“I’m not. Just defensively curious.”
“You still trust me?”
“Who else am I going to trust? Kasabian? He’d sell me for a dozen glazed if he thought he’d get his body back.”
“No, he wouldn’t.”
“You don’t know him like I do.”
“And you don’t know him like I do.”
Downstairs, Kasabian and Vincent are watching A Hard Day’s Night. Vincent was singing along when I came in through the store. The sound comes up through the floor. I want to choke him.
“This stuff you can’t tell me . . . is it Jade stuff?”
“Some is. Some isn’t.”
“So there’s that much. Does this have anything to do with Rinko? She came by the other day, didn’t she?”
“Yes.”
“Are you still in love with her?”
Candy leans back on the couch, crosses her arms.
“I was never in love with her. But if you’re asking me the bigger question, yes, sometimes I miss dating women.”
“That’s not something you have to hide from me.”
“There’s just been so much craziness and now I’m not even me anymore. I don’t know what I want.”
“I’m not about to stop you if you want to be with Rinko or anybody else. Just be honest with me.”
She frowns.
“Hey, why is this only about me? This was about you trying to get shot the other night.”
“I’ve been shot plenty of times. I’m not that afraid of it. Not when it’s important.”
“What about me? I’m afraid. Do I get a say in you putting yourself out as a target all the time?”
The back of my neck itches. Can’t tell if it’s real or just nerves. I rub it with the palm of my hand, thinking.
“Okay. Point taken. I was just mad then.”
“You’re always mad and then you can’t think. That’s what I mean. Maybe you should talk to Allegra about it.”
“Not now. Not when I’m being pushed. I won’t push you about your secrets and you won’t push me on this. All right?”
“Yeah. Okay,” she says quietly. “You are mad at me.”
“A little. Don’t talk about me behind my back anymore, even if it’s for my own good.”
“I can do that.”
Candy opens the laptop again and bookmarks the page on the screen, keeping her eyes down.
“Are you going to go out now?” she says.