“I care about her, Nancy. Being with her is like coming home. I don’t know how else to explain it. Everything just feels more real and more special when I get to share it with her,” I said.
“Dammit, Jensen. Her father is poisonous. He’ll drag her down, and you with them. Think of everything Ronnie wanted for you and make the sensible choice,” she argued.
Her jab about Ronnie hit home, but I knew in my heart what he would do. “The last thing I ever want to do is disappoint you. But who would I be now if people judged me by the things my useless father has done? Lauren’s been dealt about as bad a hand as you can get in life, and she’s made the best of it. And what’s more, I had Ronnie to help me get my head above water. Lauren has no one. Sometimes you just know when something is right. Ronnie knew it too. Otherwise he wouldn’t have gone after you, even though your family disapproved,” I reasoned.
The silence between us was awkward. It was probably the most difficult day of Nancy’s life, and I regretted causing her even a moment of upset, but what I’d said needed saying. If there was now a rift between us, I had no idea how to bridge it. In the end, Nancy did it for me.
“Oh, Jensen, you must think I’m an interfering old woman. I hope you know that everything I’ve said and done has been with your best interests at heart. But you’re right. Ronnie would’ve told you to go get your girl. So I’m going to mind my own business from now on and let you listen to your heart,” she said, and I felt like at least one weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
“I don’t think that at all. I know you’re only looking out for me, and I appreciate it. But it goes both ways you know. Ronnie would want us to look out for each other. So if there’s anything you need, anything I can ever do to help, all you ever have to do is call,” I replied.
“Thank you, Jensen. You’re a good man,” she said. “I have no idea how you two are going to work things out, but if Ronnie taught me anything, it’s that love will always find a way.”
Chapter Fifteen
Lauren
He’d seen it all less than a week ago: my face, lightly made up with cheap cosmetics, my body in my one and only, date-suitable, thrift store dress—he’d seen it all and still Jensen looked at me as though I was a tall glass of water in the middle of a drought. I smoothed down the front of the dress nervously while he looked his fill, biting my tongue to stop myself from making excuses about why I was wearing the same outfit twice. There was no need. He knew my circumstances, and the way he looked at me gave me the confidence to believe that he didn’t care. That nobody would look at me, standing next to this giant god of a man, and find me unworthy.
“You’re absolutely breathtaking,” he murmured, almost to himself.
I gave him a wobbly smile as I tried to keep it together. My whole plan—to handle his leaving with sophistication and dignity before crying myself to sleep the moment he’d gone—was unraveling at the seams. I didn’t care that it was Christmas Eve tomorrow. Jensen was leaving, and tonight was the good-bye I’d never be ready for. “I’m not ready to lose you, Jensen. So let’s make tonight the best night ever and deal with tomorrow when it gets here,” I suggested.
“Lauren Matthews,” he said, taking my coat and holding it out for me to put on. “I’m going to give you a night so great, you’re never going to want to let me go,” he replied, and taking my hand he led me into the crisp, cool night.
As we walked up to the community center, the magic of the evening began to weave its spell on me. From the Christmas songs that had me itching to dance, to the light snow on the ground and the delicious scents of mulled wine and spiced apple permeating the air, all of it painted the picture of a Christmas I’d never had but had craved so very badly.
Inside, Jensen took my coat and added to the pile by the door. “Dancing first, or a drink?” he asked.
“Most definitely dancing,” I replied with a grin. If I had any excuse to have his arms around me that night, I was taking it.
“I was afraid you’d say that,” he said as he took my hand and pulled me toward the dance floor. It was already full of people from over-excited children bopping enthusiastically to elderly couples waltzing their way around the room.
At the realization that half the town seemed to be there, I had a moment of self-doubt. I feared getting the cold shoulder from a community so close that everyone seemed to know everyone else. But the derision and suspicion I expected never came. As we joined in the party, people were all smiles and happiness, saying hello or nodding their approval as we shared in their joy of the moment.
The last of my self-doubt drifted away when I realized two things. The first was that Jensen simply didn’t care what other people thought of him. He lived his life the way he wanted to and didn’t look for the approval of others to validate his choices. He was a good person, the very best, and being around him had made me a stronger person. The second was that he was a horrible, horrible dancer.
“What?” he asked, having caught the confused look on my face.
“What is it that you’re doing there?” I said.
“Dancing,” he explained, a frown marring his face as though it was completely obvious.
“Oh,” I replied, my face a mask of seriousness, “I was worried for a minute you might be having some kind of seizure.”
“Ha! You can talk! I’ve seen pensioners on this dance floor that have more moves than you. Now come on, baby, let’s show ’em what we’ve got.” He pulled me into his arms and swung me around the dance floor, much to the amusement of everyone around us. When I couldn’t take any more, we escaped to a dark corner where we sipped our drinks and shared our secrets. He told me all about his friends on the team, and I shared stories of some of the places I’d been and the places I still wanted to see.
“If you could travel anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?”
“Rome,” I said without having to think about it.
“It’s a beautiful city, but why Rome?”
“My mom loved it there. My grandmother took her when she was little,” I said. Lifting a little gold cross from where it had slipped inside my dress, I held it up to him. “She bought her this while they were there. It’s the only thing I have left of hers really. Dad sold anything of value and left everything else when we were running from one of his cons.”
“What happened to them both?” he asked gently, the sympathy in his gentle tone spoke of his perceptiveness.
“My grandmother died of cancer about a year after their trip. There was some money the court looked after until mom came of age, but she didn’t have any other relatives, so she ended up in a foster home. I never heard the full story of how she and Dad met, but my guess is that she was looking for someone to love, and he told her what she wanted to hear so he could get his hands on her money. By the time it ran out, Dad had a wife and kid he didn’t want. I think he would’ve walked out if Mom hadn’t been hit by a car. After that he was kind of stuck with me.”