“I don’t feel better! I feel like shit! I need a drink, Gabe, and not a beer. Damn it, my stomach hurts! You must remember how that is—only some tequila or some vodka will help make it bearable. That or drugs. Morphine or Oxy would do it…but I’ll take what you got. ”
“I don’t have any drugs, Nicky. Marco’s blood would help you, if you’d let him feed you more instead of fighting him so hard. ”
“Bullshit. I don’t want to drink from Marco, or see him or even be in the same room as him, I told you. Please Gabe, let me go. I’ll never bother you again. You don’t have to give me any money, or anything. Just let me go. ”
“You’re not going anywhere except back home where you belong,” Marco’s voice sounded behind them at the door.
Nicky bit his bottom lip and turned his head sharply to the side, looking down at the floor. “You gave up your right to make that decision for me,” Nicky said softly.
Marco came in and sat down in front of Nicky on the sofa. Gabe patted Marco’s shoulder and got up to slip out the door, leaving Nicky and Marco alone in the room. Marco said nothing more, just folded his arms across his chest and watched Nicky’s face carefully. Nicky glanced up at him furiously from beneath his lashes. He’d be damned if he’d say anything to the bastard. What the hell was he thinking, sitting there looking all big and bad. Damn wolf! Why did he have to be so gorgeous, and why did Nicky still love the bastard so much?
Marco thought Nicky looked dirty and disheveled. He had shadows under his eyes and badly needed a shave and a haircut, and was way too thin. God, he was absolutely fucking gorgeous, and Marco could barely keep his hands off him. He couldn’t get enough of looking at him, and was content to sit there most of the n
ight if he had to, determined to wait Nicky out. He was dying to feed him again, anything to make him feel useful, like he was doing something for his mate. The strong protective urges were driving him crazy, but Nicky was right. He’d given up any rights he had over him, and now all he could do was hope and pray that Nicky could forgive him and take him back.
When he got the word that Nicky had been found, it was like waking up from a terrible nightmare that wouldn’t end. From the time he found out Nicky was missing, he’d been searching everywhere for him, driving everyone crazy until they came up with fresh ways to try to find him. He had hardly slept from worrying about where Nicky was sleeping, and could barely eat for worrying that Nicky was going hungry. Scouring the nearby hospitals, police departments, and even the morgues, he dreaded what he might find, but had turned up nothing. He didn’t need anyone to tell him what an idiot he’d been because he’d spent the last three months calling himself every kind of fool.
He had castigated, reproved, and mistreated himself until even Logan and Evan had begun to feel sorry for him. Then, that morning when the call came from Zack, he could hardly believe it. Ian and Logan had driven him to Zack’s lodge, because he was shaking so badly he didn’t trust himself behind the wheel. That and the fact that Logan would have killed him if he hadn’t brought him along.
The others had already been out searching for him when they arrived, so leaving Logan with Gabe, Marco and Ian both shifted and ran off into the woods. They’d located the search party soon enough, consisting of Zack, his beta, Jamie, and three more of his gammas. They discovered that it had taken about an hour to get back to the lodge and form a search party after Gabe had seen Nicky. When they got on the scene they soon found that Nicky had evaded immediate capture by running through a stream for a while. It had taken them almost another hour to pick up his trail. It had been sheer luck that Marco, so in tune with Nicky’s sweet scent, had stumbled across it right away on an outcropping of rock off the trail where he’d stopped to rest. Finding him after that was only a matter of minutes. When he’d taken him down, he was still in his wolf form and had sensed Nicky’s fear and anger just before he passed out. Marco had quickly shifted back and tied his ex-lover’s hands. What happened next he would never regret and couldn’t have stopped no matter what. His only hope was that Nicky would forgive him enough to come home with him. He had certainly seemed responsive, even if it seemed almost against his will.
As he sat across from Nicky on the sofa, he wondered just how angry Nicky still was. Nicky kept his head turned away, but Marco could see him sneaking little glances, moving just his eyes. Finally, he blew out a long breath. “Well, damn it. Say something. I’m not getting any younger here. ”
“There’s not much to say, sweetheart, except I love you very much, and I want you to come home. ”
“Oh, just like that, huh? Suddenly you love me, after making my life miserable for months. And for nearly two years before that?”
“Yes. ”
Nicky shot him a hot, furious glance. “Well, tough shit. I don’t love you. ”
Marco nodded thoughtfully. “All right, baby. ”
“Don’t fucking ‘baby’ me! I don’t!”
“I said, all right. ”
“Well, what the hell does that mean? I’m not going back with you, you know. You can’t make me. ”
“Now, baby, we both know I can make you if I want to—stop talking foolishness. ”
Nicky blew out a long breath. “Damn you, Marco. I won’t go home with you!”
“Yes, Nicky, you will. At least for now. I’m trying to give you time to get used to me again, before I take those cuffs off, take you in the bathroom and give you a good bath, which you badly need, by the way. Then I’m going to wrap you up in a blanket and you’re going to ride in my lap all the way home. I’ll probably kiss you most of the way, too, so get ready for that, because I love you even if you don’t love me, and I’m never going to stop. ”
“I-I…damn you, Marco, why won’t you listen to me?”
“Because I want to do what’s best for you, and Zack said your mind was clouded with alcohol and drugs, so I think I know what you really need right now, darling. ”
Nicky made a scoffing sound. “You don’t know the location of your own asshole. ”
Marco smiled and shrugged. “As a matter of fact, I do. Yours too, for that matter. ”
Nicky’s lips twitched, but he still refused to look directly at Marco.
Marco tried again. “I’m not trying to boss you, darling, and I am listening, but right now, you’re not making a lot of sense. Once you’re home and rested and you’re back to your normal self again, you can make decisions about whether or not you’ll forgive me and let me spend the rest of our lives trying to make all this up to you. ” He held up a hand as Nicky started to sputter out a protest. “I know, I can never make this up to you, but I want to try. Just give me a chance, that’s all I ask. Just one chance! I want to hold you in my arms and try to explain how terribly mixed up I was, and how stupid and pigheaded I was too. ”
“I don’t believe a damn word of this,” Nicky said, shaking his head. “You want to control me, possess me again. I tried to do that for you in the past, because I loved you so much. I knew better even at the beginning—I knew I was doing the wrong thing by letting you boss me around so much, by allowing you to think you controlled me because you’re bigger than I am. But I was trying to make you happy, and all it did was drive us further apart. ”