First, I want you to know that your mom and I love you so much. Your mom has had an extremely hard time dealing with losing you. We were both scared, but she wanted you so much. Losing you broke her heart and in turn, broke mine.
There is no doubt in my mind that Emily would be a fantastic mother. Sure, she doubts herself sometimes, but she would make sure you were taken care of and that you knew she loved you with everything that she is. I would make sure that you knew that we both love you.
One thing for sure, is that you would be a hockey baby. Hockey is such a big part of my life and I would love to make it a part of yours. I can hear your mother crying in the next room as she writes a letter to you as well. Never will I tire of rescuing her and being her strength when she needs it.
Your mother, although she worries about it, would have been a great mom. She would shower you with love constantly. Hell, heck, she did that while you were within her.
The only thing I want you to take away from this letter is that your mom and I love you. We would have cherished every day with you. You truly would have been a gift. You still were. I'm thankful for your presence. Like I said, we were scared, but your mom was beyond excited. I was terrified.
Terrified that I wouldn't be a good father. I'm young. I don't know if I could take care of a baby. For your mother, though, I would damn sure try.
Your mother means everything to me. You meant everything to her and in turn meant everything to me. I wish we wouldn't have lost you. Your mom and I wouldn't be crying otherwise. I would have loved being able to watch your mother with you and to introduce you to hockey. I'm sure your mom would convert you to a Penguins fan. I would be okay with that because I know that would make her happy.
I'm sorry, but I must go. Your mother needs me.
Love,
Dad
With Emily in my arms, I hold her close. Her lips move against my chest, telling me that she loves me.
“I love you too, Sweetness.”
Knowing her, she isn't ready to let me go yet. I hold on to her and wait until she is ready. The smell of strawberry shampoo fills my senses, and Emily's frame fits snugly against me.
“What color balloon did you get?” I whisper into her hair.
“Yellow. Neutral color, you know,” she says. Leaving my arms empty, she walks over to where a bag is sitting on the counter. She reaches inside and pulls out one yellow balloon. I watch as she begins to blow it up. Once it is a considerable size, she ties the knot and adds a string. Emily grabs her let
ter, places it in a plastic bag, takes a pen, and pokes a hole in the bag.
With an expectant hand waiting for my letter, I hand it over. She drops it in the bag and places the string through the hole and ties a knot. Emily walks pass me, and I follow her outside onto the front steps. She takes my hand and looks up to the sky.
A lone tear falls. We both hold onto the bag and after a minute or so, I count aloud.
“One, two, three.”
The balloon floats upwards and Sweetness wraps her arms around me, watching as it rises higher and higher. I take a deep breath, and we watch the balloon disappear from sight. Sweetness looks up at me.
"Are you ready to pack and head home?"
Right. There is still something left to tell her. "I decided that I'm going to stay here until I leave. There's not much sense in going home only to have to come back in a week for my flight."
Oh, her lips form. She leaves my side and walks inside without me. Of course, I follow her. She has disappeared into the bedroom.
"What are you doing?" I call out upon hearing her scrummaging around.
"Packing," she replies as if it's obvious.
"Aren't you going to stay here with me?"
Silence echoes throughout the air since she has stopped moving. I can picture her thinking it through in her mind, and I take this opportunity to say, "You know, we could just pretend we are away at the cabin." The silence stomps around for a few seconds more.
"Let me text Dad and I'll be in there in a few."
Smiling victoriously, I go to the couch where I am sitting up with my legs stretched out. Just as she said, she appears a few seconds later. Sweetness takes a seat between my legs and leans into me. Automatically, my arms encase her. Sitting here like this, I know that these are the moments that I hold dear to my heart. There is nothing in the world that can put me through a bad enough hell for me to wish my life with Sweetness never happened. Through the good and the bad, every moment is one that I hold close.
There will be times that I can't stand some features Sweetness has, but those are attributes that make Emily my Sweetness, and I wouldn't trade them for anything. I love every single detail that makes her mine. The day that Sweetness was sick, the day I knew I loved her, was also the day I knew that I would marry her. Sometimes, I wish that I could get down on one knee and ask her. The day that Sweetness becomes my wife will be the highlight of my life. My life will be complete.