She nodded.
“And everything in the last year,” I started to piece things together. “Those are the things you know? Nothing before that?”
“Nothing. Gone. Like smoke,” she said in those short sentences again. The way she spoke told me she didn’t feel comfortable talking at all, so the fact that she was talking to me, that made me special. Maybe I wasn’t as special to her as she was to me, but still, it made me feel good.
“I’m so sorry. If you want, we can be friends, and we can experience things together, make new memories.” Scaring her away was something I never wanted, so telling her that I wanted her to be mine forever might be too much right now.
“Friends,” she tried the word out. “I’d like that.”
I hung my head, relieved. This mountain I decided to climb wasn’t easy. I’d need to take a breather every now and then, but I wouldn’t give up. Especially when I had come this far. I had a feeling she didn’t have any friends. She picked me.
And she wouldn’t ever regret it.
We fell into a comfortable silence as I washed her hair. Taking care of her like this was something I could do every day for the rest of my life. It was effortless, easy, and it felt natural, like I was
always meant to do it.
“Okay, time to wash the shampoo out,” I said. “I’ll turn around again.” I wiped my hands off on the towel and turned around. When I got up, my eyes caught the mirror, and I saw her dipping her head under, and the peaks of her dusty pink nipples skimmed the surface. I jerked my head away and cleared my throat, feeling like an ass for seeing what I did. I said she could trust me, and I violated her privacy.
It was an accident, but still, I should have been more aware. Not getting to see or touch her was going to be so much harder than I thought.
Chapter Eight
Abigail
I loved baths. I loved sitting in hot water. My muscles relaxed, and when Logan washed my hair? Wow. I thought I was going to fall asleep, face first, right in the water. I felt clean, really clean for the first time in a long time. I never wanted to leave this place, but I knew Logan was only being nice until I got on my feet.
He was so kind and had a big heart.
Logan was handsome too. Really handsome. Every time he looked away from me, I stole a few glances. He had the kind of looks that no woman could ever look away from.
“I’m going to get your pajamas, okay?”
I gripped the side of the tub and shook my head. I wasn’t ready to be left alone. I knew I depended on Logan too much, but now that I had company, being alone was the last thing I wanted. “No, don’t go.”
“I’ll only be in the bedroom for a second, and then I’ll be right back, okay?”
“Please. Stay.” I pointed at my chest, then him, then the direction of the bedroom.
“You want to go with me?” he asked.
I nodded.
“Anything you want,” he smiled. He took a white towel off the rack and unfolded it. “Are you ready to get out?”
“Yes, Logan.” I wanted to speak more with him; I had the urge to learn again with him, something I never had before. I hated how the sound of my voice. I sounded stupid. I didn’t want to sound stupid around Logan. He could have anyone he wanted, so desiring him would be foolish.
Yet, my heart wanted Logan, no matter how many times I told myself it could never happen.
I stood, and in a rush, the bubbles and water cascaded down my body.
“Oh. Uh, sorry,” he turned his head to the side, and the outline of his jaw was square and cut, his cheeks were red, and Logan coughed, staring at the ceiling. “I didn’t see anything. I swear. Well, I might have seen a little—you know, it’s fine, it doesn’t matter. I didn’t see anything.”
Right. I was naked. Did he not like my body? Why would he? I was too skinny. I had no breasts, and my hip bones stuck out. I turned around, not wanting him to see the tears swimming in my eyes. He wrapped the towel around my body and then dried off my hair with another.
He was oddly good at this.
He twisted the towel up until it sat on top of my head. And when I stared in the mirror, it looked like I wore a big hat. “How do you know to do that?” I pointed to the towel.