The sex between us had been different to anything I’d ever had.
It’d been fierce and intense but also languid and soft.
I felt both satisfied and complete instead of punished and empty.
Coming inside her had been the hardest part. The ricochet of pleasure had boomeranged back on me, making me blind. Images of my family came and went. Memories that no longer held me prisoner but chose that moment to show me just how different my life was now.
Just how lucky I was to have found happiness.
Fuck...in that rhythmic clenching of my release, I’d been happy for the first time in my life. I’d been blissful. I’d become addicted to it in a single second, fumbling to hold onto Gem as my ears rang, my head throbbed, and my body threatened to shut down like before.
But Gem’s sharp inhale, the tang of her fear as she waited for me to drop unconscious on top of her—possibly to wake up with no memory of this incredible milestone we’d shared—kept me awake.
I used everything I had.
I denied my headache.
I refused the nightmares.
And I stayed.
I...stayed.
Glancing down, I ran my fingers over my naked midriff. My fingers danced over silver scars and age-smoothed wounds, so fucking grateful that Jareth had found the key to Parable. Finally, it was off. Finally, Gemma was free, and...I’m free.
Truly free this time.
Free in my mind as well as my body.
Gemma interrupted my epiphanies as she tossed off the blankets and climbed out of bed. The flash of her naked skin, rosy nipples, and stunningly crafted body made me hard all over again.
“You’re so beautiful,” I whispered, dropping my hands to the blankets in my lap. My fingers itched to touch her and myself. Christ, I couldn’t describe how it’d felt touching myself. Skin to skin. Bringing pleasure instead of horror.
I’d tried to make myself come while looking down at her. I’d had full intentions of giving her a release, then granting her a pearl necklace, but the longer I kept stroking, the more I’d struggled to ignore the howls, screeches, and commands inside my head.
I’d gone as far as I could.
I still had a long way to go.
But tonight had been...good.
Gemma had been safe, I’d been happy, and Jareth...well, he’d been the reason I’d had the balls to do any of it.
Having him in the house allowed me to push the boundaries I’d put inside my head. I trusted him to keep me in line if I passed out and didn’t remember. I knew he’d protect Gem from me because he knew how much she meant to me.
Gem cleared her throat, her eyes drinking in my nakedness as I pushed away the blanket and stood, joining her on the other side of the bed. I glanced back at the same mattress where my blood had been smeared and my screams had been enjoyed, shuddering as ghosts came and went.
“That’s it, Kas, beg while we cut—”
Gritting my teeth, I pushed the memory away. I didn’t shut it down. I didn’t swallow it deep. I just...shoved it away. It might come back to haunt me at a different time. It was free to come and go as it wanted, but for now, it vanished and left me in peace.
“You okay?” she asked gently, touching my elbow with kind fingers.
I nodded. “I will be.”
She smiled. “Do you think we should go and make sure Jareth isn’t eating all our supplies?”
I grinned. “My thoughts exactly.”
She laughed under her breath. “Do you mind if I take a quick shower first?”
“Of course.” I took her hand. “I’ll join you.”
“Oh?” Her eyebrows rose, a glint sparkling in her gaze. “Round two?”
“As much as I want to take you up on that offer, I don’t know if I’d be able to stay with you a second time.”
She flinched a little in commiseration. “Was it hard? Fighting your body’s reaction to shut down?”
“It was.” I licked my bottom lip. “But it was also easy because I had you to focus on.”
“And the bourbon probably helped.”
I chuckled. “A few drinks probably helped me jerk off, but it was you who kept me present and not lost in my mind.”
“I hope you don’t find this condescending, but...I’m proud of you.” She blushed. “I’m beginning to think you were right. That all it takes is a choice.”
I shrugged. “I don’t know if it’s truly that simple, but for tonight...I feel like I’ve won against something I’ve been fighting against for a very long time. I didn’t have a reason to choose before, but now I do. I can’t promise I won’t have setbacks, and I’m almost positive I still have a shit ton of healing to do, but...no matter how bad it gets, I promise I will always choose to keep trying. I’m done being trapped. I no longer want to give up.”