“Hey,” I took her hands in mine. “Take a deep breath. No rush.”
“Like little things,” she placed her fingers together until they almost touched.
“Flashes?”
“Flashes,” she said in agreement. “And feelings.” Her hand fell to her stomach, holding it tight. “Bad feelings,” Abigail’s voice was far away.
Her mind didn’t remember, but her body did. “Can you explain it to me?”
She stared at me with watery eyes, still clutching her stomach until her knuckles were white.
“Use your words. I’ll listen. I’ll help. There’s no rush. You’re brilliant, okay? You’re strong,” I brought her hand to my mouth and placed a kiss on her cold fingers. “There, I gave you a kiss.”
“That’s cheating,” she pouted. “Real deal,” Abigail tapped her lips with her finger.
I tossed my head back and laughed, laying her hand flat on my cheek, I leaned into it. “You’re a breath of fresh air,” I said. “I’ll kiss you if you tell me what you remember. Incentive.”
The happiness fled from her face, the glow, the blush, her skin pale and almost sickly as she did her best to remember that night. “Cold. It was cold.” She looked up toward the ceiling, and her fingers danced in the air. “Snow fell. It was pretty.” Abigail looked at her hands like something was on them. “It’s blur after that. I woke up in the hospital. They told me my parents were dead. I didn’t remember my parents, but I cried anyway because I felt the loss, even if I didn’t remember them. I didn’t know my name. I only know what they told me.”
I clutched her hands with the same amount of force as she held onto mine.
“They wanted to take me to the house.”
“Why didn’t you go?” I asked.
“Something bad happened there. I don’t know what. I feel it. I still feel it. Dark. It was evil. I never wanted to go back. I ran.”
That explained so much more about her. She had a home, somewhere, but she decided not to go there because of what happened, whatever it was, I believed it was bad because if it had anything to do with the scar on the back of her head, what happened to her parents was probably awful.
What happened to them though?
“You never talked to anyone about it?” My curiosity got the best of me. “Maybe someone could help.”
“Just you,” she said. “Never wanted to talk before you.” Abigail glanced down at our hands and tried to tug them away, but I didn’t let her go. She took a deep breath, her chest expanding, and when she let it out, she spoke again, “I get flashes sometimes. Someone hovering over me. I hate knives. Too dark to make out the face. I try so hard, but everything is dark. Like…a sha-dow,” she said slowly as the word came to her. “Sorry, I sound so stupid. They said it is because of the injury. Damaged the speech part of my brain.”
That pissed me off that she thought of herself like that. I got on my knee and held her face with my hands, staring at her intensely. “I never ever want to hear you talk about yourself like that. A stupid person couldn’t have survived like you have. You are smart. You are brave. You are strong. I admire you. Not a lot of people could live after what you have been through; they would have given up. I never want to hear those words come from your mouth again, or I’ll spank you.” I made sure to smile at the last part, so she knew I was kidding, but my cock took notice, and by the way Abigail’s eyes dilated, she was interested too.
“Spank to hurt?” she asked.
“Never. Never to hurt you,” I pulled her to me, burying her face in my chest. “It’s hard to learn all over again, and you’re doing it. Don’t ever give up on yourself, and if you do, I’ll be there to remind you how capable you are, but you are not stupid. That hurts me so much that you think that.”
“Okay. I’ll try,” she said. “It’s been hard to come to terms with.”
“I can imagine. You’re beautiful; you know that?”
She slid her eyes away and shook her head.
My hand landed on the crook of her neck, and my thumb rubbed the soft skin of her jugular. Her pulse spiked, and she licked her lips. The air between us changed,
and while I wanted to fight it, to tell her she needed more time, I wanted to kiss her more than anything.
I needed to kiss her, but I wouldn’t make a move until she gave me the go-ahead. Abigail had to use her words; it was the only way I’d kiss her. I brought my forehead to hers, shut my eyes, and tried to get ahold of myself. Her arms snaked around my waist, and with every stroke of her hands, I trembled.
“I’ll tell you every day, baby.”
“Tell me what?” she asked me, running an exploratory finger down my spine.
“I’ll tell you how much you’re worthy, how much you’re loved and wanted, how smart you are. There will never be a day where you don’t know how much you’re cared for. I’ll make sure there will never be a chance for you to forget.”