I shrugged nonchalantly. “It doesn’t matter. It’s probably better that she’s here.” I let my gaze drift, idly studying the noisy bar to break eye contact with him. The crowd was already turning raucous, and I knew from experience that it could get pretty crazy on a Friday night. “I haven’t been here in forever.”
Logan seemed to take my lead and let the conversation turn casual. “I thought you would be here every weekend with how much you love the nachos.”
I made a face at him. “You’re the one who was obsessed with them! The only reason I came here so often was because you dragged me.”
“It was only fair recompense for having to go to the aquarium so damn much.”
The smile that had been playing around the edges of my mouth disappeared. I hadn’t been to the aquarium since Logan had left because it was where the beginning of the end had started. “I haven’t really been to the aquarium much, either.”
Logan frowned. “Why not? You love that place.”
“I’ve just been too busy, I guess,” I lied. I grabbed onto the first topic I could think of to change the subject. “How’s work?”
“Good, nothing too interesting.”
I pushed Logan to give me more details because it was a safe topic of conversation. He humored me with his answers, although I could tell that the last thing he wanted to talk about was work. Kristina was taking forever in the bathroom, and I was actually relieved when I saw her making her way back to the table.
“The line was huge!” she said as she sat back down.
“It gets pretty crowded here on Friday nights,” I said. “Just wait a couple more hours. It’ll be even crazier.” Work had been a safe topic with Logan, so I latched onto the same subject with Kristina. “How was your first week at your new job?”
I kept her talking about her work, only half-listening because I was too busy thinking of the next question to ask her so there wouldn’t be a lull in the conversation.
My tactic worked to fill the silence, but keeping the conversation going was tiring. I was relieved to see the waitress coming over with our nachos and pitcher of beer.
“Oh my God, you weren’t kidding,” she exclaimed after the waitress had set our food and pitcher on the table. “This is huge!”
“I always regret it the next morning,” I said as we dove into the nachos. “But I can never resist them.”
As we ate, I noticed Logan pushing all the jalapenos in my direction. For some reason, knowing that he hadn’t forgotten how much I loved them made my chest tighten a little. I didn’t look at him as I continued to eat because I was dangerously close to crying, and I knew looking at him would send me over the edge. It was stupid to get so emotional over some damn jalapenos, but in that moment, they represented everything I had lost.
“Do you mind if I grab some jalapenos?” Kristina asked me, breaking through my misery. “They’re all congregated on your side. I don’t want you to think I’m a jalapeno thief.”
Her tone was joking and she seemed completely unaware of the connotations of her comment. I tried to smile at her as I grabbed a fork and pushed them over to her side. “Go ahead. I don’t even like jalapenos.” I jumped up from the table without looking at Logan. “Excuse me. I have to go to the restroom.”
I had almost made it to the bathroom when the tears started spilling down my face. Fate, for once, must have been on my side because miraculously there was no line to the bathroom. I pushed open the door and locked myself in the first empty stall and started to sob, trying to be quiet so that the other women in the bathroom wouldn’t hear me.
The constricted pain in my chest didn’t loosen as I let the tears flow. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t watch Logan be with some other woman. Cutting him out of my life couldn’t be more painful than witnessing him with someone else.
It took me a while to stop crying, and I took in deep breaths to calm myself. When I finally came out of the stall and looked in the mirror above the sink, it was obvious from my blotchy face and red eyes that I had been crying. I frowned at my reflection as I washed my hands.
“Are you okay?” a girl standing at the next sink asked me sympathetically.
“Yeah, thanks for asking,” I said with a wan smile. “It’s just been one of those weeks.”
She nodded in understanding. “I know how that goes.”
Despite her kindness, I was relieved when she left the bathroom without asking any more questions. I stayed in the bathroom a little longer until my eyes were no longer red and I looked presentable again.
The crowd and music hit me when I stepped out of the bathroom, and I debated making the excuse of not feeling well so I could make my escape. I was halfway to the table when a tall man with dark brown hair and an easy grin stopped me.
“Why are you looking so down?” he asked with a charming smile. “It’s the start of the weekend. You should be happy.”
Despite finding him attractive, the last thing I wanted was be hit on by some random stranger.
“I have to get back to my friends,” I said, ignoring his question.
“Let me at least buy you a drink to put a smile on your face. It’s my civic duty as a good Samaritan.”