Brett said nothing, but he didn’t take his eyes from me.
And for some reason, I felt compelled to keep talking.
“You know, I understand I’m messed up about my dad. Maybe a stronger person would cut him out of their life and move on. But part of that being messed up is not that I don’t get what he did to me and the fact that what he did to me wasn’t about me. It was about him. He wasn’t a failed Baryshnikov. But whatever it was, he wasn’t happy in his life, and he took that out on me, because it’s all about him. He’s my father, but if he heard me scream, I don’t think he’d charge after me. He’d probably call the police. But he wouldn’t charge after me. Even being around Axl a bit here and there, and this whole thing lasting what seems like a long time, I don’t know Axl very well. But I know that. And right now, that’s all I really need to know.”
“Agreed,” Brett said softly.
I ticked up a shoulder. “So, he is who he is. We’ve had one kiss, no dates, lots of nothing that feels like something, and I’m hoping to start making that something into really something. I can’t go in being scared of who he is or what he does and wanting to change him. Honestly, I’m a mess and he seems like he’s taking me as I come. He’s not a mess, but he does something dangerous for a living, but the bottom line is, I don’t deserve him if I don’t do the same thing.”
Brett again said nothing to me.
But he called to the driver, “Joe.”
“Gotcha,” the driver replied.
Brett then looked at me. “I’m glad you worked things out with the women.”
“Me too,” I returned, a little surprised at the swift change of subject and a lot confused with Brett saying something without saying anything to Joe.
Then I thought I understood why there was that change of subject.
And he’d been really nice to me.
Sure, he started that by breaking into my house, freaking me out by waiting for me to return home, and reading me the riot act.
But he was a great guy.
He just had some unusual methods to his greatness.
So I was learning.
If it’s worth it, it’s worth the work.
And I needed to give that to Brett too.
“Brett, if I wasn’t where I’m at with Axl, and in life, honestly, if I met you free of that, I might be that girl that could deal. You’re really special. In fact, you’re just a great guy, and I don’t care if you’re also a motherfucker. But we didn’t meet like that.”
He reached out and slid a finger along my jaw before he said gently, “Baby, I know. Pantera can’t see straight, he wants you so bad, and you been in that same space for probably longer than he has. I get it. Don’t worry about me. Please.”
“I think you’re into me,” I whispered hesitantly.
“If you were the love of my life, Hattie, and I was the love of yours, Pantera wouldn’t matter. To either of us.”
“This is true,” I murmured.
He smiled. “It’s not in the cards for us. But you’re cute, and both my sisters live in Alaska, and they’re all grown up, so it’s fun havin’ a girl to look after again. So like I said, don’t worry.”
“You do know you’re special,” I said quietly, but earnestly.
That made Brett’s entire, big body tick.
Then he said, just as quietly, “No, I didn’t. But I’m gettin’ that, sweetheart.”
I liked that I was giving him that so he could get it.
I smiled at him.
He reached out and squeezed my knee before he faced forward.
I did the same, wondering if Ryn put her phone on sleep or charged it overnight somewhere not close to her so a text wouldn’t disturb her.
I decided, just in case, to wait until morning.
I then looked out the side window again.
And my brows drew together.
“Are we going to your place?” I asked the route that was not a route that took us in the direction of my apartment.
“No, we’re going to Pantera’s place.”
I rotated swiftly in my seat, crying, “What?”
“I’m dropping you off so you can sort things out,” he stated.
“It’s after two thirty in the morning,” I told him something he knew.
“Trust me, he won’t give a shit, you show at his door to fix things.”
Oh my God!
“I’m not prepared.”
“How do you prepare for this? You don’t. You just do it.”
He was right.
Argh!
“I’m tired. And I don’t want him to be in a bad mood because I’ve woken him up when I start explaining.”
“Right, Hattie, you get I got a dick?”
“Of course!”
“And you get that, if outside factors did not skew shit, I could be into you in a way I’d stop at nothing to make you mine?”