“My bed. I tried the other one, but it’s too hard.” I treaded up to him, step by step, taking my time as if approaching a wild animal. He kind of looked like one, to be fair. “What I need is one that’s just right.”
He blinked, then cast me a probing look as he put two and two together. “Goldilocks? Really?”
Seeing him like this reminded me of our night together. It hadn’t been that long ago, but it felt like an eternity. I didn’t know what had caused this distance between us. I didn’t know why he’d seemed to change his mind about me for no reason, but I’d decided I wanted to have a say in the matter.
And I was going to have that say right now.
If nothing else, I felt I deserved an explanation.
I came to a halt about a foot away from him, within reach but not physically touching. In my haste to get downstairs earlier, I’d thrown on nothing but my robe. I opened the sash now, letting the robe fall off my shoulders to drop in a pool of white terry cloth, watching Luca’s reaction.
And I definitely got one.
He ogled my naked form, his face so filled with desire I was astonished I didn’t burst into sky-high flames. Okay, so he still wanted me. That much was more than apparent. Why had he pushed me away then?
“Molly…” His breathing accelerated and his voice sounded strained, even though he’d quit working out.
I reached forward, pressing a finger to the indentation between his pectoral muscles. He froze and I watched as the pulse at his neck visibly quickened. “I don’t know if it was something I did or something I didn’t do, but I’d appreciate it if you’d let me in on it.”
“In on it?” he repeated, seemingly stunned, or possibly struck dumb. It made me feel feminine and empowered, like some mythical goddess.
Feeling a little bad for rendering him almost speechless, I relented. “I want to know why you’re avoiding me, Luca.”
As if my mention of his name had snapped him out of a trance or something, his expression cleared and he took a step backwards. “Because I can’t be with you.”
“Why not?”
He squeezed his eyes closed. “Just trust me, I can’t.”
“Why not?” I repeated, this time in a whisper. But this had the opposite effect of what I intended.
“Dammit, Molly, get out of here!” he bellowed out, his tone furious, and it might’ve been enough to scare me off had it not been for one thing. His eyes. Those dark eyes of his didn’t look angry, they looked miserable. Tormented, even.
It caused me to stand my ground. “Why do you keep doing this? We had this wonderful night together—the best night I’ve ever had with anybody—but then it was like it never happened. And now, we barely talk to one another. I don’t get to see Anna anymore.” He tore his gaze away again, and I called him on it. “You won’t even meet my eye.”
“You don’t understand what’s going on here.” He’d lowered his voice as if afraid to wake everyone up, making it sound more like a hiss. Like he was in pain.
“Then make me understand.” He shook his head at me, and I lost it. I’d had enough. “Goddammit, Luca Varasso, you’re the biggest mother fucking mafia crime boss in all of Philadelphia and the least you can do is look at me!” I raised my hand in a moment of utter insanity, ready to slap him across the face as hard as I could.
But then he caught me by the wrist, his expression going so dark that this time I really did feel afraid. In fact, I felt terrified. I’d pushed him too far and now I would pay the price. Moments from my recent dream and my long-ago childhood reared their ugly heads, and I flinched, ducking down to avoid the anticipated blow.
Yet that blow never came. Instead, his mouth covered mine with so much fervor that it stole my breath away. His arms wrapped around me like a vice, crushing me to him, and I whimpered with the dual sensations of relief and anticipation. Blood pounded in my ears, but all I could feel was his hard muscles against the softness of my curves.
No longer frightened, I fell with him onto the mats covering the hardwood floor, our kisses and touches so impassioned that I lost track of what I’d intended to do and the questions I’d planned to ask. All that mattered was that the distance he’d placed between us had vanished.
Nothing stood between us. Not anymore.
As he held my face in his hands and gazed into my eyes, I had no doubt that everything would now be okay. He’s chosen to be with me after all. And he was. In every way possible.
I nearly cried at the power of it.
Then he rolled my body beneath his, and I reveled in the euphoria of him taking me exactly where I needed to go.
18
Luca
Not once had I wrecked my own life as completely as I had in this moment. Before, events had transpired that I’d had no control over. I hadn’t been able to keep my mother out of that car accident. I hadn’t gotten upstairs in enough time to stop Donovan Bianchi from gunning down my father in his own home.