I sigh and continue to move clos
er to her. “When I woke up, it took me a while to realize that what I experienced was only a dream. You and Ruby were there, but I wasn’t your husband or her father. We were people living in the same town, not knowing each other, and I hated it. I felt empty and lost. Much like I feel now.”
Gwen clears her throat and looks at me from over her shoulder. Makeup is smeared and running down her face, and her eyes are bloodshot. Everything in me says I need to reach for her, to pull her into my arms, to tell her I’m in love with her and will do what I can to make things right.
“I was hoping we could talk later,” I say to her as my hand rests casually on her hip, but to me, there’s nothing casual about touching the woman I love. I’m ready to spill my guts, to tell her how I feel.
She shakes her head.
Fine. I’ll talk to her back if I have to. I have nothing to lose. “The other night, I don’t know what happened, but it was like a veil was lifted and I could see clearly. Except I’m standing on the outside of this bubble, watching as my life goes by. When I see you and Ruby, you’re there, but I can’t touch either of you, and you can’t hear me calling out your names. Then there’s this moment when I think you can hear me, and you look in my direction, and you’re nothing like the woman I love. Your spirit is dim, the natural glow you carry is gone, and the sparkle in your eyes doesn’t exist. When I see you, I know I did that to you, that I ruined our family. I know this now, Gwen, and I hate that it’s taken me years to figure this out. What I thought I was doing, working to provide the best life for you both, was nothing more than me alienating myself from the people I love.”
She turns as I start to close the gap between us. Without hesitation, I pull her into my arms. She’s rigid, which is understandable. With my arms wrapped around her, I breathe her in, trying to memorize the smell of her perfume because I’m going to need it to make it through the night.
“I don’t know, Rory.”
“I know. All I’m asking for is a chance, and if I can’t prove to you that I’m worthy of your love, as your husband, we’ll do things your way.”
“It’s not just about love. I want an equal partner. I want my husband, the father of my daughter, to make his family a priority.”
“I will.”
Gwen breaks eye contact and stares off. I wish I could see inside her mind to know what she’s thinking. She turns back, and her eyes narrow. “You said you were here while we were decorating cookies.”
I nod. “Outside, but yes.”
“What about Jerry?”
Instead of loosening my grip on her, I tighten my arms and look deep into her eyes. “I didn’t go to his party. The next morning, he called, and I told him that things have to change and that once five o’clock hits, I’m done for the day. I let him know that I can no longer take his calls in the middle of the night or on weekends, and from this point forward, I’ll treat him like he’s one of my normal clients.”
“And?” She lifts her eyebrow.
“And … he wasn’t happy.” I shrug. “I don’t know how things are going to be after the New Year, and frankly, I don’t care. You were right, like always,” I tease. “He takes up a lot of unnecessary time, which takes away from my duties at home as your husband and Ruby’s father. Something had to give, and for me, it couldn’t be you.”
“Maybe you’d like to come with Ruby and me when we pick out our Christmas tree tomorrow?”
“I would love to.” I think about kissing her on the nose but refrain. Right now, I’d really like a sprig of mistletoe to appear, because I could use all the help I could get. I look up, hoping, but nothing happens. Maybe next time.
Chapter Six
Gwen
I shoulder my bag and hold on to the strap tightly as I rush across the street toward the clothing store. The ground is slick with a combination of slush, freshly falling snow, and salt to try to melt the ice.
My first stop, though, is the coffee shop. I’ve had a craving for their peppermint mocha since I woke this morning, and thankfully there isn’t a line. With the warm cup nestled between my hands, I bring it to my face and inhale the wintery scent, but before I can take a sip, my eyes land on the homeless man my daughter has befriended. Gabe’s standing under the awning of a store a few doors down with a cup in his hand. I can’t tell from here if he’s asking anyone for change or if he’s just holding it out, hoping someone will be kind enough to drop a few coins in there for him.
“I’d like another cup,” I say to the barista. “And a small assortment of your pastries.”
“Sure thing,” the young girl says. Within minutes, I’m juggling two cups and a bag of freshly made goodies, which are causing my stomach to growl.
“Hello.” I stop in front of the man. He smiles and continues to shake his cup as people walk by, and much to my surprise, he’s wishing them a Merry Christmas even though they’re ignoring him. “How are you, Gabe?”
“I’m well, ma’am.”
I smile at his politeness and hold out the extra coffee and bag of sweet treats. “These are for you.” He looks at me and then to the bag. I can sense some hesitation, and it saddens me. Surely, he’s hungry and would want the food. He wasn’t like this the other night, and it makes me wonder if someone in town has said something to him.
“Thank you. You didn’t have to do this.” He opens the bag immediately and if I’m not mistaken, inhales deeply.
“I know, but my daughter thinks of you as her friend, and I’d like to … Well I don’t know what I’d like right now.”