In the bedroom, he shuts the door and slowly pulls his shirt off. His toned chest is against me, pressing me between him and the door, and I’m shivering by the time his hands reach under my dress.
“I have been waiting for this for so long,” he whispers, lifting me in his arms and setting me on the plush mattress. But the moment my skirt rides up my thighs, I see it in his eyes—pity.
Embarrassment blooms on my face, the heat of it surely making my cheeks bright red. He doesn’t say anything for a long while, then looks up at me.
“Sorry, darling, I don’t fuck freaks.” He chuckles so loudly that it seems to be in surround sound, booming around me, like the music did downstairs. My cheeks burn, my eyes sting with tears as shame fills me. Xavier grabs his shirt and saunters from the room, leaving me curled on the bed, as tears spill from my eyes.
I don’t know how long I lie there, but when I finally find myself in a bathroom, I close my eyes as I find my release of the shame with a blade I found, conveniently waiting for me in one of the cabinets. The cut is deeper than normal, but it helps with the knot in my stomach.
Once I’m feeling normal again, I chuck the blade into the trash and clean myself up. All I want to do is go home. Racing through the house, I make it outside, call the driver, and wait, alone, as the tears threaten me once more.
I can’t do this.
I’m so fucking broken.
I can never show myself to anyone again.
12
Nesrin
Present day
The house is nothing like I expected. Granted, I knew it was a mansion, but this is nothing short of a dark fairy tale. Black bricks make up the exterior, with turrets that reach up into the sky.
The three floors are exquisitely furnished, with dark wood and glass. The windows overlook a garden so vast, you can’t tell where the property line ends.
My bedroom looks like something out of a home improvement show. A king-sized bed sits against one wall, with soft pink bedding and white sheets. The mattress is so soft, I don’t think I can make it down to the party. But I know I’ll need to, just to show my face since I am meant to be the guest of honor. I can’t believe Cassian wanted to throw a party, just for me.
I haven’t seen every part of the house yet, but what I have managed to venture into has left me breathless. Upon entering the main door, you’re taken into an entrance hall that looks like it’s part of a castle: with dark marble tiles and a rug that spans most of the open-plan space.
The staircase leads up to the second floor, where all our bedrooms are situated, and mine is right across the hall from Damien’s. On the other end of the house, are Finn and Cassian’s bedrooms. All of which I haven’t yet seen.
As I make my way down the steps, I take a left, instead of right, and find myself in a hallway that leads me into a home gym, with an indoor swimming pool.
Two other doors sit on this side, but they’re both locked. If I had to hazard a guess, I would say one was an office and the other, perhaps, a second guest room.
I can hear the party in full swing, so I turn back and make my way toward the living room, which is furnished with comfortable charcoal-colored sofas and two large wingback chairs, the same shade as the red wine that my mother loves to drink.
I don’t know why I’m even going to this party. I should’ve told Cassian not to bother with something so big. A dinner would be great, with just me and the brothers. But he doesn’t know just how much crowds affect me.
The words that Damien uttered the other night come back full-force when I think about which brunette he’s interested in. I can’t deny I wish he was talking about me, even though we can never be together.
By the time I reach the living room, I take in a much smaller group of people than I was expecting. Thankfully, it’s nothing like the city parties; there’s far less chaos.
I don’t feel out of place here. Not yet. Finn and Cassian have been welcoming, but Damien… well, he’s another story. I don’t know why we haven’t spoken much, but his aloofness makes me wonder if he hates the fact that my mother married his dad.
Outer appearances confirm we’re nothing alike.
But I have a feeling, under his veneer, we’re exactly the same.
And that’s why, the moment I laid eyes on Damien Thorne, I knew my life would never be the same again. His aura is darker than that of his brothers, as if he’s seen pain and heartache, felt it deeper than most.