“Him as a big-time pro player isn’t going to leave much time for us plebeians back in Gracehaven.” Payton sounded genuinely sad about that truth. “Might want to hope he loses.”
The quick retort I’d planned got stuck in my suddenly clogged throat. Did I want to hope that? Even privately? Conrad would never have to know if I watched the match hoping… No. I would know and that was bad enough. I wanted him to win, even if that might mean losing everything I truly wanted.
“I’m going to root for him,” I said firmly. “And you better too.”
“Aye, aye, Captain.” Payton laughed. “Glad to see your bossy side back. I was starting to worry you’d been replaced by a lovesick pod person.”
“No replacement.” I wasn’t sad about that either. After years of wanting to be someone else, I was plenty happy being myself, being Alden in all my facets. I might have missed out on the med school dream, but what I’d gained this summer was even better. At long last, I finally believed that I was enough, exactly as I was. And even if Conrad and I weren’t meant to be, he’d given me that gift.
“No, that’s not how you attack!” One of the kids in the game near us—a shortish boy with dark hair—stood up, clearly ready to do battle over the rules.
“Is too. It’s a creature. It attacks. And you lose,” a girl with frizzy blond hair insisted.
Despite everything, I couldn’t help but drift closer. “Can I see the card?” I asked, holding out my hand.
“Sure. But he still loses.” The girl scoffed as I studied the card. It was an older one, the sort Conrad always favored, but I’d seen it enough to know how it worked.
“Actually, if you read the card, you can see that this one only attacks with three or more other creatures,” I pointed out gently, crouching down to their level, keeping my voice even.
“Darn.” Deflated, the girl slumped back down. “I need a few more turns.”
You and me both, kid. I nodded. “Yeah, you just need to be patient. You’ll get there.”
Patience. I needed that too. Needed to believe that eventually Conrad and I could figure things out. I took a deep breath as I returned to Payton, trying to embrace patience and a certainty I still didn’t quite have, trying to make sense of everything.
“How are you always so good with kids?” Payton shook their head. “I mean, you barely tolerate the rest of humanity…”
“Kids are easy.”
“You saying I’m not?” A smile tugged at Payton’s mouth. “Just kidding. Arthur should hire you to teach newbie classes back at the store or something.”
Teach. For the first time in years and years, my old dream didn’t seem so silly. Maybe…
“It’s starting!” The kids pointed at the monitors. Knowing how much Conrad had given me, knowing how I felt about him, it was easy to cheer for him as the competitors took their seats. The commentators started hyping the match, talking about how Conrad had come from nowhere to blast through the competition. I frowned. That wasn’t technically accurate. He was made for this moment, and I could admit now that he’d been great for years on the show. He might be a relative unknown, but he wasn’t riding some random winning streak.
Continuing, the commentators seemed biased toward his competition, a dour-faced man in a suit who had narrowly missed qualifying at the last few pro qualifying tournaments and who had a string of regional wins and online records behind him. His suit looked designer, and I had no doubt his decks were full of the sort of expensive, rare cards that often gave Conrad fits to play against. But I had faith in him, tried to beam that confidence toward him. It didn’t matter what the other guy put out. Conrad could win this thing.
However, he lost the initial dice roll, which meant the other guy went first. And of course, he had a turn-one super play, dinging Conrad’s life total right away and establishing himself in superior position to get the scrolls out that he’d need to win. Conrad put out an okay card, not great, and not answering the threat the other guy posed.
“Does he look nervous?” I asked Payton.
“A little.” Head tilting, they frowned. “That wasn’t his smartest move either. He had the ability to go after the other side’s scroll. He should have taken it.”
“Yeah.” Dread started to snake down my spine, making me sweat. Had our argument distracted him too much? A few more turns passed, and on each, Conrad made a move, but not the decisive, inventive play I’d come to expect from him. And not nearly aggressive enough if he wanted to win.
“Come on, Conrad,” I whispered to myself. “Fight back. Believe in yourself.” Because I do, I thought, watching him. But I need you to believe too.