He was going to be naked with a bow on his pecker and a big smile on his face.
He looked at the clock and saw it was already 6:45. Once he had the table set and candlelight flickering on the table he decided to get out his secret weapon. A friend of his had told him of all the great effects Viagra had on his sex life. Kyle wasn’t weird but did engage in some “off the beaten path” adventures with Trudy to spark their sex life. He and his wife had toys and other sex aides but neither wanted to depend on them. So he sat quietly reading the label.
“Hmmmmmmm, take one tablet twenty minutes before,” he read aloud from the instructions.
He sat there in a state of awe thinking how great medicine could be, then read on. “Hmmm, sustain an erection for an uncertain amount of time from 30 to 60 minutes.”
Kyle looked up at the clock above the fireplace and saw it was about five minutes before seven. Time for the medicine. The label said take 1/2 to a full tab. What the hell!, he thought as he swallowed down a full tablet. He walked around cleaning up the house then grabbed a beer and sat down to read. He was enthralled in his latest Hustler magazine and could see the Viagra was having a strong effect on him. He noticed it was 15 after and still no Trudy. Then suddenly, the phone rang.
“Hello?” Kyle answered.
It was Trudy. She called to tell him she ran into somebody and was going to be late.
After he put the phone down he stood up, and so did something else. Hmmmmm. He was fascinated with it, so he did some tests.
He hung four towels on it and still no problem. He balanced a broom on it. Used it as a bat playing softball. Put donuts on it and lastly used the force and pretended it was a light saber. After thirty minutes passed he was all worked up and hornier than a rabbit and it had become obvious his wife wasn’t coming home.
He went upstairs into her closet and looked for something to wear. Though he had hidden this fetish from Trudy, he had a fascination with women’s undergarments. The feel of silk always made him a little more uninhibited and was the reason he usually insisted on her wearing it to bed and even during sex. He rustled through her drawers still having a hard-on that wouldn’t quit. He decided to put on her red crotchless teddy and her high heels.
He fumbled putting it on and almost gave himself a hernia from the straps against his groin. He tried not to bend his dick backwards as he pushed it out the front of the teddy’s opening. Looking in the mirror he took some deep red lipstick and messily applied it to his lips.
In the corner of the closet he found a brown paper bag. As he opened it he remembered ordering it after watching Nikki Tyler in a porno movie and getting all excited and whacking off for hours about it. It was one of those fake bottoms made out of rubber and supposedly had the feel and texture of the real thing. There was even a picture of her for the pillow so you could imagine it was her you were screwing instead of a rubber attachment.
Kyle had an extreme hard-on working and didn’t want to waste it, so he figured he’d practice before the wife came home. The feel of the lingerie made him horny and the Viagra had him feeling adventurous, so he placed the toy on the bed as if she was bent over in front of him and plunged his stiffness deep into the asshole of the toy. He attempted anal sex with it because Trudy didn’t believe in it. He found Trudy’s vibrator in her nightstand and decided to see what the big deal was so he slid it painfully into his own anus.
He was now thoroughly stimulated and felt empowered by the ultimate erection so he viciously screwed the toy. After a few deep strokes he felt a tightening around his penis. He slammed hard into the anus of the attachment and realized he couldn’t withdraw himself out of it.
What the FUCK? Kyle thought and stood up with the rubber torso stuck firm against his body.
He looked at the box and discovered a warning that a hole needed to be cut at the base of the toy for disposal of the, uhhhhhh, fluids. If there isn’t a hole, there is the danger of causing a vacuum and a vapor lock, then having to wait for the erection to go down or go to the hospital to have it removed.
Kyle was suddenly terrified. He tugged and pulled frantically trying to get the fricking thing off. The extra pulling and tugging only excited him more. No matter how hard he tried, everything he did seemed to make it worse.
“What the hell am I supposed to do now?”
As he stood panic-stricken in the living room, the door opened and Trudy looked to see her husband, holding a jar of Vaseline, standing in a crotchless teddy, high heels and red lipstick, with a 12-inch vibrator in his ass and a rubber fuck-toy attached to his penis.
“OH MY GOD?!?!?” Trudy screamed, almost vomiting at the sight.
Kyle’s boss walked in after bumping into Trudy at her work. They had discussed Kyle’s big promotion and she asked him to come over for dinner as a surprise.
The loud scream and thud from Kyle fainting could be heard for miles.
The hospital was able to remove the toy easily, but when he felt the vibrator embedded itself into his bowel cavity and they had to operate and do a sphincterectomy. Kyle can now fart and not make any noise. You’ve probably seen him on Jerry Springer.
The Long Nights, Part 1
The long day’s work made Melissa tired. She felt exhausted and her body ached. Sitting in front of a computer all day didn’t help. Her eyes felt like they weighed ten pounds. She had her caramel French vanilla frappacino waiting for her as she slipped into her flannel pajamas. Then she parked herself in the la-z-boy for some premium chilling and relaxing. But there wasn’t anything on TV except a few badly acted R-rated Skin-e-max movies, and the TV flickering light through the dark, quiet apartment sent her into a badly needed sleep.
Melissa awoke to a bright light shining in through her window. She rubbed her face and scratched her ass, as she walked over to close the blinds. Glancing across the alley to the cross view apartment, she saw a very well-dressed man looking into a walk-in closet and tossing some clothes onto his bed. Melissa was about to shut her blinds, when she saw him undoing his tie and unbuttoning his shirt.
Interesting, she thought.
He slid his tie up over his well-groomed, thick black hair and pulled off his shirt. His chest was tanned with not too much hair on it, and he was very muscular. Not overly buffed out but nicely cut.
Melissa found his unwitting striptease extremely erotic and entertaining. Am I wrong to be watching this stranger undress? As he unbuckled his belt, she knew she was doing the right thing.
His white underwear clashed with his tanned muscular legs. She was hoping he needed to change them also. He turned around and slid them down his legs, kicking them aside. The muscles of his ass flexed and rippled making Melissa salivate. Walking to his dresser, he hung out in all his glory. Melissa grasped her crotch in a reflex, seeing something so beautiful. He wasn’t hung like an elephant, but he certainly had nothing to be modest about. From Melissa’s point of view he filled out his boxers rather well, especially because as he put on a pair, the tip of his cock peeked out the leg of the shorts. Melissa found herself drooling as she stood motionless in the shadowed window.