Logan and I didn’t make love that night. We just held each other until we fell asleep. For the first time in a very long time, I had dreams about Cassie that had me waking up in the middle of the night, gasping to catch my breath. I wished I had my sleeping pills with me, then shook off the thought as I remembered how Kristina had tried to kill herself.
It was a long time until I was finally able to fall back asleep, only to be met with nightmares about Cassie’s death again.
Chapter Fourteen
Mack didn’t call until almost three o’clock in the afternoon the next day. He told us he had settled Kristina back into her hotel and that he was having dinner with her tonight.
“Do you want to join them?” I asked Logan after he had hung up the phone and told me about their conversation. He raised his eyebrows in surprise.
“Does that mean you’re okay with us spending time with Kristina?”
I sighed heavily. “I don’t know. I resent the fact that she’s putting me in this position, but then I feel like this whole situation is my fault to begin with.”
“Maddie, we don’t need to spend time with her. I only told you about her request for the sake of full disclosure.”
“But do you want to spend time with her?” I asked, fearful of the answer.
Logan didn’t respond right away. When he did, he seemed resigned. “Not for me. I don’t have any desire to spend time with her. But I do admit I feel guilty. Regardless of the lies she told, I feel like it’s my fault because none of this would have happened if I hadn’t lost my damned memory.”
I frowned at him. “That was out of your control. You can’t hold yourself responsible for that.”
Logan rubbed his forehead wearily. “If only I could get my damned memory back.”
“Listen,” I said firmly. “Let’s both stop blaming ourselves. We’ll go to dinner tonight with Mack and Kristina and take it from there. Maybe things will resolve themselves on their own.”
I didn’t believe my words, but I would go crazy speculating on what would happen next. Besides, maybe going to dinner with Kristina would give me insight as to whether or not her motives had changed since her suicide attempt.
We met them at a small Italian restaurant near Kristina’s hotel, which was uncomfortably close to Logan’s apartment. Mack and Kristina had already arrived, and as we approached the table where they had been seated, it took everything I had not to grab Logan’s hand and drag him away. I couldn’t believe how things had changed so quickly in the span of a day. I had been so determined to keep Kristina away from Logan and now I was willingly spending time with her.
Mack got up from his seat when we got to the table. He smiled widely, as if nothing was weird or awkward about the situation, and we were merely a group of friends getting together for dinner.
“Hey, guys,” he said cheerfully. “I’m glad you two could make it.”
As we sat down, Kristina made a concerted effort to avoid eye contact. She kept her gaze on the table, which made things even more awkward. She still looked a little pale and I could see that there were dark circles under her eyes.
We all sat there, in silence, and I couldn’t help noticing how tightly Kristina’s hands were clenched together. As much as I wanted to hate her, her obvious misery made it hard.
“How are you feeling?” I asked gently. Kristina’s eyes flew up to my face at my question, but I couldn’t read her expression.
“Okay, I guess. I’m not sure what Mack told you, but I didn’t try to kill myself. I just took too many sleeping pills by accident.”
Despite not believing her, there was no way I would contradict her. “I know. It’s hard for me to sleep sometimes too, so I have to resort to sleeping pills as well.”
Her lips pressed together, and I wasn’t sure if she was surprised by my attempt at sympathy or thought I was trying to patronize her. Either way, she didn’t respond.
“The food looks really good here,” Mack interjected when no one said anything else. “I already know what I want to order.”
The next few minutes were, thankfully, filled with looking at the menu and ordering our food and drinks from the waiter. I was grateful when the waiter promptly returned with our bottle of wine. If I ever needed liquid courage, tonight was the night.
“Are you doing okay in the hotel by yourself?” Logan asked after the waiter had poured our glasses of wine.
Kristina scowled at his question. “Of course I am. I’m not a child.”
“I didn’t mean anything by it,” he said diplomatically. “I just know it can be hard staying in a hotel long-term by yourself.”
“Hey, I’m alone in a hotel too,” Mack exclaimed, although his tone was jovial. “How come you’re not asking me if I’m doing okay? I get lonely sometimes too, you know.”
Logan rolled his eyes but he was smiling. “Fine. Are you doing okay in your hotel by yourself.”