Sandman Slim (Sandman Slim 1) - Page 121

"Wells called me that name in the car. What the hell was he talking about?"

"Please don't use profanity here." She sets the vellum aside. "The marshal was talking about you, you fool. You're Sandman Slim. The monster who kills monsters. Do you think we don't know what you were doing in Hell? Fallen angels are still angels. We notice when someone kills them. You have quite a reputation in the celestial realms. That's why you're here."

"I'm not a monster. I'm just a man."

"You're a monster to someone. In the Inferno, you're the bogeyman who frightens the bogeyman. And you've bought your talent for destruction back here to Earth. That's why you're here. In case you hadn't noticed, this is a job interview."

That's the single scariest thing I've heard anyone say since I came home. And this angel is making my skin crawl in ways that even Mason can't.

"I already have a job, thanks. I run a video store."

"You're weak. I can smell the damage from your recent injuries. That's the only reason you're here and alive. When we thought that you were in league with the Kissi, there was a death warrant on your head. But after your encounter with Josef, that seems doubtful."

"He's a Kissi."

"Of course. I thought that you would have understood that by now."

"I think I met one in Hell once. In the arena. Is that possible?"

"Unlike the Hellions, the Kissi can move anywhere in the universe, including into and out of Hell. So, yes, you could have easily met one. What happened?"

"Lucifer was pissed. He threw the thing out."

"No doubt hoping it would return to Earth to wreak havoc and leave his disgusting kingdom to him alone. How brave."

"He did walk right up to it and order it out. Have you ever walked right up and started a fight with a Kissi?" She doesn't answer. "Anyway, if something's upset the balance of the universe, it probably means that we're looking for the same person. Mason Faim."

"Excellent. We have a common enemy. You'll join the Vigil and we'll fight the forces of chaos together."

"No thanks. Your little war sounds like fun, but I have my own work to do."

Aelita says, "This is God's work."

I get up from the table and walk away across the room. I need to be careful. I don't want to say the wrong thing when she knows that I'm hurt. The bullets in my chest are playing soccer with my ribs. I'd filled Mason's lighter earlier, so I take out my cigarettes and spark one. Take a couple of big puffs and flick the ashes onto her altar. I'll admit it. I'm not good at careful.

"Where was God when I was stuck in Hell?" I ask her. "If you knew about Sandman Slim, then you knew I'd been dragged down there alive and was being tortured. But you hosanna-singing sons of bitches couldn't spare one lousy angel to help me out?"

"Maybe God thought you were where you belonged."

"He was right. You know why? Because I got to see exactly how the wheels turn in that part of the universe. Now you've given me a little snapshot of Heaven. You Heaven-and-Hell types are just the same shakedown artists in different uniforms. I've only been kidnapped twice in my life. Once by Lurkers and now by an angel."

"You understand that since none of Lucifer's fiends can leave Hell, it must have been Kissi who dragged you down, probably in league with your friend Mason."

"Thanks. When I'm done with Mason, I'll know who to go after next." I grind the remains of my cigarette into the altar and leave them. "All of you celestial pricks. Lucifer's psychos and God's lapdogs, you're out for yourselves, just like everybody else. You don't care about the world. You cut a deal with the Kissi. I wonder why?"

Aelita stands, very tall and straight, with her hands folded in front of her.

"Tell me. Enlighten me, Sandman Slim."

"Because they made it to Heaven. Got right up to the gates. So, you cut a deal. You sent the wolves down here among the sheep and asked the wolves to behave. And if they didn't, oh well. It's just a few ewes being slaughtered. But now the wolves are hungrier than ever, and you know that sooner or later, they're going to come knocking on Heaven's door."

Aelita shakes her head and gives me that creepy, benevolent-angel smile again.

"You make me so sad, James."

"Don't call me that."

"All right, Sandman."

Tags: Richard Kadrey Sandman Slim Fantasy
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