A laugh that could only be described as disbelief expelled from my lungs. “A few years?” A million scenarios played in my head. Did he have sex with all of them without a condom? How many women? I had to get tested now. It had been a few months since we last had sex, but I never thought he would do this to me. I never thought he was so cruel. “Get out. I never want to see you again.”
“Muffin,” he used the pet name he gave me ten years ago on our first date because I had muffin on the side of my mouth. “Please—”
“You don’t ever get to call me that again. Get out.”
He held his arms out for me, and tears swam in his eyes. The nerve of him! “I said leave!” My voice broke, and he slowly took his keys in hand, gathered his wallet, and stepped over the mess of glass on the floor. “We need to talk about this. We will talk once things calm down. I don’t care how I need to fix this, but I will. I love you. It’s always been you. I fucked up.”
“You’re only sorry because you got caught,” I whispered as he stood next to me. I didn’t look at him. I kept my eyes forward, hating the warmth coming from his body right now. Hating how I smelled the sweat and sex in the air. “I never want to see you again, Brian.” A tear rolled down my face, and I stepped forward, my boots crunching on the glass. I needed to get away from him.
“Lucy—”
“---Are you stupid? I said leave,” I shouted, pushing him against his chest. He stumbled backwards and out the door, his hand flew to the sheet hanging on his hips when he threatened to fall, and I slammed the door in his face. I locked the handle, the deadbolt, and the chain. I turned around and slid down the wood and finally let go and cry.
Heavy sobs wracked my body to the point where I couldn’t breathe. I thought about all the memories we shared, all the laughs, all the times he told me he loved me, and everything was a lie. My first love was nothing but lies.
The wine was still spreading, the puddle expanding as if it had a mind of its own. It got closer to me. Sadness replaced my anger again. I stood, wiped the tears off my face, and marched to the bed. Forcing my hands between the mattress and the box spring, I squatted and used my raged fueled muscles to lift.
Well, I tried to lift, but wow, I did not remember mattresses being this heavy. I grunted, trying again, but all I ended up doing was sliding it over. Sniffling, I wiped my cheek against my shirt and unzipped my purse, grabbing my phone and called my brother Logan.
It rang four times, and for a split second, I didn’t think he was going to answer. “Hey, sis. What’s up?” the voice I depend on the most comforts me instantly, but the pain from the person I loved more than life still lingered.
“Logan.”
“What’s wrong?” He was alert, and I heard his truck starting in the background. “I’ll be there in five minutes.”
“He cheated on me,” I sobbed, holding my hand over my heart to keep it from shattering into a billion pieces. “I saw it, Logan. In the bed. In our bed.”
“That piece of shit. I’m going to kill him.” Logan’s deadly tone made me shiver, and I knew he meant what he said. He never liked Brian. He always told me to break up with him and get away, that I could do better.
I took what he said with a grain of salt because Brian and I had been together for so long, I didn’t want to put effort into someone else. Brian was never perfect; none of us are, but to cheat? I guess Logan had been right all along. He called it. Logan said years ago that Brian was going to hurt me. I asked how he knew, and all he said was, “I can see it in his eyes.”
At the time, I shrugged it off because I didn’t know what that meant.
I do now.
“Can you come help me get the mattress and blankets out of my apartment? I don’t want them here. I don’t want to be here. I can’t think.”
Is this all a dream? Maybe I’m living a nightmare, and I will wake up soon.
Logan stood in the doorway, and that’s when I noticed I had the phone to my ear still from when he hung up a few minutes ago. He took a quick look around, scanning the place to make sure I was safe before he ran to me and took me into a strong hug. “It’s okay. I got you, Lucy. It’s okay.” He kissed my forehead, and the tenderness from my brother only made me cry harder. I felt so pathetic for crying. Brian wasn’t worth the tears, but the betrayal I felt went so deep.
“Come on, let’s get this mattress out of here and then we will go back to my place, watch movies and drink some beer.”
“I just want to get some sleep,” I said and got on the other side of the mattress as Logan lifted it up. Once it was on its side, we slid it through the wine, and the white material got stained red. Logan dropped the tailgate and lifted the mattress onto the bed of his truck.
“How about we set this on fire first? What do you say?” He stretched a free hand out to me and waited for me to take it. “Me and you, Luce. I’ll always have you.”
Ever since our parents died when I was sixteen and Logan was eighteen, he took care of me. We had grown together, and he had become my best friend. I didn’t know what I’d do without him. A life without Brian I’d be able to get used to. A life without Logan?
There wouldn’t be one.
“A bonfire sounds nice.”
“I’ll let you do the honors then,” he said.
Ten minutes later, we pulled up to an empty plot of land where partiers frequently came, and Logan poured lighter fluid all over the mattress and blankets. I lit a match and watched the flame burn the stick for a moment before tossing it onto the ruined pile of memories.
Just like that, my previous life was going up in smoke and fire. I just hoped my heart could be reborn from the ashes.