He’s right.
I look up at him, tears spilling down my face. “They didn’t leave me a note,” I say, “Why did they do that?”
He picks me up, sets me on the countertop, and wraps his arms around me again, one hand gripping my hair as I bury my face in his neck.
I cry so hard it’s silent, and I can’t keep it back even if I try.
“Because they were fuckers, baby,” he says, his voice thick. “They were fucking fuckers.”
“I don’t know who I am,” I sob.
“Shhhh…”
He soothes me, rubbing his fingers in my hair and holding me tight. My arms hang limply at my side as every speck of energy drains, everything I’ve been holding in over the years and didn’t want to feel. It hurts.
“Shhhh…” he whispers in my ear. “It’s okay.”
He keeps me there, and I don’t know how long I cry, but when the tears start to slow, embarrassment warms my cheeks.
I try to lift up, but his hold stays firm, not letting me escape.
And just like that. I let it everything go. The worry, the doubt, the shame… I’m a fucking basket case, but he’s not going anywhere.
Slowly, I circle his waist with my arms, locking my hands behind his back as I breathe in the scent of his neck.
Warm. He’s so warm and they’re so warm. Everything is warm here. And even if we’re not finishing what we started, this feels just as good. I think Mirai was the last one to hug me. I let her do it on my last birthday, but I don’t think I let her give me a real one in years.
I calm after a while, the pain fading, because I know the truth. My parents didn’t love me.
And that wasn’t my fault.
But they did one thing right, I think as I hang onto my uncle and he holds onto me.
“So, you want me to tuck you in then?” Jake asks. “I can do that.”
I can’t help it. I let a laugh escape, and I feel his chest shake with one, too.
I lift my head up and wipe my eyes, seeing the drying tears streaked down his chest.
I wipe it off. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
Sniffling, I take a dish towel and clean both of us up. “You know, I was trying to be happy,” I inform him. “Meet a guy and all, but you wouldn’t let me.”
“I was afraid guys for you right now would just be you acting out. I didn’t want you to do something you’d regret.”
I stare up into blue eyes. So if this was just me acting out, what was it for you?
I swallow. I can still feel his hands on me.
“And maybe I was scared, too,” he tells me, giving me a cocky little smile. “Everyone will want you, and it’s our time with you.”
A flutter hits my belly. I like it when they say stuff like that.
“You okay with that?” he asks.
I nod. Having a family is nice.