“Nevermind, Mother,” Carmen said as she stood up and once again headed for the basement door. “You know exactly what I'm talking about because we've had that argument, too. And my answering that question will just lead us into that same argument and I'm really not with it, Mother, not tonight. So, if it's all right with you, I'm going to go downstairs and say hi to daddy.”
“That's it? Just like that? You walk in here after all these years and this is all you have to say to me, Carmen. I'm your mother and this is all you have to say.”
“What do you want from me, Mother?”
“A conversation maybe, yes, that's it, a conversation.”
“Okay, a conversation. It's always got to be your way. All right then. Hi, Mommy,” Carmen said posting a fake smile. “How are you?”
“Go. If that's the best you can do, and then go,” Dominique said, as a tear rolled down her cheek.
Carmen rolled her eyes at the sight of that single tear and started once again for the basement door. Then she stopped and looked back at her mother.
“I'm sorry, Mother.” Carmen walked back into the living room and faced her mother. “Look, Mother, I'm tired. I flew into New York from London and then I caught a flight here. I promised daddy that I would come and say hi to him and then I wanna get some rest.”
“I really think we need to talk, Carmen.”
“I promise, Mother, we'll talk tomorrow.”
“You know, I love you, Carmen,” Dominique said tearfully, reaching out for her daughter's hand. “You're all I have now.”
“Mother, please.” Once again Carmen started for the basement door, knowing that Dominique was right. They were all each other had, and they did need to talk. “We'll talk tomorrow.” There was a lot that she needed to get off her chest. She had carried the burden around with her long enough.
“You're welcome to stay here. Please stay.”
“I've got a suite at the Marriott, Mother, I'll be fine.”
“I know you'll be fine, Carmen. That's not the point. This is your home. I know, why don't I get your old room—”
“Mother, please. I just wanna say hi to daddy and get to my suite so I can get some rest. I have a big day tomorrow,” Carmen said, finally turning the knob and closing the door behind her before Dominique could say anything else.
Carmen stood at the top of the steps as her eyes filled with tears. Her ears filled with the sounds of jazz music. It was her fathers' passion. She walked slowly down the steps and once again her thoughts turned to Desireé. She thought about the many hours she and Desireé spent in that basement with their father. Sitting and listening to the likes of Thelonious Monk, Charlie Parker, and John Coltrane. But her fathers' favorite was Miles. “Picked up another Miles Davis CD, huh.”
“Carmen.” Carlton Taylor could hardly believe his ears. He jumped out of his chair. “Come here, girl, don't just stand there, show your daddy some love.”
Carmen walked across the room, looking at the pictures on the walls. Once again she began to cry, looking at the pictures of her and Desireé. Looking at those walls was like looking at a pictorial biography of their life. This was actually the first time that she allowed herself to feel. The tears came harder and she rushed to her father’s embrace.
“Let it out baby girl.”
“I'm all right, Daddy. Seeing these pictures. — I just never thought that—”
“Its okay, Carmen. You don't have to say anything. Just let it out.” Carlton stood quietly, holding his daughter while she cried.
After a while, Carmen asked if they could go outside. “I just can't stay in here looking at those pictures.”
“Sure, Carmen, we can sit out by the pool and talk.”
The change in location did little to change her mood. Carmen couldn't stop herself from thinking about Desireé. They sat outside for hours, reminiscing about the good times they'd spent together. A few times, Carmen began to cry. Carlton could see that maybe it was time to change the subject.
“Where are you staying, Carmen?” Carlton asked.
“I've got a suite reserved at the Marriott.”
“Which one?”
“By the airport.”
“You know that you're welcome to stay here. You know we'd love to have you.”