The second was that as soon as I got home, I wanted to call Harper and tell her all about my day. It was silly since I’d just seen her the previous night, but I felt almost like I missed her. As though she wasn’t just a few blocks over.
“What’s got you in such a good mood?” Stone asked as we drove home.
I shrugged, drumming my fingertips against the edge of the steering wheel. “You remember that hot black chick?” I said.
“Oh,” Stone said, smirking at me. “You’re getting laid now; it all makes sense.”
I shrugged, not even caring about his lewd language at the moment. I was tempted to go over to Harper’s the second we got back, but I remembered what we had agreed about taking things slow. I didn’t know if Ava was back to her mom’s house yet. If so, I shouldn’t show up unannounced, even if all I wanted to do was sweep Harper off her feet and kiss her madly.
Instead, I settled for calling her. “Hey,” I said, flopping back across my bed.
“Hey,” Harper said brightly. “How’s it going?”
“Good,” I told her. “Really good, actually. I went on a good hike today with some other ex-military people. It was surprisingly fun. Might have made a few friends, even.”
“That’s great,” Harper said, but I could tell she sounded distracted.
“What’s up with you?” I asked. “Are you working on something?”
“I just have this article that I’m trying to get done before someone else beats us to it,” she sighed. “Sorry. I really do want to chat; it’s just been a hectic day.”
“No problem,” I said immediately. “You get that article done. I can’t wait to read it.”
“Thanks,” Harper said. “Talk soon, okay?”
“Yeah, sure,” I said, hanging up the phone. I had a moment of second-guessing. But Harper was busy; I knew that. I knew what I was signing up for. I couldn’t start panicking about the state of our relationship already. If she didn’t actually want to be in a relationship with me, if she was having second thoughts, I had to trust that she would come right out and say so.
Anyway, I was in too good a mood to let it get to me. I immediately dialed George’s number. “Hey, do you have a minute?” I asked. “I was doing some thinking. What if we also integrated service dogs into our new program?”
I started explaining about Sadie and Vixen, and about how it seemed like a lot of the things that Vixen had been trained to do were things that we already knew how to train. George liked the idea, and we started brainstorming. It felt good, I realized, to have a project to give myself over to again. It felt like I had a purpose again.
I breathed out a sigh of relief. Hopefully, that was the end of feeling adrift. Hopefully, from now on, everything would be good.
17
Harper
By the time Sunday afternoon rolled around, I was exhausted. I practically collapsed onto Mom’s couch, groaning as the soft cushions molded to my body. “That’s it; I’m never moving again,” I swore. To be honest, I wasn’t even sure how I had survived the drive out to Winchester. Or really why I had bothered. Mom was perfectly capable of taking care of Ava for another night, and she would have been more than happy to do so.
Especially seeing as I was currently in no state to take care of myself, let alone my daughter.
But I’d felt guilty for leaving Ava with her for two nights already. I hadn’t really been able to help the one the previous night; I’d been swamped with work, and not the kind that I could have a three-year-old trailing after me for either. But the night before, that had been all on me. I probably shouldn’t have dumped Ava on Mom just so that I could get laid that, though I really didn’t want to change the way that night had ended, either.
Ava patted my head, smiling at me, and it was all I could do to grin wearily back at her. She was perfectly happy that her sleepover at Grammie’s had ended up being a two-night stay when a big story had come through. I knew that my editor put me on it as thanks for doing the piece on Ace, and I wanted it to be perfect, but I’d been going for nearly twenty hours straight now, and I was pretty much dead on my feet.
But all Ava knew was that she’d gotten to stay at Grammie’s for two nights, play with all her special toys, bake chocolate chip cookies, and then see her mama at the end of it all. It was sweet thinking of the innocent way she must view the world.
I wished things could be that uncomplicated for me. Especially where Ace was concerned. I’d been so busy, and I was so exhausted. But he’d been there in the back of my mind ever since Friday night.
Or longer, truthfully. But I didn’t want to think about how long I’d been thinking about him. It was all well and good now that he was back in my life, but I had to wonder if maybe the reason I’d never dated anyone after Ava was born was more to do with the fact that I’d always been holding out hope that one day, eventually, I would make contact with Ace again and he would want to be with us, a beautiful little family.
Mom brought in some tea and a sandwich. I wolfed the sandwich down in what felt like two bites, not having realized how hungry I was. I couldn’t remember the last time I had eaten, though, so I supposed it made sense.
“You need to start taking better care of yourself, Mama,” Mom said disapprovingly, pulling Ava into her lap and starting to braid the girl’s hair.
“I know, I know,” I said, rolling my eyes and taking a sip of my tea, letting the warmth flow through my body. “It was an exciting story, though.”
“What’s it about?” Mom asked.