The police? What did they think I did? Was something missing? Do they think I stole something? Oh God, I’m going to be sick! I put the car into reverse and nearly drove right over big and ugly’s foot before he jumped back out of the way. I went backwards all the way to the main road and then when I got there, I had to put it in park, get out and vomit on the side of the road. As I was standing there, heaving my guts out, I caught sight of them watching me. Dear God, what was going on? Losing my job was one thing, but being considered some kind of criminal was entirely another. I wiped my mouth on the sleeve of my ugly uniform. It didn’t matter; I wasn’t going to need it any longer apparently. Before I got back in the car, I threw a gesture at big and ugly at the gate. His expression still didn’t change, but it made me feel a little better nonetheless.
CHAPTER EIGHT
ALEXANDER
I stood in my bedroom and watched what was going on down at the gates on the security monitors. I could see the stricken look on Vicki’s face and God help me all I wanted to do was call down there and tell her there had been a terrible mistake and they should let her through. I didn’t though. Like a coward, I watched a stranger tell her that she was not only fired, but banned from the estate. Then I watched her drive backwards… and somewhat recklessly back to the main road. I took out a pair of binoculars that I used for horse racing and went over to the window. She stopped at the road and got out of the car. She barely made it to the front of the car before she started throwing up. I felt like a weight was sitting on my chest all of a sudden and I could hardly breathe. I did pick up the phone then and I called down to the gates.
“Yes sir?”
“Michael, she’s sick. Go help her.”
“She just flipped me off and got back into the car, sir.”
I laughed. “She flipped you off?”
“Yes sir.”
I laughed again. “Sorry about that.”
“I’ve been flipped off before sir.” I’ll bet that he had. Michael was my most humorless, almost robotic employee. The attorneys had purposely handpicked him for this sort of thing.
“Okay then. Thanks.” I hung up and stood looking around the massive suite I now stood in, alone. I was always alone. I went into the bathroom and looked at that stick that was now wrapped in a Ziploc baggie. The lawyers wanted it, but I told them I’d thrown it away. Anyone who knew that I’d kept it might think I was being ridiculous. The fact was that when I’d first discovered it, I was thrilled. I’ve always wanted a family… a big one. Cassandra told me that she did too at first. Two years into our marriage I discovered she was using birth control. We had a big fight and she told me that she wasn’t going to ruin her “perfect” body having a bunch of brats. Her “perfect” body was “perfect” because I bought and paid for it. She’d asked me when she was twenty-five, a year after we were married, if she could get her breasts enlarged. I didn’t see any harm in it and I said yes to make her happy. She got addicted after that and I lost count of the procedures she’d had. After a while it was like touching a Barbie doll… she was plastic.
I thought about the day Vicki and I made love in the basement. She was so warm and so real and I just couldn’t get enough of her. I had to force myself to get out of bed at five a.m. that morning and go for a run to keep from attacking her again. Just the smell of her hair was intoxicating. When I got back, she was gone. I’d been disappointed and hurt that she hadn’t at the very least left me a note, or anything. When she came in on Monday and I looked into those gorgeous green eyes, I saw anxiety there, laced with the same warmth as before. I realized she was probably embarrassed, although God knew there was no reason for her to be. That day was the first day in a very long time that I’d felt needed and loved. I wanted it to last forever. I had decided that it wasn’t fair to start something with her while the divorce was still hanging over my head but I intended to, as soon as Cassandra was finally out of my life.
Then yesterday, I walked into my bathroom with the intentions of getting a warm rag to put on my forehead to try and stave off the horrible migraine that was setting in. What I found was a pregnancy test… a positive one. I held the little baggie up to the mirror now and looked at the plus sign. I wondered what was going through her mind when she saw it.
I’d panicked when I first found it. I started to call Vicki, knowing it had to be hers. The only other staff on at the time was Karen who is fifty-five, Gregory and Manny. I actually had the phone in my hand and I was primed to push her number when thoughts of Cassandra crept back into my head. The day she’d left me, I’d gone to the hotel where she was staying to confront her. When she opened the door to her suite she’d said, “I’m not coming back, Alexander. I hate it there. I hate that house and I hate you.”
Although I think I’d fallen out of love with her years ago, her words still felt like someone was stabbing me in the chest with a knife. “I bought that house for you, Cassandra. You let me buy it with the idea in my head that we would have children to fill it soon.”
“I never put that idea in your head. That was all you. We should have a modern house in the hills where we can throw fabulous parties. Instead we live in a stuffy old house that looks almost identical to the stuffy old house your parents live in. I’ve tried to bring life back into it, but there’s no point. It’s like living in a museum.”
“If you would have told me that, I would have sold it for you. But you’re also saying you hate me. Why? What did I do?”
“Nothing, Alexander. That’s the problem; you do nothing any more except go to work.”
“One of us has to,” I’d told her.
“You have more money than God. Give it a rest and take me on vacation. Have a party. Go to a club. Hell, have an affair! Anything to put some life back into you. You’re a thirty year old man and you act like you’re fifty.”
She had a lot more to say that day and I listened. When I left, I called up a few friends that I hadn’t seen in a while and that night I had my first party in the basement. The next morning when I woke up next to some model that was as plastic as Cassandra, I realized that I wasn’t any happier, but maybe at least people wouldn’t think I was old and stuffy. So, I kept up with the parties and the women. I thought maybe one of them would turn out to be different and I could finally meet someone who would love me for me and not the fact that I had billions of dollars in the bank. That didn’t happen either. They were all more than willing to do whatever I wanted them to do and they all had one end goal in mind; bag the billionaire. I was cautious and made sure I used protection when I had sex with them. I let them get drunker than me and then after we’d had wild sex, I poured them into a car and had them taken home. I never let them see my house beyond the basement and I never shared anything personal with them. Then I found Vicki crying in my hallway that day and my mindset totally changed.
I was pissed off at Cassandra that day and when I first saw her I thought, “Oh great, another needy woman.” I almost left her there and walked on by. But when her eyes met mine and I saw the genuine pain in them… the first genuine feelings I think I’d seen from any woman in such a long time, I couldn’t resist. I thought I’d take her downstairs and we’d have a drink or two and I could get my mind off of Cassandra and her nonsense. Once we were down there and we sta
rted talking, I was hooked. I had always thought she was beautiful, but I wasn’t going to cheat on my wife and I wasn’t going to come on to the staff. But that day it was different. Cheating on my wife was removed from the equation and suddenly Vicki was more to me than just “staff.” She was a vibrant, emotional, intelligent, funny, gorgeous woman and I would have had to be dead to not be affected by her. That day and night were the best of my life so far and every time I think about it now, I still get a warm feeling that floods my entire system. I still want her and every time I’ve seen her since, I’ve ached for her.
When I told my attorney about the pregnancy test and he asked me how the “affair” happened… I told him it was all me. I came on to her. I saw the surprise on her face that day. I saw that she wanted me too, but she was scared. I was the aggressor. I took advantage of her and if she had sued me for sexual harassment, I wouldn’t have been surprised. But she didn’t and she didn’t say another word about it. She was willing to leave it be and let me make the next move if there were to be one. I told him all of that, and his conclusion for her leaving the test for me to find it was “blackmail.” He said she was blackmailing me and she wanted me to offer her money to give up the baby… he’d actually said, “abort.” That word made me sick and I told him not to use it again. If she consented to “give up” the baby, it would be only to me. I would make sure of that.