“That bad, huh?” I asked.
Luca didn’t respond. He sat there, staring at an unspecified spot on his desk. As if he’d been struck by an invisible smack, he popped back up and smiled at me. “So, when are you taking her out again?”
He completely avoided the subject, and I didn’t go back to it. “Yeah, so that’s the thing. I am not going to get to go out with her again because we have a big problem.”
Luca’s expression of faux-amusement twisted into one of confusion. “What’s that?”
“I ended up spending the night with her and—”
“Little Gabe!” Luca’s amusement was back. “There you go, buddy!”
It was hard not to get sucked into his excitement, not just because sleeping with Stacy felt like winning the lottery, but because I couldn’t remember a time when I actually enjoyed a conversation with my eldest brother. Things were serious, though, and needed dealing with. I had to stay focused.
“Yeah, well, it was nice while it lasted,” I said, and Luca’s expression faded again. “We were just about to have breakfast, and she has me flick through Netflix, and I scroll across this documentary series about mobsters, and guess who’s this week’s starring family?”
Luca’s eyes grew wide with fear. “No.”
“You’re famous, brother.”
Luca’s head dropped. “Are you fucking serious?” His head shot up. “What did they say? Was there any solid information?”
“We only got through the trailer before she kicked me out, but they mentioned the fire, Mol being kidnapped, and the shit from California.”
Luca’s jaw dropped. “None of that shit is supposed to be public information.”
“Worse,” I said. “They’re completely twisting it. They made it seem like Marco started the fire, you kidnapped Molly, and that the California shootout was Alessandro targeting innocents.” I scoffed again, remembering the account of me. “And I’m the most dangerous of all of you. Mysterious and always in the shadows, getting away with more than anyone.”
Luca cracked his neck. “Fuck.”
“I know that you’re the boss, but—”
Luca held up a hand. “Whatever you can do to help, please do it.”
“We can’t pour all of our energy into trying to find how this info got out. We’ve been tapped for a while now, probably by multiple people. We need to just button up. Nothing outside the seven of us.”
Luca tilted his head. “Seven?”
“Yeah, us and the girls,” I replied and then remembered one other person. “Sorry, eight, Ricky.” I thought about Stacy and wished desperately that she could be one of them. “Listen, um. This chick I met. You and I have been talking about getting out, and—”
Luca shook his head. “I’m sorry, Gabe. I know, it might help to say it to her, but our reputation is probably the only thing keeping the Binachis from lighting us up again. We’ve gotten soft, and that’s how this information got out. We have to let people continue to think that we’re the same, ruthless people we’ve always been. That documentary actually helps us.” Luca must have noticed my disappointment because his voice softened when he spoke again. “I’m sorry. I know we all have someone and, it feels like you don’t, but trust me, sometimes, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. You have three brothers who will tell you that.”
I didn’t believe him. I wasn’t sure what he had or hadn’t heard about Marco and Kelly, but the brothers I knew loved their partners down to the marrow in their bones. Relationships in our world are hard, but not impossible. If I didn’t believe in that, then I was going to slip right into the same, dark hole that had swallowed Alessandro up and spit out his worst self. Maybe it wouldn’t be Stacy, and god that hurt more than anything, but I had to believe that one day, I could find happiness; we all could.
“I won’t say anything,” I assured.
“Thanks.” He looked straight into my eyes, and it sent a wave of chills over me. “I know what it’s like to want to do anything for her and not be able to.”
The sadness that hovered around Luca was further proof that I needed to expedite getting him and Molly out for a vacation. I also had to sort out how that would work. If I invited Alessandro back into this world, he might never leave again, but if I called on Marco only, and not him, I could lose the only brother who’d ever tried his hardest to love me the way my father asked him to. I could start with a phone call to Marco, at least, and if nothing else, maybe he’d be able to glean some insight.
Luca cleared the silence between us by leaning back in his chair and folding his hands on top of his desk—business Luca. It was time to get down to brass tacks. “All right, look. You’re right. We can’t sink a bunch of energy into trying to find moles. Information stays in the inner family, no exception. We also need to put some energy into building up our defenses. Without Alessandro and Marco, we need some additional manpower.”
My eyes cast quickly to a manilla folder on his desk and then back up to Luca. He said, “I’ll take care of this.”
I shook my head. “What is it?”
“It’s okay. It’s not for you.”
“Let me do it,” I demanded.