“Gods damn it. Why did she no’ just tell us to go there in the first place?”
Her eyes narrowed. “For the same reason the letter is addressed to me and hidden in a place that only a soulceress can enter. She wants me to come to her. Only me. But you never mentioned that she knew me. Were you ever planning to tell me?”
Shite. Truth or lie? A lie would be easier. But she already mistrusted him. Another lie could be the one that permanently broke this fragile thing between them, if it hadn’t been destroyed already. And he didn’t want to lie to her, not anymore. He’d lied to so many. The praise he’d received for his work, his good deeds, was hollow from people who didn’t know who he truly was. What he’d done.
The idea of true honesty with anyone, but with her especially, was irresistible. “Aye, she wanted you specifically. And nay, I probably wasn’t going to tell you. I wasn’t even going to let you get near her, for fear of what she’d do to you.”
“So you didn’t mean it when you said you wouldn’t kill her?”
“She canna be allowed to live.”
“You don’t know that! Why did she ask for me specifically? Who is she to me?”
“Just another soulceress. She said she wanted a friend. It’s ridiculous.”
Something like pleasure shone in her eyes. It made him nervous. Esha liked the idea of being Aurora’s friend. Something dark and sick welled within him that had nothing to do with Aurora’s magic. Over his dead body.
“The witches think she’ll try to steal your power,” he told her.
She laughed. “Steal it? That’s not possible.”
“Aye, it is. The witches said so, and she’s more than capable of it.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“You doona have to. But it’s the reason she wants to meet you, and the reason she never will. I’ll no’ let her take your power from you.”
She shot him a skeptical look. “Whatever. You’d like me better without it. Why are you telling me the truth now?”
“Because I doona want to lie anymore. And I would no’ prefer you without it. No longer. It’s part of you.”
“I’m not even going to pretend I believe what you’re saying.” She leaned down to pick up the envelope. “We’re going to find her. You can’t do it without me, that’s clear. We’ll see who gets to her first, and who gets what they want. And you’re wrong.”
He’d made a giant fucking mess of this. A month ago, he’d pushed her away because of what she was and the vows that he’d made, all the while she’d been throwing herself at him. Now, as he realized how much she was starting to mean to him, he kept screwing things up and pushing her farther away.
If he could just get Aurora out of the way, everything would be fine.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Esha climbed out of the passenger seat of the Range Rover and onto a huge green field milling with hundreds of cheering Mytheans. The sun shone as brightly as it had at the house, sparkling on the saltwater loch she could see from the field. Someone had probably called in a favor from a weather witch to keep the rain away for the games.
It was still cold, though, and she yanked up the zipper of the jacket that Warren had repaired for her. She should have thanked him for the jacket, but her initial awkwardness this morning had been replaced by anger at his secrets.
Did knowing the reason for his lies—that he wanted to protect her—outweigh the sin of the lie? She had no idea. She just knew that she was tired of trying to figure it all out.
“Well, now what?” Warren asked as he joined her. They’d parked off to the side of the festivities with the other vehicles. They watched hundreds of Mytheans crowding food and beer stalls and gathered around a group of individuals tossing great logs through the air.
“Ten pounds that girl wins the caber toss.” Esha jerked her head toward a small blond woman about to heave a log.
“I won’t be taking that bet, lassie.”
“Figured I’d give it a try.” Taking his money might make her feel better, at least a little.
Esha watched Ana heave the caber nearly 100 meters down the field. She hadn’t expected her friend to be here, but Ana had always been competitive. It made sense for her to sneak out of Otherworld for the games. Since she was one of the more ancient goddesses, a normal Mythean would have a hard time beating her unnatural strength.
Esha turned from her friend and walked toward the far end of the field, where a group of spectators milled around a beer stall.
“Do you no’ want to head toward the strongest competitors?” Warren asked from her side.