I was silent for a moment before speaking. “You said that she told you about your relationship with her. Considering how badly she wants to get back together with you, I’m pretty sure she embellished a lot of it. Don’t get me wrong. We weren’t exactly in the right by being together while you two were still in a relationship. But we’ve moved beyond that now. I hate to ask this, but are you sure you’re not leading her on by keeping the lines of communication open with her?” I paused for a moment before continuing, saying what I feared most. “Unless there’s a reason you want to keep in touch with her. Are you considering getting back together with her?”
Logan’s arm was around my shoulders and my stomach lurched when he moved it away. I was relieved when he took both of my hands into his and shifted so he was facing me.
“Maddie, I meant what I said yesterday. Even though I can’t remember our past, I know that we belong together. I can’t explain it, it just feels right.” He gave me a rakish grin. “And what happened between us today just reinforced that feeling.”
I told myself to be content with his answer. It would probably just take time for me not to feel so threatened by Kristina. Distance wouldn’t hurt either. I fervently wished she would just get back on a plane to California and leave us to live our lives in peace.
I changed the topic, not wanting to give Kristina any more headspace. “Do you think you should call your parents and tell them what happened? I think they’d want to know that their son was in an accident and is suffering from memory loss.”
Logan shook his head as he leaned back against the couch, settling his arm around me again. “It would only worry them. They’d probably cut their trip short to rush home, but there’s nothing they can do.” He paused before continuing. “You mentioned before that your dad was going to Florida with his girlfriend. What happened to your mom?” He grimaced. “I’m sorry that I don’t remember.”
It had been a long time since someone had asked me about my mother. It was something I avoided thinking about because she didn’t deserve any headspace.
“She left when I was little. My dad said it was because she was unhappy with her life. She had never imagined being a wife and a mother, but they had gotten married because she got pregnant.” I shrugged. “I guess she decided that it wasn’t the life for her. One day my dad came home and she was g
one. I vaguely remember getting birthday cards for a few years, but then even those stopped. She’s never tried to contact me since then.”
Logan rubbed my shoulder. “I’m sorry. That must have been difficult for you.”
“It was when I was younger, but I guess you can get used to anything.” I leaned my head back so it was resting on Logan’s arm. “My dad tried as much as he could to be both father and mother to me, but it wasn’t easy for him, especially since he’s not naturally an affectionate person. But he tried. I never doubted that he loved me. More importantly, I knew that he would never abandon me, like my mother had. That might not sound like much, but for a little girl who was left by her mother, it meant everything.”
“Do you ever think about trying to find her?”
I frowned. “No. There’s no reason for her to be in my life now. Cassie’s mother was more of a mom to me than anyone else.” I sighed. “That’s why it’s so hard for me to know the state she’s in. I haven’t seen her in a long time because I can’t handle her delusions anymore.”
Logan raised his eyebrows. “What’s wrong with her?”
I tightened my mouth, not wanting to talk about such an awful topic, but maybe it would help Logan regain his memory. “She had a really tough time with Cassie’s death. I mean, what parent wouldn’t? But she pretty much had a nervous breakdown, and her way of coping was to pretend that Cassie was still alive. Her husband lets her live in her delusions. I think he believes it’s the kindest thing to do for her, but I disagree. She’ll never be able to really live until she faces that Cassie is gone.” Just talking about Mrs. Brooks made me unbelievably sad. “I owe her a lot. Cassie and I became best friends in fifth grade and her mother took me under her wing. I wish there was more I could do for her, but I can’t just sit by and watch her sink deeper into her sickness while I’m not allowed to do anything to help her. I haven’t seen her since last year.” I sighed heavily. “I know she was really upset that I didn’t go to their house for Cassie’s birthday this year. She celebrates it like she’s expecting Cassie to walk through the front door at any minute. I just couldn’t do it this year.”
Logan dropped a kiss on my head. “I can’t imagine how awful that must have been for you. I wish I could remember, if only so that you don’t feel so alone with the memories.” He gave me another kiss. “Can you tell me about the good memories with Cassie?”
My heart squeezed with emotion at his request. It touched me that he wanted to know about Cassie. About me. Memory loss or not, Logan cared about me.
We spent the rest of the night talking about Cassie. I pulled out a photo album that dated back to elementary school and spanned all the way to college. Logan looked at all the pictures with interest, especially the college ones where he was included. It must have been disconcerting to see himself in pictures that he couldn’t recall being taken, but Logan took it in stride. As if in silent agreement, we carefully avoided talking about our cheating and Cassie’s death. We only talked about the good memories, and it was both nostalgic and cathartic to relive the past.
It was late when we finally went to bed. I was happy that it was assumed that I was going to stay over. We were both exhausted so we didn’t do much more than cuddle. I had no problems falling asleep in Logan’s warm embrace.
The next morning was sunny but bitingly cold. I made Western omelets for breakfast and Logan was effusive in his praise. We nursed our cups of coffee as we talked about what to do for the rest of the day.
“Do you want to go to the aquarium?” Logan asked.
I paused with my mug halfway to my mouth. “Do you remember our trips to the aquarium?” I asked hopefully. My hopes were dashed when he shook his head.
“No. Did we used to go a lot?”
I swallowed my disappointment and smiled at him. “I used to drag you all the time. I have a slight obsession with sea otters and you used to humor me about it. We would usually go to the Half Pitcher afterwards for their massive plate of nachos.”
“That sounds like a good plan to me,” Logan said, returning the smile. I felt a little flutter of excitement at the way he looked at me. His gaze was full of affection and humor, the way it always used to be before the accident.
We got ready quickly and headed to the aquarium. I turned up the music in the rental car that Logan had gotten after being discharged from the hospital. I felt upbeat and happy. Logan and I were together and we had a day of fun ahead of us. I couldn’t ask for anything more.
We had a great time at the aquarium. Logan seemed to enjoy it as much as I did, not seeming to mind that we spent a long time at the sea otter exhibit. It was late afternoon by the time we got to the Half Pitcher, and the bar was already crowded with patrons watching a football game, but we managed to snag one of the last tables.
I took a sip of the beer we had ordered, looking around at the crowd. I turned back to Logan.
“Does any of this seem familiar to you?”
“I remembered the aquarium, although I don’t remember going there with you.” Logan quirked his mouth. “Sorry. But this place I don’t remember at all.”