Ian sat quietly beside him on a sofa. The room was neat and orderly, like Ian, and had a restful quality to it. Ian’s wife had decorated the room not long before she died. Rory began to relax ever so slightly.
“How are you feeling, son? Any better?”
Rory nodded, still frowning. “I guess so. I’m worried sick about Casey though. ”
“Do you want to see him?”
“No—yes. ” Rory looked up, his eyes shining with tears. “No—hell, I don’t know. I’m so confused. ”
“What are you confused about?”
“I love him so much—I can’t help it. To me, he’s the most handsome, most sexy man I’ve ever met. When he…when we…you know…I can’t get enough of him. ” Rory blushed furiously, He’d been a virgin, and Casey had blown his mind with his lovemaking. “But if his blood would let him, he’d kill me. I don’t think he’ll ever feel any differently. All he really wants to do is hurt me. How can we have a life together? How can I live like that?”
Nothing seemed to rock Ian. He listened without looking shocked. Rory guessed as loud as they were yelling everyone already knew what was going on.
Ian said, “At least you love him, and it sounds like he has very strong feelings for you, even if he’s really mixed up right now. ”
Rory set down his cup and leaned his head back on the sofa. “I thought so too, in the beginning, before he told me why he came here. He came here to k-kill me, because I killed his brother last year, the man who kidnapped my brother and Nicky. Finding out I was his bloodmate must have freaked him out. ”
“Has he hurt you, Rory? Tell me the truth. ”
“Not really. He did hit me. ”
“He hit you?”
“Well, on the butt. He said it was a spanking, but he forgets how strong he is. It was only once. What really bothered me was what he said afterward. He said he wanted to humiliate me by making me wear the leather pants and collar pets wear so everybody would know I was not a wolf anymore, nothing but a weak pet with no mind of my own. ”
“Why would he say you aren’t a wolf anymore?”
“It’s because of my…you know…my private parts. They look more like a human pet’s than a wolf’s. ” When Ian still looked puzzled, Rory whispered, “N
o knot. ”
“That may to be a result of a wolf mating a wolf, nature’s way of ensuring there is only one dominant when both are male. Since Casey is alpha and you’re gamma, it would naturally be him anyway. ” He considered that for a moment longer before asking, “How do you feel about having Casey dominate you?”
Rory sighed and admitted, “In a way, I don’t really mind that part of it. I’ve never been as muscular and tall as the other wolves. After all, you’re right. He is an alpha. I’d owe him my obedience and allegiance anyway. When I was growing up, for a long time my parents thought I might be a pet. I never minded the idea, but when my wolf matured, I didn’t want to let Marco down. He’s really tried to help me. ”
“Marco wants you to be happy, Rory. That’s all. You’ve got a strange idea about pets. There’s absolutely no shame involved in being one. They’re precious to us. We cherish our pets, and not because we just want someone to control. A wolf’s nature is to dominate. They’re like our other halves. Yin to our yang, I guess. ”
“Yeah, I know that, but it’s a whole different mindset for me. I’ve always been wolf, and even if my knot is gone, I still feel wolf. I don’t know if I could be submissive, depending on him for everything, and I know I can’t be the way Casey says he’s going to force me to be. I can’t trust him either. He lied to me. ” Tears welled up in his eyes again to embarrass him even though Ian ignored them.
“I think we wolves flatter ourselves with the notion our pets are totally dependent on us. My pet was the strongest, smartest woman I ever knew. She couldn’t shift, but she had me to do that for her. I worked for her, Rory, not the other way around. We’d be nothing but animals without them. They truly are our better halves. ”
“But we discipline them and make them mind us and wear collars on their necks. ”
Ian smiled gently. “You’re very young, Rory. Most of that is sex play. They allow us to do that, don’t you see? What are we going to do to them if they say no? We can’t hurt them—it goes totally against our nature. They could totally dominate us if they wanted to. No, they enjoy being taken care of and pampered, and in return they let us pretend we control them. Who goes out and works every day in the cold and rain while the other one stays at home and drinks coffee and reads magazines? Who’s really in charge?
“Not everyone likes it, obviously. The collar is no more than a mark of ownership they allow us to put on them. We’re very jealous of our pets, because we love them so much, and we need them so much. If they left us, we’d die. Wolves are dominants by nature, so we need submissives as our ideal partners. We complete each other, and the dominance is a part of that, but it’s not real, Rory. Do you understand?”
“Kind of, I guess. If it was just sex play like when he spanked me, I could stand it. I might even like it a little, but Casey wants to strip me of everything. He wants to punish me. He said so. ”
Ian shrugged. “Maybe he does, a little. He has whole other issues with you. He’s trying to punish you because he blames you for his brother’s death. I think I need to speak to Casey to make sure of his intentions. It sounds like he might be confused himself. And you need to get the idea that being a submissive is shameful out of your head. Some of the strongest people I know are submissives. Look at Nicky. ”
“True. ” Rory shrugged. “He really does run Marco, doesn’t he, but Marco lets him and allows him freedom to be himself. ”
“Nicky lets Marco think he gives him freedoms. It’s all a kind of game, Rory. Nicky does whatever he pleases, and he and Marco both know it. It just took Nicky a little time to catch on. ”
“That isn’t what Casey plans on. ” Rory sighed and glanced up at the clock on the wall in worry. “Where’s Casey? I want to see him. ”