‘That’s rough,’ Caitlin said huskily. ‘Johnny, my brother...he went through a wild stage after our folks died. It was tough on Mary, she was so young. She had to drop her place in college to be there for us.’
She plucked at the label on the beer bottle, reminding Liam of the night they met. ‘He did calm down after a while, went to college to get a degree as an architect, but he dropped out in his final year, which was part of the reason they rowed so much. Putting the two of them in a room together was like mixing two explosive substances.’
‘Where were you during all this?’
She looked at Liam and she blinked, as if no one had ever asked her that before, and shrugged before saying, ‘In the middle. Trying to keep the peace.’
Liam could imagine all too well how she must have subjugated her own desires to keep her family happy. On top of the trauma of losing both parents so young. He might have lost his, too, to a certain extent, but they were still alive. As dysfunctional as they might be.
He didn’t see his mother and sister much, but they loved him. And so did his dad, in his own fucked-up way.
Caitlin was sitting cross-legged with her hair up in a ponytail and looking sexily dishevelled in worn jeans and a T-shirt. Liam had never seen anyone more beautiful and then she looked at him with a shy glance and he had to bite back a groan. Just like that he was sporting a raging erection, his jeans tight around his crotch. The masculine pride he’d felt when her body had tipped over the edge around his...was the sexiest experience of his life to date.
‘You know...earlier...’ She trailed off and her cheeks suffused with colour. Liam had to ball his hands into fists to stop himself from pulling her into his lap. She looked so embarrassed now, she could only be thinking of one thing.
‘When I spanked you?’
More colour. And then she looked at him defiantly, ‘Yes. When you spanked me. How did you know I’d like it?’
That mix of shyness and spikiness made Liam’s libido surge.
‘Because I saw something familiar...I recognized those looks you gave me. Your interest.’
She frowned. ‘What do you mean?’
Jesus. Truth-serum time again. He wondered vaguely if she was spiking his drink. And yet, it was surprisingly easy just to talk. To let the words spill out.
‘My first girlfriend...’ He grimaced when he thought of Julie. ‘That’s not entirely accurate, we were never boyfriend and girlfriend. Julie was older than me, a grad student. Blonde, icy cold and more beautiful than anything I’d ever seen. A WASP through and through, from the Upper East Side. I was seventeen, as green as they come, and she came into the bar with a group one night, they were slumming it on the Lower East Side.’
* * *
I wasn’t really sure I wanted to hear this story and I already hated Julie. Liam looked at me but he was seeing something else.
‘She seduced me. I hadn’t a hope. I’d never met anyone like her.’
‘So you said,’ I muttered caustically.
His gaze narrowed and I cursed my mouth, but he went on. ‘Anyway, she was into kink, and dominance. I hadn’t a clue about any of this stuff and it blew me away...at first. I think because there was so much going on in the bar...with Dad...that I revelled in handing over control to her.’
His mouth tightened. Now I hated Julie even more.
‘I grew to resent her for it, though. Things got heavy. I wasn’t a natural submissive. Once the novelty had worn off, I didn’t like feeling out of control...so it ended.’
Something dark made me blurt out, ‘Have you done what we did...with anyone else?’
Liam’s gaze rested on me and he was back in the room. He shook his head. ‘No.’
I didn’t like how relieved that made me feel. Feeling acutely shy, I said carefully, ‘I think...I liked it because I’ve always been the good girl...never stepped out of line.’ My heart sped up to realize I was unlocking the reason why I’d found it so hard to come before now.
‘I’ve never really let go...since my folks died and Mary and Johnny went to war, I always felt like I had to lock something inside me, not let it out in case it tore us apart completely.’
I was almost afraid to look at Liam, but when I did he just said softly, ‘I know what that feels like.’
His gaze dropped to my mouth. He made a jerky move and reached across to wipe his finger against my lower lip. When he took it away I could see a smidgen of sauce. He put his finger to my mouth and lust surged inside me, hot and intense. Immediate. A blessed distraction from a confessional I’d never intended giving. The revelation that still made me reel slightly.
I sucked his finger into my mouth and ran my tongue around it, wishing it was his cock. Heat filled his eyes and he muttered shit, and took his finger away. I released it with a wet sucking sound. Liam said shit again.
The sky had darkened around us, lights were coming on in the windows of the tall buildings and on the bridge, making it sparkle. I felt slightly disembodied. Liam started clearing up our impromptu dinner and then he stood up and held out a hand, ‘Come on, let’s get out of here.’