Sandman Slim (Sandman Slim 1) - Page 27

"Thank you, old man."

"Salut," he says, and holds out his glass. I clink mine into his.

When I finish the cigarette, I take out the knife I used on Kasabian and pry up some boards under the coffee table. The oilcloth wrap containing my father's guns is still there. I pull out the bundle and set the guns on the table, one by one. A good copy of an 1861 Navy Colt revolver, modified for modern .44 caliber shells. A heavy Civil War-era LeMat pistol. A Browning .45 semiauto my granddad used on D-day. And a Benelli M3 shotgun. They all need a good cleaning before I can use them.

Something flashes through Vidocq's mind. I only catch a fragment of it before he pushes it away. Seeing it feels like a migraine coming on, a knife behind my eyes.

"What's wrong?" asks Vidocq.

"There's something funny going on with my head. I keep feeling and hearing things I shouldn't. Like right now you're sweating and your heartbeat is going up. Like maybe you're a little afraid."

"You're back here from Hell, talking about murder, and you're pulling guns from under my floor. Shouldn't I be a little frightened for both of us?"

"There's other things, too. I've turned kind of death-proof. I can get shot, ripped apart, dropped in a Cuisinart, and I just get up and walk away. I don't understand what's happening to me."

"You fall into the Abyss a young magician and you emerge as Superman. How is that possible?"

"You're the one with the all the books. You tell me."

"Perhaps, like me, you were cursed with an inability to die."

"What happened to you wasn't a curse. You just decided it was. Besides, if anything, those Downtown demonfuckers would make me easier to kill so I'd get back there quicker."

"Perhaps it's simple biology. You're the first living man to have entered Hell. Your condition might be a natural biological response. A side effect of having been in that awful place. Perhaps you should be grateful that you have this new gift to accentuate your natural magical abilities."

"I don't trust it. It means something I can't figure out. Or it's a setup. Nothing that happened down there was for my benefit."

"We'll know in time, then. Your friends in Hell will be after you soon, I suppose?"

"Eventually, but not now. There's a war going on down there. It's fucking chaos."

"Lucky you."

"Lucky me."

I get a dish towel from the kitchen, bring it back to the living room, and use it to wipe the dust from each gun. Even though I had them in the oil wrap, I can see traces of rust. I'll have to clean them for real later.

"So, what was it like in Hell? Did you try to escape? You were always such a clever magician."

"Clever magic doesn't get you much down there. Even when I got stronger, I couldn't cast the simplest hex until I started learning Hellion magic."

"Is that how you got away?"

"No. I was the property of Azazel, one of Lucifer's generals. He made me his designated hitman. He said that Alice would be all right, as long as I played along."

"And then she wasn't all right."

"I don't know how I knew, but I did. It's like these new things I can hear and feel." I gulped some wine. "Before I left, I cut out Azazel's heart and left it on his altar."

"How did you get out?"

"A key. A key to anywhere in the universe I want to go."

"Do you have it with you?"

"It's right here," I say, putting my hand on my chest like I'm about to say the Pledge of Allegiance. "Over my heart. I took his knife, cut myself open, and put the key inside. Now I can walk through shadows to the Room of Thirteen Doors. Go anywhere I want, anytime I want. Back to Hell. Maybe Heaven, too. I don't know. I haven't opened all thirteen doors."

"You put the key inside you? And it was made with Hellion magic? It will poison you."

Tags: Richard Kadrey Sandman Slim Fantasy
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