Each word hit him like a physical blow. Exactly as he’d feared, Marco hated him. Obvious now, and it had probably been obvious all along, but Nicky hadn’t wanted to see it. Marco made a mistake. There was no blood match with him. Nicky was a mistake, an error. He put a shaking hand to his face. A terrible pain pierced his chest. Could he actually be feeling his heart breaking? He stumbled down the path, running away from the pain.
He was terrified, the pain emanating from his very soul, forcing its way out of him. He stumbled out into the forest, something inside him clawing to burst free. He fell on the ground, writhing in agony. A growl tore itself past his lips, a terrible sound that frightened him and filled him with unreasoning rage. He opened his mouth and a wolf-like howl issued forth, inhuman, feral, and brutish. He got up on his knees and threw back his head to let the bestial sound out freely, easing the pain a little. The howl reverberated through the trees, and startled yells came from the group still standing some fifty yards away by the ancestral ring. He jumped to his feet, aware they were coming toward him, excited yipping and growling issuing from the group as he howled out his challenge.
He tore off his clothing, which was suddenly too tight and choking him. His body was changing, morphing into something not quite human, something savage. The pack surrounded him, sniffing at him, stalking him, and in front paced a big silver wolf with beautiful, flashing eyes. Nicky wanted to kill him, to rip his heart out as he’d ripped out Nicky’s. Nicky stood with his feet planted wide apart, his chest heaving and his hands clenched into fists. The big wolf morphed into Marco again. Marco, the only man he’d ever loved, the only man he hated. He growled at him again, a low, guttural sound. Marco stared at him in horror.
“Nicky?” he whispered. “Nicky, is that you?”
“What the fuck do you care?” Nicky didn’t even recognize the sound issuing from his throat. His voice was deeper, fierce and harsh. “You said I’m impossible, remember? You’re through with me. So fuck you!”
The other wolves gathered close to their Alpha. Some had already shifted back to human form, and they all stared at Nicky in fascination and disbelief. He could see Rory at the back, his face blank with horror. Ian, Marco’s beta, stepped up beside Marco and grabbed his arm when he would have stepped forward. Marco shook him off impatiently. He kept his voice low and calm as he spoke to Nicky.
“Nicky, it’s Marco. Do you recognize me?”
“Oh, I recognize you. You’re the bastard who’s been torturing me for the last few weeks. Well, I’m through, do you understand? I never want to see you again. I don’t need anybody! I don’t need you!” Another howl escaped his lips as a terrible pain racked his body, and he fell back to his knees. His body shuddered, and the snarling tore at him. Still on his knees, the pain ripping him apart, he put back his head and another ferocious, inhuman howl tore from his chest.
Marco rushed him, putting him down on the ground with his knee in his back, pulling his arms behind him. He struggled fiercely, trying to dislodge him. Marco was much too strong. Another terrible pain racked Nicky’s body, settling in his spine. He howled again in agony. A blow struck the back of his head. His body sagged, no longer struggling, and he thought he might be dying. Sinking into oblivion, he was fleetingly sorry the last words he ever said to Marco were so harsh. He wished he might call them back, and then the darkness fell down on him like an avalanche.
* * * * Nicky ran through a forest, wind in his hair. He came to a lake and jumped in, the cool water closing over his head comforti
ngly. He could hear someone calling him, as if from the shore, and he struggled to the surface, wanting to answer, wanting to obey. He felt the familiar touch on his lips, and the back of his head. Someone urged him to feed from their wrist. He closed his eyes and let the bright sweetness pass over his lips, the sucking motion of his lips soothing him, quieting his need to struggle to the surface.
Nicky woke up slowly, trying to stretch his arms over his head. Something held them down. He had a horrible headache and winced at the light streaming in the window, keeping his eyes tightly shut.
“Nicky? Are you awake?” He opened his eyes to see Marco sitting beside him on a chair by the bed. It wasn’t his and Marco’s bed though, and for a moment he couldn’t understand what was happening. He was lying in some kind of hospital bed, his arms strapped down to the bed rails. He pulled at the straps, panicking and breathing hard.
Marco jumped and bent over him, putting his hands on his shoulders. “Stop, baby, you’ll hurt yourself. ” “What? What’s happening? Why do you have me strapped down?” He looked around himself wildly. He was in a room he didn’t recognize, stark with plain white walls and one uncurtained window high up on one wall. “Where am I, Marco?”
“Baby, calm down. Nothing bad is happening to you. I’m here with you, and I won’t leave you. ”
“But where am I?” Nicky pulled against the straps and thrashed his head on the pillows. “Let me up!”
“Nicky, you have to calm down. Listen to me. You’ve been ill, but I’m taking care of you. You’re going to be fine, I promise you. ”
Somewhat soothed by his quiet voice, Nicky subsided a little, looking up at Marco. “But I don’t understand. Oh my God, is this the basement cell? Did you put me here because of the challenge? I’m sorry, Marco. I’m so sorry! Let me go, and I’ll leave. I promise. You know I can’t stand being locked away. Please. I’m begging!”
Marco bit his lip a moment and then hurried to release Nicky’s arms. He put down the side of the bed and climbed into the narrow space, lying beside him and held him close. Wrapping his arms around Nicky, he kissed his lips. “Be quiet, baby. Let me explain what I think has happened. Don’t be frightened, because I’m handling it, okay? Now are you ready to listen?”
Nicky nodded, snuggling up into Marco. Marco’s wonderful smell washed over him, and even though he knew Marco didn’t love him anymore, he reveled in his closeness.
“After the challenge, we heard a howling. We rushed over and found you—changed. ”
The way his voice tightened at the last word alarmed Nicky. “Changed? What do you mean?”
“None of our pack has ever seen it before; we’ve only read about it in old books passed down through the pack. But we think—we think you went feral, Nicky. ”
Nicky jumped. “What?”
“You went without feeding for a long time, too long. We’d only changed you a short time ago, and your body couldn’t withstand the deprivation. You needed my blood. ” Marco kissed the back of his neck. “It’s my fault. I should have fed you the minute I saw you in the cave. Instead, I lost my temper and left you behind. I’m so sorry, Nicky. ”
“But-but how do you know? What did I do? I just remember getting really angry after I heard what you said to Ian, and I remember yelling at you. You knocked me down, didn’t you? That’s the last thing I remember. ”
“When we heard you howling, we ran over to where you were standing and you were changed. ”
His voice did the same thing when he uttered the word, sounding horrified. “That’s the second time you said that. How exactly was I changed?”
“You were bigger, more muscular. Sort of beast-like. Your face was a little like a wolf’s. ”
“Oh my God!”