” I help her down from the truck, pick up the tree, and toss it over my shoulder, hoping that I’m not breaking any of the branches. Ruby leads the way, chatting about how she’s going to tell Santa that she only needs one present.
As soon as I step into the entryway, I feel instantly at home. It seems silly to say, but being gone for the past month and a half has really made me forget how wonderful it is to be here. I inhale deeply, trying to burn the sweet scent of this place into my memory so, when I’m back at my apartment and staring at the ceiling tonight, I can remember this moment and the other happy ones that are sure to come this evening.
“Rory?”
“Huh, what?”
Gwen is standing in the archway that separates the living room from the rest of the house. “I asked if you planned to come in with the tree or if you were going to stand there all night holding it.”
“Oh, sorry.” I don’t tell her I was caught up in the moment. I don’t want to add any pressure or make her feel guilty. The last thing I want is for her to shut down and go back into her shell. I finally made a breakthrough with her the other day and want to keep the progress going.
Gwen already has the tree stand set up, making it easy for me to plop the tree into the stand. “Can you hold it steady for me?” She does as I ask, while I drop down and tighten the screws on the base. “Is it straight?”
“Yes, it’s perfect.”
“Not yet, Mommy. It needs decorations!” Ruby yells from somewhere behind me.
I stand and brush some pine needles off my pants before making my way toward Gwen. “Yeah, Mommy. No tree is complete without lights, bulbs, daycare and school ornaments, and the Santa topper.”
I place my hands on her hips and her sharp intake of breath tells me that she likes what I’m doing. She steps closer, so close that I’d only have to lean forward slightly in order to kiss her, but I hold my ground. Part of me is scared. I’m not foolish enough to think, because I’m here, she’s ready to forget just yet.
“Everything’s in the totes. I brought them up from the basement already.” Her voice is quiet, her tell when she’s nervous. I’m going
to tone down the affection and maybe wait for her to approach me.
“I’ll string the lights and you …”
“… I’ll get the treats,” she says, finishing my sentence.
I watch her walk away before I turn back toward the living room and tree. Ruby is standing here with a wide grin on her face. I just shake my head, dig into the tote, and pull out the string of white lights that I wrapped up tightly last year.
Gwen returns with a tray of hot chocolate, cookies, and of course, the gingerbread that I’ve been craving. Once I have the lights strung, I stand back and watch the ladies get to work. They dance around each other, putting ornaments all over the tree. It doesn’t matter if our daughter clusters everything in one spot. Once she’s in bed, Gwen will make a few adjustments to even everything out.