“All I’m saying is that your fight-or-flight response is dialed up a little high and it’s something you might want to look into.”
“You mean I need a shrink. No thanks.”
She takes a sip of her coffee.
“Aren’t you going to drink yours? It’ll get cold.”
I set down the paper clip and pick up the mug, but I don’t drink.
“Consider this,” Julie says. “If you’d finished your psych evaluation forms when you worked for the Golden Vigil, they would have paid you what they owed and you’d be a wealthy man right now. But you didn’t do it. I wonder why?”
“I don’t know. Maybe I was busy saving the fucking world.”
“You’re always saving something or killing something or chasing cars. You scare people, Stark. You scare your friends. You scare me sometimes. You scare Chihiro.”
I thought the two of them were talking about the case this morning. Is this what’s going on behind my back?
I set down the mug.
“Thanks for your concern, and don’t take this the wrong way, but there are two things in this world I don’t respond well to: threats and interventions.”
“This is a conversation over coffee, not an intervention. And don’t go looking for threats where there aren’t any. That’s exactly the kind of thing I’m talking about.”
The only thing worse than being threatened is being told you’re not being threatened. No way I’m drinking my coffee. There could be Prozac in there or an evil Vigil feel-good powder. I don’t want some psych poison telling me how to think.
When I stay quiet, Julie says, “You’re going to burn out and you won’t be good for anyone, including yourself.”
“I handled the arena. I can handle this.”
“What about Chihiro? Do you think she’s all right with you just handling things?”
“Did she say something to you or is this just coming out of your own skull?”
“Human beings are capable of doing more than just existing. They can be happy.”
I pick up the mangled paper clip from her desk and toss it in the trash can.
“But I’m not human, am I? I’m not a Hellion or an angel or a person. I’m not anything except maybe, as angels like to remind me, an Abomination. Try explaining that to a shrink.”
Julie picks up her mug, starts to take a sip, but sets it aside.
“All right. Let’s forget this for now. I didn’t mean to upset you. But you need to know that there are people worried about you and that they have your best interests at heart.”
“Noted. Now can we get back to work?”
“Of course.”
“You know all about these White Light clowns. Where are they and how are we going after them?”
Julie shakes her head.
“We’re not going to, and when we do, I’ll be the one doing the legwork. I don’t want you running in cutting off any heads.”
“It gets people’s attention.”
“Chihiro is doing some background work on the Legion for me. Right now that’s more important than you skulking around, looking for revenge.”
“Just to be clear, as my boss, you’re officially telling me not to go after them.”