I thought a moment, feeling guilty. I started into the house,
"And I hope you like the bathing suit," he cried. smiling. "It's hot."
The breeze lifted his bangs. He stood back with his hands on the railing, looking like a male model ready to be photographed. He was as seductive as the devil. I thought. I really couldn't blame Mommy. In a very dark time in her life he came soaring through like a comet and brightened her skies, and yes, her face, rejuvenating her heart.
What would he do to mine?
17
A Taste of What's to Come
.
Everything Mommy bought me was beautiful,
and it all fit perfectly. She made me model it all, parade before her, and although she didn't come right out and say it the implication was clear: These are clothes to be worn on dates or at parties. They are not clothes to be left hanging like unpicked fruit left to rot from neglect. I did not deny I was pleased with it all. No matter how deeply I had withdrawn into my own little world. I still enjoyed looking nice, even if it was only for the sea gulls.
The bathing suit Kirby had chosen for me, however, was far more revealing than anything I had bought for myself or Mommy had bought for me. It was practically a thong, the cut was so sharp, and the top, although it wasn't exactly a bikini top, was shaped in such a way as to leave most of my breasts exposed. I started to complain.
"In the Virgin Islands all the young women who had figures that could be flattered were wearing suits like that. Grace. It's the latest style."
"Not for me," I said, taking it off.
"How did I bring up such a prude?" she quipped. "You look beautiful in it. Grace. You should be proud of your figure, not ashamed of it. Believe me, there are thousands of women who wish they looked like you and wish they could wear that suit."
"Tell them to come and get it," I said. She groaned,. "Please don't tell Kirby you hate it," she said. "He was so excited about buying something for you."
"Really?" I raised my eyebrows. "He truly bought it?"
"Yes."
"With his own money?" I followed.
She shifted her eyes away guiltily. "We don't think in those terms anymore, Grace. When a man and a woman marry, they should be as one. What's his is mine, and what's mine is his."
"I don't mind that, but was there anything that was his?" I pursued.
"Grace, you're being unnecessarily unpleasant." she snapped back at me. "We're both trying our best to please you. Can't you see that? Have I been such a horrible mother to you? Do I deserve this?"
"I'm not saying anything like that." I told her, but she held the painful look on her face. "I just don't want you to be unhappy."
"Me?" She laughed, "I couldn't be much happier. I was very depressed, but don't you see how he's brought a new vibrancy into our lives? We'll show these Palm Beach care families that they can't get us dawn."
"All right, Mommy," I said. I was tired of arguing about all that. She was fixated on it, and that was that.
"Just try to be a little more... pleasant. That's all I ask." she said softly, and brushed some hair off my face with her hand. Then she kissed me on the forehead.
"You're so beautiful and intelligent. Grace. It breaks my heart to see you depressed and unhappy and especially insecure about yourself. That's why you threw off that bathing suit, you know. You just don't have a good self-image, and there's no reason for you not to." She held the suit up against her own body and wiggled. "If you have it, flaunt it. I say."
I couldn't help but laugh.
She smiled. "Go on, take it, wear it." she said, holding it out toward me. "Would I advise you to do something that wasn't good for you to do? Can't you just try, Grace?"
She waited. I shook my head. but I took the suit. "Okay, Mommy, I'll try." I promised, and she clapped her hands.
"That's wonderful. Grace. That's all I hope for," she said, and hugged me.
Later that evening the three of us did have a nice dinner together. She and Kirby were like a comedy team, reviewing their honeymoon, relating some of the funnier things that they did or that happened to them. Mommy's laugh was free and innocent, and her eyes sparkled with such pleasure she looked as if she had shed years, certainly years of sadness.