“But you know what the difference between then and now is?” I told him, making myself look at him no matter how ashamed of my past I felt. “Now I know how it feels to be with you. How it feels to experience moments of joy and love and passion. If you want to take responsibility for something, take it for that. Because despite everything that’s happened, you’ve made me happier than I’ve ever been.”
I waited, apprehensive about how he’d take this new information. I hadn’t told him about all that not only because it was my own cross to bear, but also because I didn’t know if he’d accept that he’d fallen in love with a woman who’d once been a whore.
I knew most men wouldn’t consider a woman who’d done such a thing as relationship material, and certainly not mother material. They’d think of that behavior as unacceptable and disgusting. Contemptible, even.
But instead of storming away as if repulsed, Luca twined his arms around me, holding me close. “Christ, Molly, I’m so sorry you went through all that.”
Relief, wild and dazzling flowed through me. I leaned into him, letting him give me comfort. I was immensely lucky that Luca Varasso was not most men.
After passing several minutes like that, he said, “You’re unlike any woman I’ve ever met, you know? Hell, unlike any person I’ve ever met. You’re more courageous than anyone I know, including me.” He then scooted onto my bed as he gently lifted me up, and even more gently sat me in his lap. “It’s just… I almost lost you.”
“You didn’t, though,” I said, laying my head on his chest. “Bad things happened to me long before I met you, curse or no curse. But being afraid of what might go down will just keep you from living the way you want. I don’t want to live that way. In fear. Life’s short enough without looking over our shoulders waiting for some curse to strike. Don’t you think?”
He chuckled, and it felt the vibration of it rumble through me. “You make some pretty solid points.”
“I’m smarter than your average bear. Or at least more smart-assed,” I grinned up at him, and he laughed outright.
“True on both counts.”
“So, you going to tell me what’s going on?”
“Who am I to say no to Queen Molly?” And then, he did.
He told me about trying to determine who shot me and why. About him and his brothers suspecting that there was a mole somewhere in their organization. About them not catching on or seeing any evidence of that mole in time to anticipate their next move. About how they’d been collecting surveillance data through drones, and about how they’d found proof that someone had been monitoring activities within the mansion.
“Someone’s been watching us?” I asked him, astounded to hear this. Who would dare infringe on the privacy of the powerful Varasso family?
“Yes.”
I suppressed a shiver of discomfort. Knowing we’d all been observed in a location I’d thought of as my home gave me the creeps. “What did they see?”
He shook his head, glowering. “We’re not certain of the extent of the footage, but the cameras we’ve located so far were spying on the hallway running along the second floor and the gym.”
The gym. The place where this baby had been conceived. Had this mole been watching for long enough to see what happened between Luca and me that night? Suddenly, I felt exposed, like I’d been laid out naked for public viewing. I tightened my arms around him. Where else had they situated cameras? In the bedrooms? In the showers?
And what were they doing with the clips they captured? I imagined them posting Luca making love to me on the internet like some lurid sex tape.
God.
Or even worse, were they planning on taking this information to the police? Lots of business was discussed in the Varasso home. Hell, the headquarters they operated out of was on the third floor. If whoever this was collected enough concrete proof, they could put all of us away for a long time. Probably permanently.
The horror of what I was contemplating must’ve shown on my face because Luca released a sigh. He laid a protective hand over my belly and whispered in my ear, “This is why I didn’t want you to know. Just because you’re tough as nails doesn’t mean I like to see you upset.”
I realized that Luca had done what he had to save me from additional stress. But I could be strong, stress or no stress. And I would be.
“How close are we to finding whoever this is?” I asked him, rubbing his hand with my own. I’d never been the type to seek comfort from a man in this way. I’d never been able to depend on anyone but myself, but now I knew I could also depend on him.
“Not close enough for my liking, but that’s what we’ve been focused on,” he said.
I looked into his face and saw his fury and resolve. I knew he’d do anything, including using his considerable power and resources, to track this mother fucker down. Luca would do whatever was necessary to protect our burgeoning family from those who would harm us.
And so would I.
35
Luca
On the day before Molly’s release, it occurred to me that even though we’d declared ourselves and been totally truthful with one another, I hadn’t broached the most important subject of all.