I sigh and look around at the other people in the room, lackies who work for my father, criminals who I would rather not know, waiting for any of them to argue with me but none of them do. Without me even having to explain anything, everyone seems to understand that this is something not to be discussed. Ever.
I’m here now, with all these people, in a very strange environment. This isn’t anything like real life, but reality will come for me eventually and I will have to face it. My life won’t be the same as it was though, it can’t be. That’s impossible. My life isn’t in the shadows anymore now, people know my name, I won’t be able to hide any longer. People know my life story as well. I can’t separate myself from my family.
Perhaps I will even have a relationship with my family these days, who the hell knows.
I shouldn’t be thinking about what comes next while we’re still in the middle of this, but I can’t help myself. I keep drifting off into the unknown, mostly because I don’t want to think about my past.
I mostly don’t want to think about Tia, which is fucking impossible since she’s on every television screen possible. The media are obsessed with her, with us, with what we had once upon a time. They want to know every single damn detail about us which is ridiculous. When you boil it down, we hooked up a couple of times, that’s it. There wasn’t anything serious between us. Only a feeling. A feeling that seemingly only came from me.
Tia never wanted me, I tell myself firmly. I have to remember that.
“Anyone want a coffee?” I ask morosely. I need to do something with my hands.
As everyone pipes up with positive answers, letting me know how they take their coffee even though I’m definitely going to forget in a couple of moments, I sigh loudly. I don’t like this anymore, I don’t want to be here any longer, I just want all of this done. I want the mysterious future of my real life back.
Tick, tick, tick. Even the clock is taunting me, every second is so loud and slow, with still no action…
“Shane!” The way that my dad screams halts me in my tracks. There is something new in his tone that can only mean one thing. Something has happened and I really hope it’s a good thing. “Shane, come here.”
I race to him and see the panic stricken look on his face. “What is it, Dad? What’s going on?”
“I know where she is.” He sounds breathless, stressed. “I know where your mom is.”
Shit. My whole body flip flops. We have been waiting for this moment for a very long time but now that it’s here I’m stuck. I don’t know how I’m supposed to react. It’s all too much. “Where is she?”
“It is the other gang, just like I said to you. She’s at one of their hide outs.”
“So, what are we going to do? What happens now? Do we call the cops?”
“We can call the cops…” he offers despite the fact I know he won’t want that. He won’t want to law involved when he is a criminal himself. This is for my benefit. “Or we can go ourselves.”
“Yeah, let’s go ourselves. We need to get her back and the police will take too long.”
Dad nods and smiles thinly, glad of my decision. “Right come on. Let’s go.”
He turns and walks away from me, and I follow close behind. “How are we getting there?”
“On my bike. You can come on the back with me.”
Dad walks into a room that has guns spread everywhere. I don’t know how I’ve managed to be here for so long and not noticed that there are so many weapons here! This is crazy.
“What…” I gulp nastily. “What are we going to do with these?”
“These guys are getting desperate. Desperation spells danger. I don’t want to risk anything.”
This makes my head spin. I should have guessed that it would end up a bit like this, these are all criminals, but it’s just so fast. I have gone from nothing happening to everything happening all at once. It’s too much.
“You have to be ready for this, Son,” my dad warns me. “We don’t know what’s going to happen. These people started this as revenge, and to extort money. That hasn’t worked.”
This is for Mom, I reassure myself. I can do anything for her.
“Yeah, okay, I’m ready.” I nod, trying to show off my sheer determination. “Dad. Let’s do this.”
He goes to hand me a gun and I hesitatingly take it. It’s heavy between my fingers, the cold metallic weight is more than I thought it would be, but I try not to let that put me off. I might not have to use it if I get lucky anyway. I nod and slide it into the waistband of my belt, trying to act like this isn’t a crazy mess.