The venom in his voice ratcheted up my anxiety. “What’s wrong?” I asked, confused.
Adam jerkily motioned in front of him with his hand. I looked in the direction of his gesture, and swallowed hard. With Logan and I spending so much time together, it was inevitable that some of our belongings were scattered about at each other’s apartments. A pair of his cufflinks sat on the coffee table, and the monogrammed letters of his initials were clearly evident.
“Adam,” I started, not knowing how much I should tell him, but he cut me off before I could continue.
“Shut up!” he spat out, his voice seething. “I don’t want to hear your lies. I was a fucking moron for believing there was nothing between you two all this time. How long have you been screwing each other?”
“There was nothing going on between us while we were together. It happened afterwards.” I figured there was no point in trying to explain exactly what had been between Logan and I before the night we decided to give our relationship a try. Hell, I wasn’t even sure what had been between us before then, so I wouldn’t know how to explain it to Adam. Besid
es, it was better for Adam to believe that Logan and I hadn’t started dating until after we had broken up, which was the truth.
Adam laughed bitterly at my claim. “Right. We’ve barely been broken up for two weeks, and I’m supposed to believe that you weren’t fucking around with him while we were together?”
Adam had never been one to curse, and I didn’t know if it was the influence of the alcohol, but his behavior was beginning to make me nervous. I had never seen him like this, but I tried to tell myself his rage was understandable.
“I know it’s hard to believe,” I said calmly, trying to keep things civil. “But it’s true. Logan and I were just friends while you and I were together.”
“Not only are you a slut, but you’re a goddamned liar, too.” He was nearly frothing at the mouth as he glared at me, and I decided that enough was enough. I stood up and crossed my arms against my chest.
“You’re drunk and in no state to have a civil conversation. You should leave.”
“I should leave?” Adam mimicked with a mocking look. “I should fucking leave? Don’t look at me like I’m the one who did something wrong. I don’t know how I let you dupe me all this time.”
I made a move to walk towards the door but he grabbed my arm before I could get far. I gasped when he pulled my wrist so hard that it felt like my arm was going to pop out of its socket. My anxiety level was at an all-time high. Adam wasn’t in his right mind, and I was afraid of what he might do. I didn’t recognize the man seething in front of me.
“You’re hurting me!” I exclaimed as I tried to twist my arm free. “Let go!”
Adam did the exact opposite and pulled on my arm even harder, causing me to fall back on the couch painfully onto my side. I tried to push myself back to get away from him, but he still had a manacle grip on my wrist.
“You’ve been a waste of three years,” he snarled. “Don’t think I really even wanted to get fucking married to you. You were nothing but a convenient date to have around, and a regular screw. My mother was the one pissing and moaning about me settling down.”
I was shocked by the virulence spewing from Adam. I had only met his mother a few times, but she had always been gracious and pleasant—the epitome of a genteel woman who came from old money. I had gotten along well with her, but it had never gone beyond a few lunches and dinners when she was in town. We had a friendly but distant relationship, and I never expected her to be the one behind Adam proposing to me.
“She said she wanted me to get married and have kids. To find some stability.” Adam sneered at the idea of that. “She wanted me to get a fucking nine-to-five job so I could suffocate to death in some goddamn cubicle. She threatened to stop helping me financially, so I figured I’d give her at least one of her wishes to appease her.” He glared at me as he continued to speak. “That was before I knew you were a two-timing bitch.”
I yanked my arm back, finally succeeding in freeing myself from Adam’s grip. I had been feeling so guilty about turning Adam down, only to find out his proposal had been motivated by the fear of his parents pulling their financial support. It had nothing to do with his feelings about me. I felt a surge of anger overtake me.
“So that was all bullshit about you wanting to spend the rest of your life with me,” I spat out. “Excuse me if I don’t feel bad about breaking up with you when the only reason you proposed was because mommy wanted you to.”
My taunting words only enraged Adam more, and I bit back the rest of what I had been about to say. My anxiety about Adam’s behavior had been momentarily forgotten in my own rage, but when I saw the way his face darkened at my words, I was reminded that he wasn’t in his right state of mind.
Despite my fears, I was totally unprepared for the back of his hand that came crashing down against my cheek with brute force. I was thrown back against the couch and there was a ringing in my ears as my face throbbed painfully. I tasted blood in my mouth where my teeth had cut the inside of my cheek, and I instinctively shrank back when he made a move towards me.
“Don’t you ever talk to me like that,” he spat out, his face flushed with rage. “You’re nothing compared to me! You come from some backwoods family from some white trash town. Your own mother couldn’t stand you enough to stick around. I have no idea why my mother even wanted me to marry you when you come from nothing.” He pushed his face closer to mine. “And don’t think you’re the only one who was screwing around. You’re a joke in the bedroom. I had to fuck other women to get any sort of satisfaction because you were such a disappointment. All those times I told you I was with Sam, I was really fucking another woman. Sam doesn’t even exist. It was just my excuse to get the hell away from you.”
My anxiety vanished, replaced by rage. Out of all the ugly things that Adam was spewing, the only thing that knifed my gut was the comment about my mother. I had wrestled with the feeling of abandonment my whole life, and I had shared that fear with Adam, only to have him use it against me now. At this point, I couldn’t care less about the other women he had apparently been cheating with or that Sam had been nothing more than a contrived excuse.
I forcefully pushed his shoulder back so that I could stand up. I was so angry that I was shaking, but I tried to keep my voice steady so that he wouldn’t miss a word I said.
“You’re nothing but a waste of space,” I said, only half-succeeding in preventing my voice from trembling. “You’ve never held a real job a day in your life. You expect your parents to support you while you play out some fantasy that you’re some big time author, when in reality I’ve never seen one word of what you’ve written. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s all a ruse, and the only thing you’re doing is spending your days pissing away mommy’s money. You like to pretend that you live this self-righteous lifestyle, and you’re this spiritual person, but you’re the most materialistic person I’ve ever met. You’re a fake! I know you’re not really vegan! I’ve seen the bacon wrappers in your trash!”
I was screeching by now, and my last statement was laughable but I was so angry that I was using any ammunition I had to try to hurt him. Instead of lashing out in return, Adam’s face turned white as he gaped at me.
“I never knew you felt this way about me,” he said, sounding hurt. I stared at him, not knowing how to handle this sudden shift in him. He had gone from an angry, crazed psychopath to a crushed ex-boyfriend. My anger died as quickly as it had flared to life. There was no point to this conversation. I didn’t want to know the truth about our relationship. His past transgressions were meaningless now, and I just wanted to put the past to rest. My future was with Logan, and Adam had no power to hurt me.
“Just leave,” I said tiredly, emotionally drained by our altercation. “Our relationship is over. No good is going to come out of fighting about our past.”
Adam stared at me for a few moments, and I was afraid that he was going to protest, but he finally stood up and made his way to the front door. I was reminded of how drunk he was when he stumbled along the way, although that didn’t excuse any of his behavior. My cheek still throbbed from his backhand, and I still couldn’t fully comprehend that he had actually struck me.