Between my anxiety about my relationship with Logan, and Emily potentially moving, the only way I was able to fall asleep that night was with the aid of a few sleeping pills. I promised myself I would give up the crutch of pill popping to fall asleep, but for now it was the only way to get some peace.
Chapter Nine
I anxiously waited for Logan’s call the next day. He had said he would contact me once he was back at his apartment so I could come over. As it got later in the day, I began to worry that he was with Kristina and that was the reason he wasn’t calling me. I couldn’t help but feel angry. Just when things were going well for me and Logan, the unthinkable happened to put us back to square one. Despite his earlier pledge that he knew we belonged together, the reality was he had no loyalty to me. How could he when he didn’t even remember who I was? Sure, we still had a physical connection, but was that enough to sustain a relationship, especially with Kristina breathing down our necks?
I felt like I was going to burst from nervous energy when my phone finally rang. I snatched it up, relieved to see that it was Logan.
“Hi. Are you back home?”
“Yeah, sorry I didn’t call earlier but the doctors insisted on running some tests before discharging me. They finally let me leave when everything came back normal.”
It was a relief to hear Logan’s voice, and I was even more relieved that his delay in contacting me wasn’t due to Kristina.
“Do you want me to come over?” I asked hesitantly. It was the strangest sensation to feel so close to someone, yet also feel like they were a stranger. Prior to his accident, I wouldn’t have thought twice about coming over. Now I had to worry that I wasn’t imposing myself on him.
“Of course. I’m looking forward to seeing you. I assume you know where I live.”
I laughed. Now that I knew he wanted to see me, some of the tension left my body. “Considering I probably spend more time at your apartment than mine, I’m pretty sure I can find it.”
I was eager to see him and rushed to grab my things and shove them into an overnight bag after we hung up. I hadn’t asked whether he wanted me to stay over
, but I made the assumption that I would be spending the night. Now that he was out of the hospital, I needed to push him to remember, and there was no better way than being intimate.
I caught a cab to his place, not wanting to wait for the L train. I waved to his doorman, who smiled and let me up without question. I forced myself to calm down before I rang the doorbell. I had a key I could use, but even though I wanted to push his boundaries, I thought it best not to just barge into his place.
I drank in the sight of him when he opened the door. Seeing Logan against the backdrop of his apartment was so achingly familiar that it sent a rush of emotion through me. I would do anything to get Logan’s memory back.
“Thanks for coming over,” he said with a smile as he stepped back to let me in. Our interactions had a weird mix of formality and intimacy. We had shared an amazing kiss, yet Logan still treated me like a polite acquaintance at times. I was going to make sure that changed tonight.
“Of course,” I said as I dropped my bag next to the sofa. Logan followed me into the living room, stopping a few feet in front of me.
“Would you like something to drink?”
I hadn’t expected this awkwardness coming over to his apartment tonight. I thought once he was out of the hospital, the familiar surroundings would make things easier. Instead, it just made me uncomfortable. I was used to treating Logan’s apartment as my home, and here he was asking if I wanted a drink like I was a guest. It had been easier at the hospital where it was neutral territory.
“Sure,” I said, masking my awkwardness with a smile. I reminded myself that this was a work in progress. It would take some time for us to be completely comfortable around each other again. “I’ll take some of the cabernet sauvignon.”
Logan quirked his mouth. “It sounds like you have a better idea of what I have to drink than I do. I wasn’t even sure I had wine.”
I smiled at him. “We pretty much spent every waking minute together. Actually, the non-waking ones, too. We spend a lot of time at each other’s apartments.”
“I assume all this stuff belongs to you,” Logan said, indicating my belongings that were scattered about the apartment. He raised his eyebrows as he nodded towards a pair of earrings and a couple of bracelets that were sitting on the coffee table. “Unless I forgot that I like to wear women’s jewelry.”
I picked up the earrings. “You actually gave these to me. I saw them at a store and admired them, but I wouldn’t let you buy them for me because you were always buying me stuff.” I smiled at the memory. “You went and bought them later, anyway, and put them on me the next morning while I was sleeping. When I woke up, I didn’t even notice I was wearing them. You spent the entire day trying to surreptitiously get me to notice them. You must have held a mirror up to my face a million times, but I was totally oblivious. I finally noticed them when we were getting ready for bed.”
“Then what happened?” Logan asked, his gaze on my lips instead of the earrings.
“We made love while I wore nothing but the earrings.” My voice was soft as I watched his gaze lift until our eyes met. I recognized the desire I saw in them, and it made me feel hopeful. Whether or not Logan remembered me, he wanted me.
He reached up and softly caressed my ear, that innocent touch sending shivers down my spine. “Put them on,” he said softly.
I followed his request while I kept my eyes on his. His hand slipped lower to the neckline of my sweater, his finger hooking underneath it, grazing back and forth, sending goose bumps throughout my body.
“Why don’t we recreate that night? Take off your clothes.”
I breathed in deeply, surprised by his request. I hadn’t expected him to move this fast. But I wasn’t complaining.
“Anything in the name of helping you regain your memory,” I said with an impish smile. I was acutely aware of his intent gaze as I grabbed the bottom of my sweater and pulled it over my head. I tossed it to the floor and undid my jeans, pulling them down and stepping out of them. Logan’s gaze roamed by body, and everywhere it touched grew hot. My breathing started to grow heavy as I reached behind me to unclasp my bra. I let it fall to the floor so I was bared to him. My breath caught when he raised a hand to flick one of my nipples that was already hard and aroused.