Can I? Can I hug her without letting my feelings spiral out of control? Hell no, but that’s not going to stop me. If the woman I love—the mother of my child—needs a hug, she’s getting a damn hug.
I take a step forward, and next thing I know, Adley throws herself at me. For the first time in two weeks, I feel an iota of peace.
Her fists clench against the back of my shirt, and I tighten my hold on her as she sobs against my chest.
Holding her in my arms is like coming home. It’s familiar and comfortable and perfect, and how in the hell am I supposed to let her go?
I’m not. It’s as simple as that. I’m going to follow her around like a puppy for the rest of my life, and I’ll happily take whatever scraps she’s willing to throw my way.
She must be using her female voodoo mind to read my thoughts, because she tightens her arms around me as though she, too, is afraid she won’t be able to let go.
“I miss you.” Her warm breath fans my neck. Without letting me go, she reaches up and wipes her face. “I miss touching you and kissing you. I miss cuddling up next to you at night and feeling the warmth of your body in the morning. I miss the way you’d stop what you were doing to quiz me. I just miss you. I miss everything about you.”
“Adley.” Pressing my face against her hair, I breathe in her vanilla scent. “I’m not going anywhere, I promise. I will always be here for you. Always.”
Shaking her head, she steps back. “You don’t understand.”
I’m forced to let her go, and when my arms fall from her body, she catches my hand.
“Then explain it to me, baby. Tell me what you need—what you want—and I’ll give it to you.”
“You.” Her bright eyes shine up at me, and with that one word, she steals the breath from my lungs. “I want you, and I need you.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I love you. I love you, Lincoln, and I never should’ve pushed you away. I shouldn’t have challenged you to prove your love to me. I know you love me. I knew it the second the words left your mouth, but I’d just found out I was pregnant, and I was terrified. And I’d heard you say all those horrible things to your dad, so all I could think about was protecting myself and the baby. And then I wanted to make sure you were sure, not just reacting to me the way you’d reacted with your dad, and…” She sucks in a breath and blows it out. “Can you forgive me?”
Is she crazy? She has nothing to apologize for. “There’s nothing to forgive.” Wrapping her beautiful face in my hands, I rest my forehead against hers. “I’m the one who needs forgiveness.”
She’s shaking her head before I get the words out. “No. You tried to tell me you didn’t mean it. You tried to explain yourself, but I was being stubborn, and I pushed you away out of fear when I should’ve been holding you close. I held you at arm’s length because—”
I touch a finger to her lips. “You don’t have to explain yourself, sweetheart. I know how it sounded, and you were right to push me away. We were both wrong. I think this is one of those moments when we’re just going to have to forgive each other and move on.”
“I think we can do that.”
We hold each other for several minutes, and the need to reassure her of something grows with each passing second. Or maybe I need to reassure myself.
“I swear to you that I will never turn into my parents. I will never treat you or our kids the way my parents treated each other and Chloe and me.”
“You think I was worried about that?” Adley shakes her head and looks at me thoughtfully. “You are not your parents, Lincoln.”
“I know. I know that now, but…” I shake my head, not wanting to go back to that place.
“Lincoln, you are the most wonderful, caring man I have ever met. You will never turn into your parents because you’re everything they aren’t.”
“I’ll never let you down again. I will never hurt you.”
“I know you won’t. And I won’t let you down. You tried to apologize and tell me how you felt, but I shut you out. I wouldn’t listen, and I regret that more than anything. By the time I got over myself, I’d already issued a challenge, and I didn’t know how to tell you I’d made a mistake. Plus, I wanted you to be sure. If you were going to change your mind… I waited for you to do something, but you didn’t. And then there you were at my parents’, and you looked happy—happier than I’ve seen you in a long time—and I wasn’t a part of that and—”
“You were the reason for that, Adley. Don’t you see? You were the reason I was there. You were the reason I started looking at life differently. You’re the reason I put my house on the market.”
“You what?”
“I’m selling my house. That’s why I was on the phone when we first got here. I was supposed to meet with the realtor, and I needed to reschedule.”
I’m still stuck on the selling part. “Why are you selling your house? Your whole life is in Houston. Your dad, Chloe, your friends—”
“But you’re here. And they aren’t my whole life—a big chunk of it, yes, but you’re my whole life. You told me to prove it, and that’s what I’m doing. I’m going to have to go back to Houston a few nights a week for a while to check on Dad. And then from time to time after that. He’s sort of growing on me. Surprisingly enough, I like hanging out with the dude. He isn’t so bad when he’s sober….”