I turn to face him, tears rushing from my eyes, and I burrow my face into his chest and cry. I sob so loudly that I can hear myself over the fountain and the bustling soundtrack of New York.
“Hey,” he soothes as he rubs my back and kisses the side of my head. “Why is this making you cry?”
I keep crying until my sobs turn to hiccups and my hiccups turn to ragged breaths as I try to regain my composure. Christopher allows me to cry, holding me closely, kissing me, rubbing circles on my back, and simply being there for me. When I finally calm down, he brings me to a two-man chaise lounge and lowers me onto it, then sits beside me. We are overlooking the city now, and the view distracts me from my anguish.
“Okay,” he says softly. “Are you ready to tell me what has you so upset?”
I nod as I wipe at my nose. “I saw Marissa at the party,” I begin.
I feel Christopher’s body tense. “I didn’t know she’d be there. I’m sorry. Did something happen?”
I like that we are sitting side by side. I don’t have to look him in the eyes as I say, “She told me she was with you in LA. That you guys were together at your favorite place when Louisa called, asking you to come home because of me.”
Christopher sits up straight and twists his body so he’s facing me. “Whoa, this is not what it sounds like. I did not go to LA with Marissa.”
My lip quivers as I say, “Please don’t lie to me, Christopher. That’s all I ask. Don’t lie.”
“I’m not lying,” he says with more passion and conviction than I’m used to seeing. “I swear to you. I was in LA, and Marissa showed up. I had no idea she was going to come. It was a complete surprise. I swear.” When I don’t respond but rather narrow my eyes instead, he adds, “I know how this looks. Hell, I’m sure it’s how Marissa wants it to look, but I did not have a getaway with her. That was the first time I had seen her since we first got back, and it was a complete surprise.”
“You didn’t go have drinks with her at your favorite place?” I ask, unsure if I believe Christopher or not. I’ve never known him to lie to me, but it doesn’t make sense how this all could just be a misunderstanding.
He lets out a deep breath. “We had drinks at my favorite bar. I always go there when I’m in LA. And we only went to talk. I felt I owed her that. She deserved to have closure, since I had been avoiding her. That’s all it was.”
“She made it sound like you guys went together and that you were sitting there trying to figure out a way to help me. As a couple. You and her… a couple.” I begin to cry again. I can’t help it, and I’m surprised I even have tears left.
Christopher takes my chin between his fingers and pulls it up so I have to look into his eyes, which do appear to be sincere. “Never, Ember. Never. I told her I love you, and I do. I told her I want you as my wife, and I do. I made it very clear my intentions are to be with you and always you. I need you to believe that. I need you to have faith in that.”
I break free from his hold and look away. “Why would she lie? Why would she tell me the things she did if they weren’t true?”
“Because sometimes hurt people do mean things. And that’s all this is. She’s hurt, and she wants you to hurt too. She doesn’t want us to be together and was trying to cause trouble. I’m sorry, Ember. I’m sorry you had to believe I would do that to you for even a second.” He leans forward and kisses me softly. “Please tell me you believe me.”
“I want to. But a part of me wonders if you’re just saying what I want to hear. If you’re too scared to tell me your true feelings.”
“I’m not going to lie to you, Ember. I’m not. Yes, I’m guilty of not telling you things in order to protect your feelings, and I know it’s wrong. I don’t give you credit for being as strong as you are. I have to remind myself that you’re the woman who helped me burn down a town and escape. There isn’t a weak bone in your body. I’m sorry. I should have told you about Marissa earlier. Do you forgive me?”
I kiss him back as my answer.
I press my tongue into his mouth and swirl it around. I need the familiar taste, his touch, his smell. I consider telling him about Michael, but what will come of that? Christopher will rage and go after him. Christina will find out. And secretly, each person involved will blame me. No, it’s not my fault, but they will. How could they not?