§
“You should talk to my friend Jen. Hold on a second.” Sitting across the lunch table from me, my new New York contact tapped away on her phone. “OK, call her tomorrow. But wait, you know who you really need to talk to?” She turned her attention back to her cell and connected me with yet another person.
“Wow, thank you so much!” I watched her, wide-eyed with gratitude. She was like a tornado of contacts. Apparently I’d hit the jackpot on the first try.
“Oh, don’t worry about it.” She waved away my thanks. “So glad you’re out of that viper’s nest.”
“Fame! was kind of rough,” I agreed.
“Tell me about it.” She rolled her eyes, then said hello to someone passing by and waved them over. “Joe, I want you to meet Vi.”
I stood and shook hands with a man in a slim-cut grey suit and tie. I’d have to get used to seeing men in ties again. New York was so much dressier than California.
“She just got out of Fame!” my friend announced, as if I’d just been released from prison.
“And you survived!” He raised his eyebrows, looking at me approvingly. “You should join us tomorrow night. A bunch of us are heading to Axis. Have you been yet?”
I shook my head. I was so out of it.
“Yes, come,” my friend insisted, tapping into her phone again. “I’ll send you the address.”
“You can share your war stories.” The man named Joe shivered. “Promise you won’t leave out any gory details.”
We finished our lunch in much the same fashion, and by the time we were air-kissing good-bye I had about twenty new contacts in the city.
“Welcome to New York!” She flashed me a quick smile.
“Thank you!” I said, but she’d already turned her attention back to her phone as she headed off down the sidewalk. New Yorkers had truly mastered the power walk with cell phone, barreling ahead full-speed while also carrying on multiple text, email and phone conversations. The pace of the city was dizzying, with more black and grey whisking past me than I’d seen in ages.
I took my time walking back to Port Authority. Buses left every twenty minutes this time of day. I wasn’t in a rush, which left me feeling a bit like a salmon swimming upstream. The river coursed over me and I picked my way around obstacles, observing my surroundings way more than anyone else except for the occasional camera-strapped tourist.
I could feel the pull. And grateful as I was for all the new contacts, I felt wary, realizing how easy it would be to jump right onto the merry-go-round again, New York style. I’d go party tomorrow night and meet more friends of friends of friends. If I didn’t watch it I’d be right back where I was before, working on shows I didn’t particularly like with people I didn’t particularly trust.
I didn’t want to change industries entirely, but I did want a change. And I could find it. I felt a sudden surge of confidence in my bones. It would take some time and some persistence, but if I stayed determined I could almost feel something good coming my way.
It made me want to call Heath. He’d understand what I wanted to do, the pitfalls I was trying to avoid. I wished he were with me as I charted a new path. I’d felt like a better person when I was with him, more my true self.
But I guessed that wasn’t an option. I hadn’t heard from him in almost three weeks now. He’d had enough time to calm down, get over his initial anger, but he still hadn’t gotten in touch. The last thing he’d done was tell me to leave him alone. Pretty clear instructions.
So, I’d have to do this on my own. And I could. I knew I could. Watching the city pass through the bus window, I tried to make peace with that. You didn’t always get exactly what you wanted in life. I could fuss and yell about how it wasn’t fair, how Heath had wrongly accused me. And, true, he’d gotten the details wrong, but when I looked at the whole mess with some perspective, I honestly had to admit that I had been part of the problem. I’d spent years working in a nest of vipers, slithering right in there with the best of them. I should have known that one day a snake coiled up next to me would turn around and bite.
It was tempting to throw a tantrum, stomp your foot and demand that things be different. But growing up and being an adult didn’t so much allow for that. Chin up, shoulders back, you had to do tough things like acknowledge your role in creating your own problems. The best you could do was try to move on, learning from your mistakes and doing better next time. Sometimes in life you simply had to accept that things didn’t always work out like they did in romantic movies.
Which was why I was so surprised when I returned home and saw Heath sitting at my kitchen table talking to my mom.
CHAPTER 22
Heath
I knew I’d found the right place when a woman who looked like an older version of Violet opened the door. Well, Violet if she’d joined an 80s metal band.
“You say you’re a friend of Violet’s?” She looked at me with slight suspicion. I’d had to talk her into coming down to the entry of the apartment complex. No way was she just going to buzz me on up.
“We met in Vermont. While she was up there scouting the location.”
Understanding flashed in her eyes. “Come on in.”
I knew I could have called Violet on the phone. It would have been easier, though it wasn’t too hard to track down her mom’s place. I remembered she’d mentioned she was from Englewood and her mom owned a hair salon. A few clicks later and I had a home address.
But I felt like what I had to say I needed to do in person. The last time we’d spoken I’d accused Violet of a whole lot of things. I’d practically thrown her out of my life. I had some work to do if I had any hope of asking her back in.
Her mom explained that Violet would be home soon from a meeting in the city. She offered me a beer while we waited and kept me pleasant comp
any, catching me up on the latest city politics. I told her I’d grown up in New York, but hadn’t lived there in years.
“It never changes.” She laughed. “The strikes, the corruption.” I could see where Violet got her easy way with people. The both of them could clearly talk to anyone, anywhere. Me, I wasn’t so good with the talking, but she didn’t make me feel awkward. Which was saying something since basically I was a big, gruff guy showing up out of nowhere unannounced wanting to see her daughter.
Then Violet walked in, and if I had had any words in my head—which I hadn’t—they would have rushed right out. She looked so good. Her face was glowing like she’d just done something exciting, and I wanted to take her in my arms and kiss her and hear all about it. Instead, I stood stock still, beer in my hand, saying nothing.
She said nothing, either, staring at me like she was seeing a ghost.
“Look who’s here, Vi!” her mother chirped. “It’s your friend, Heath!” She stood between us like a grown up trying to engage two socially-awkward adolescents.
Open-mouthed, staring at me, Violet took a step closer. I’d shaved my beard clean off, maybe that’s why she was looking at me like I had two heads. I rubbed my hand self-consciously across my jaw, looking down at the floor.
“OK, well, I can see you two have a lot to catch up on, so I’ll go make myself scarce.” Her mother left the room and with her, all hope of easy conversation. I could feel myself starting to sweat under my collar.
“Hey,” I managed, looking up to meet her eyes. She had on something or other that made her eyes look so deep blue-purple I nearly had to catch my breath. My heart hammered in my chest.
“Hi,” she said softly, drawing closer.
“I, ah…” I ran a hand through my hair, wishing I’d thought this through a little more. Or at all. I’d spent a lot of time thinking about her, wanting to be with her, but only now realized I hadn’t devoted any time to figuring out what to say to her once I did see her. “Hope it’s OK I came here. I wanted to talk to you.”