I laid on my back and stared at him, watching him stretch all of his body. He yawned, stretching his arms over his head and every muscle seemed leaner and more defined, not as bulky, but I liked how his body was before the stretch. His erection pressed against his shorts, and he smirked when he saw me staring at it.
“I can’t help it. I wake up next to you, and I can’t help but want you. You’re too beautiful. Here too,” he tapped my temple, and when he did that, it meant more to me than he would ever know. My chest constricted, and the back of my eyes burned, but I made sure I didn’t cry. “I said I’d tell you every day, and I meant it.” He kissed me right then, morning breath and all.
He didn’t even taste bad. I loved it.
“I have to work today.”
Five words that ruined every good thing I felt about this morning. I started to panic. I wasn’t ready to be alone. I held on to his wrist, squeezing it, worried that if he left, I’d lose myself again.
“Hey, hey, look at me, baby. You’r
e going somewhere far away, and I don’t like it. Look at me. I need you to tell me what’s wrong or I can’t help.”
I shook my head, burying my face in my hands. Logan wasn’t having that. He took my hands from my face and held them with both of his, then pulled me to the edge of the bed. He kneeled on the ground, kind of like he did the first time we met, but this time, he brushed a knuckle down my cheek.
“Can I go with you? I don’t want to be alone, please? I’ll help.” I sounded so pathetic, but I was so afraid. No one understood. Last night was the first night in a long time that I didn’t have nightmares about blood, about running, about living. I had been alone. I knew what it was like. After experiencing love, safety, and happiness with Logan in one night, going back to anything that didn’t have those elements made me fall apart.
I wasn’t strong.
I didn’t know how to be.
Sure, I was strong when I had to be, and I learned to live for the last year, but now I felt fragile, on the verge of shattering ever since Logan came into the picture. He put me back together, made me feel things I never thought I would or could. He glued me together, and when he left, I knew I’d fall apart.
I knew it.
“Baby,” he crooned, sitting on the bed next to me and holding my head to his chest as he ran his fingers through my hair. “I’m working here. I need to finish the house still. My crew will be here in two hours. Only this half of the house is done, there is an entire other half.”
I breathed easier, knowing he would be in the same area as me. I felt like a fool. “I’m sorry.”
“Hey, why the reaction?”
I shook my head, but as I did it, I knew that wouldn’t be what he wanted.
“Abigail,” he said my name like a father would scolding a child.
“I’m afraid to be without you.”
“You’ve been without me before, an entire year, remember?”
I shrugged.
“Words, Abigail.”
I huffed, not wanting to speak because when I was upset my words jumbled together. “I’m not afraid when I’m with you. I’m brave with you.”
“Oh, Abigail, you have no idea, do you? You’re brave without me. You conquered a world on your own without anyone, without memories of how life works, without love. I’m afraid I won’t be enough for what you deserve.”
“You’re more than I could ever hope for,” I said, staring into his eyes as his hands found their way to my lower back.
“How about you become my intern? You’ll get coffee, nails, things like that.”
“What are nails?”
He chuckled, but I was serious. “We will work on it. You have a lot to learn today, come on.” He patted my butt. “Time to get up. I’m going to get in the shower. You can join me if you want; I’ll keep my hands to myself.”
I didn’t want him to though. I wanted him to touch me in all the ways possible. His phone dinged and it got my attention. And when I looked down, I saw that name Maria again. He swiped it away, and I couldn’t help but feel jealous.
“Who’s Maria?” I asked. My voice clear as day and angry. I had never heard myself sound like that before. I covered my mouth with my hands, mortified from my reaction. “I’m sorry. That isn’t any of my business. You probably have a girlfriend.” Logan being that kind of man made me sad.